UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.
UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.
Wednesday, 25 November 2020
The other day in church, for no apparent reason, unless it was just to annoy me, there was a lady in the choir playing the flute. You know the one I mean? A wooden tube about 12 inches long with a lot of holes in it and you blow at one end to produce the most horrendous of sounds. Silent was the usual musical organ, and the occasional guitars we have every few Sundays. Today it was just that woman with a flute accompanied by a choir singing like a load of amorous cats on heat at night. I am sure God did not deserve such a cacophony.
When I got home I searched the Internet for the origin of the flute. Apparently, it dates thousands of years and in very ancient times it was a favourite amongst shepherds who used to play it at night to pass away the time whilst guarding their socks ... flox ... sheep! Unfortunately, as the shepherds played their flutes rather badly, a bit like the woman in the choir today, the sheep thought that he had a lung obstruction which made him wheeze as he breathed, so they all bleated in sympathy. Consequently, their bleating attracted the wolves from far and wide who thought there was a self-service restaurant serving nice lamb for free.
It took quite some time for the slow-witted shepherds to make the connection that their flute playing made the sheep bleat which in turn invited the wolves for dinner. So the practice of shepherds playing the flute eventually died away.
However, this was not the case in church the other day. That woman was determined to ruin everyone of my favourite hymns as she screeched out of tune making God reach out for the headache tablets.
Perhaps next week I should bring a few sheep to church to supplement the out-of-tune choir.
Posted by Victor S E Moubarak at 00:00:00
Labels: The Flute
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That must have been awful, when out of tune and persisting to screech on through the entire Mass.
Are they deaf themselves?!
I never thought of that. Maybe they can't hear themselves screeching. Good point, Mariette.Delete
...an interesting history lesson.ReplyDelete
Tuneless history ...Delete
God bless, Tom.
Oh, the poor sheep! Your choir sounds worse than the bell choir I had the misfortune to hear last year.ReplyDelete
The sheep should have learnt to play the flute; that way the wolves would have eaten the shepherds!!!Delete
Some people volunteer for jobs in church, like playing/singing in the choir, and seem to do it for a lifetime.
God bless, Mevely.
Yes! Bring your flock to the flock, so to speak. That should teach them. :)ReplyDelete
What makes it worse, is that at the front there is a "leader" waving her hands up and down like an orchestra conductor and no one seem to take any notice of her. I could do that job; just waving my hands about!Delete
God bless, Martha.
After preparing stuffing for the Thanksgiving Dinner, deviled eggs, cheese cake and a banana pudding, I needed a good laugh, and you provided me with that. I now have one more thing to be thankful for tomorrow at our dinner table. Thank you much, Victor. BlessingsDelete
You have been busy today, Nells. Your Thanksgiving Dinner sounds delicious. Wishing you all the best to you and your family.Delete
God bless always.
I'm sure God sent the woman with the flute just to annoy you. Consequently you wrote the text I found highly amusing and laughed heartily. Conclusion: Good God is so caring He even provides for my daily dose of laugh!ReplyDelete
It is good to laugh, Ladka. Laughter is a better sound than the flute.Delete
Awful music can ruin a day and can make a song sound terrible. Maybe they should ban flutes at the services.ReplyDelete
I agree, they should ban flutes from services. The organ and even guitars are OK; but the flute does not fit in somehow.Delete
God bless, Bill.
Delightful post! My wife put her flute away 50 years ago. Never told me why --you think I should raise the subject of wolves or just leave it be?ReplyDelete
No ... don't mention wolves Geo. It is OK to flute at home, or anywhere; but not in church. Not when I'm there at least.Delete
God bless you and yours.
Flute has a unique sound, this is why if someone blows it I'm always interested to listeningReplyDelete
Our church has a small instrumental combo join the choir for Easter and Christmas masses, but they all do a good job. Sorry to hear that your instrumental experience wasn't as melodic.ReplyDelete
The flute was out of tune!Delete
God bless, Kathy.
Maybe you just need to hire someone better to toot the flute.ReplyDelete