Tuesday 29 October 2019

Not Blue Suede Shoes

Hello ... is this Customer Services?

Hi ... I am calling about Order Number 7354 which I placed on-line a few days ago.

Yes, that's me. You got the right name and address.

Yes ... the packet arrived today. Only there's been a mistake at your despatch department. I ordered a pair of Elegant Gents shoes ... no ... ELEGANT Gents not eggplant. Yes ... Order Number 7354.

Well ... instead of two shoes I received three. No ... no ... not three pairs but actually three shoes. Yes, I'm sure. I have them here in front of me. Let me count them out loud for you ... one ... two ... three. I have three shoes.

Let me explain what is wrong with them.

I have one left shoe. It is an Elegant Gents model. It is size 10. It is black. I love it. The despatch department at your end met all the requirements of my Order Number 7354 as far as the left shoe is concerned. If your firm gave awards for meeting the customer's order requirements then your despatch people deserve an award as far as the left shoe is concerned.

Not so for the right shoe I'm afraid. This shoe is a totally different model the name of which I do not know nor do I care. It is size 8. Thus being the wrong size and too small to wear. Also it is brown and not black as ordered. So it fails on all counts as ordered by me on-line; and your despatch department deserves to loose the award they would have received for the left shoe.

The third shoe? Well ... the third shoe fails on more counts one would wish to consider, had one the time to do so and not having lost the will to live.

For a start ... it is surplus to requirements. I do not need a third shoe. Not unless I had a third leg in-between my existing legs instead of my dangling bits.

Secondly, the third shoe, which is surplus to requirements is a left shoe ... not that it matters since I already have a perfect left shoe as ordered.

It is size 7 and it is white. It also has a high heel, it being a lady's shoe and not a man's shoe remotely resembling the Elegant Gents model as shown on your website.

So all in all your despatch department has only got half the order correct as compared to what I requested. Or 33.3% correct if you account for the additional shoe which, as I said, is surplus to requirements and will not be hanging between my legs.

Hello ... hello ... are you still there? You went silent for a moment and I heard a stifled sound as if you were not taking me seriously.

I see ... Let me see if I understand what you are saying. You will cancel Order Number 7354 altogether and you will refund my credit card for the full amount paid so I am not out of pocket. That's very decent of you. Is that you laughing, again?

So ... What do I do with the shoes you sent me? What ... you don't want them back? You mean I can keep them and no need to return them?

Well ... thanks ... I'll use the two men's shoes as plant pots for my geraniums. I've still to decide what to do with the lady's shoe!

22 comments:

  1. Oh I do hate having to call companies or businesses and try to well, take care of business. It's an exercise in frustration. I will keep your suede shoes in mind next time I need to pick up the phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is also annoying, Linda, is when they put you on hold and a tape recorder says, "Your call is important to us ... please wait ..."

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. And yet you still don't have the shoes you want! What are they going to do about that part?

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    1. I did not bother to order another pair from them.

      Luckily, I have other shoes, Mimi. Sometimes buying on-line is easier than going to the shops in town where traffic is heavy and it is not easy to park.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Exactly why I loathe talking to Customer (non)Service Departments everywhere! Give me a keyboard and internet connection any day. At least I won't have to hear any stifled sounds.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes internet type firms are worse, Mevely. I know of an internet broadband provider, (and an insurance firm), both of which do not have the facility to be contacted by e-mail. The only contact is by phone or by old style letter.

      Can you imagine? A firm which provides internet and phone connection to your house will not accept e-mails from customers! If you phone them you have no record of the conversation. If you send an old style letter it will take ages before your problem is resolved.

      And that's modern technology in the UK.

      God bless, Mevely.

      Delete
  4. They do screw up a lot, I suspect there are two other people not happy with their order.

    Beware of there scams also. Mrs. C has ordered things like cookies or nuts, and not realized that if you do not specify, they take it as a recurring order and send and charge you every month. Stopping the monthly charge and delivery takes a lot of patience over the phone...they do not make it easy.

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    1. Thanx JoeH. I did not realise about the scam and the repeat orders. Life is complicated enough without these big businesses making life more difficult. See my response to Mevely, above.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  5. I do as Mevely317 does. It is just too easy to mess up the phone order. With the computer, everything is in writing.

    Left shoe, aubergine color, and a woman shoe? Classic look.

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    1. I did order on-line, Susan. The phone call was to explain they messed the order.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. My pet peeve is speaking with Customer Service people whose first language isn't English. So often I have to describe the problem two or three times before they understand what I am saying.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we have the same problem in the UK too.

      God bless, Kathy.

      Delete
  7. Hate, hate, hate having to call customer no-service, Victor! And I can't imagine a company such as this ever making money on their products when they can't get an order straight. At least you now have some flower pots.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. It is a shame that despite wonderful websites their customer service and despatch departments let the team down.

      God bless you, Martha.

      Delete
  8. I absolutely despise talking to customer service on the phone. It always turns in to a nightmare. I can tell you plenty of stories but I'm sure you have a few yourself. :)

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    1. Sadly, you are right, Bill. Customer service staff need some good training to ensure the customer is satisfied.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  9. I will bet that they had a suggestion for what you could do with that third shoe Victor 👞👟👠

    God Bless 💮

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't ask, Jan. I didn't ask!

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  10. I really dislike having to talk to a customer service person on the phone. It is so frustrating!
    Thanks for the funny story!! : )

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    1. It's a shame that they loose the customers' goodwill by their attitude.

      God bless, Happyone.

      Delete
  11. I've yet to meet anybody who likes speaking/calling customer services … just sometimes I do feel sorry for the folks who do this job.
    However, on a rare occasion, quite recently a problem was solved successfully by them!!!
    I enjoyed your story Victor, thank-you.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. I know someone who works at such a call-centre. They said that they are timed as to how quickly they respond to the call and deal with it. That's why often they tend to sound un-helpful. They keep an eye on the clock whilst talking to you.

      God bless, Jan.

      Delete

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