Saturday 19 October 2019

Sapristi Alors!

Our church has one of those huge baptismal fonts made of stone or concrete or such like material. Why it’s so big beats me. It’s an old church and I reckon babies in olden times must have been born really big which must have been an ordeal for their poor mothers. Either that or perhaps in olden times they put the whole baby in the font rather than just wet his head.

Anyway, that aside, it has become a habit in our church to baptize babies during Sunday Mass rather than at a private service at some other time. Just after reading the Gospel, the priest moves to one side near the font and baptises the child whilst the whole congregation witnesses and joins in the event. It’s rather nice I think.

This week Father Gaston celebrated Mass. He is a temporary priest whilst our priest is away. He is French, severe looking with a gaze that would turn you into stone before you even thought of sinning, and a monosyllabic conversation only used on rare occasions when he has something to say.

He also uses reading spectacles which he balances precariously on the end of his long aquiline nose; and looks at you from above them whilst speaking to you. I believe he looks at people from above the glasses so as not to wear out the lenses.

He stood by the font reading from his book whilst the proud parents and god-parents waited patiently as they handed the baby to each other. He was a lively little mite; the baby that is … about eight or nine months old. You could hear him gurgling and laughing throughout the church.

At the appropriate moment the mother held him on top of the font and as Father Gaston poured water on the child’s head he raised his hand out and hit the priest in the face knocking the spectacles in the font.

The priest stopped and said something in French which is not in my Missal. He then reached into the font for his glasses forgetting that his vestments had long and wide sleeves.

He withdrew his hand and put the wet glasses on. As water dripped on his face he realized his sleeve was soaking wet. He tried as best as he could, with as little dignity as remained in the situation, to squeeze the water from his sleeve back into the font. He then dried his face and glasses; and continued with the Baptism.

I felt sorry for the poor parents.

But not so much for Father Gaston.

18 comments:

  1. Hi Victor,
    I have to ask where it says about baptising babies in the scriptures. Doesn't Mark ch. 16 v.16 say 'Whoever believes and is baptised....' Doesn't that mean you have to 'believe', and how can a baby do that?

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    1. Thank you for making your point, Brenda.

      God bless.

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  2. ... Perhaps, if the parents had not waited a whole 9 months before getting their son baptized ... After all, at 9 months of age, that baby was probably already 'crawling' and quite 'active'. As well, he was probably a little too heavy for his MOTHER to be holding him in her 'outstretched arms', hovering (& squirming'?) over a 'large & deep' Baptismal Font! Perhaps it should have been the FATHER, holding their son in that precarious position?! I'm pretty sure that the children at Mass that day, will remember that 'event' with considerable mirth at the French priest's expense!

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  3. Baptisms are memorable for many reasons. This one will, no doubt, go down in this family's history! Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

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    1. It was a fun baptism as they go.

      God bless you, Cathy.

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  4. Now, that's definitely a baptism to remember!
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. For some reason I enjoyed Fr Gaston getting wet.

      God bless, Martha.

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  5. A little chuckle by the priest as his glasses were knocked off would have created a whole different atmosphere for the parents and congregation. It would put everyone at ease but instead he gets mad. Not a good choice.

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    1. Zee French ... zey do not 'ave zee sense of zee humeur, n'est ce pas?

      God bless you, Bill. Keep smiling.

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  6. Another funny one Victor!!
    We have immersion baptism for believers in my church and babies are dedicated to Christ.

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    1. The Catholics normally have baby baptisms by pouring a little water on the child's head. Sometimes we have adult baptisms for people wishing to join the Church in adulthood.

      God bless you always, Happyone.

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  7. That's probably the most entertaining baptism the congregation ever witnessed! Being raised in the Lutheran church, I'm very familiar with that form of sacrament. When my (humor-less) uncle was invited to baptize my son, that church's font was an enormous clam shell ... so obviously, I enjoyed this very much.

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    1. For some reason, old churches seem to have very large fonts. But then, in those days they did build churches in a grand scale.

      God bless you, Mevely, my friend.

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  8. I've never understood a man of God who has no sense of humor, I have to think that God has a sense of humor.

    If we can't laugh at ourselves, everyone else will.

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    1. I sincerely hope God has a sense of humour otherwise I am in great trouble, JoeH.

      I agree, a man of God should have a sense of humour. I know some that don't and frighten the congregation away.

      God bless.

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  9. Heeheehee! That family is going to have a fun tale to tell. Father Gaston, not so much, i think he won't ever see the humor in it.

    As for different methods of baptizing, sprinkling versus dunking, what's really telling is how they do it in a drought. When they are trying to be frugal with water, the dunkers sprinkle, the sprinklers use a damp cloth, and the very frugal Presbyterians hand out rain checks!

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    1. Different denominations have different ways and practices regarding baptism. The one with Father Gaston was a new method using spectacles.

      God bless you, Mimi.

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