Go away ... I'm busy!

Why is it when I'm busy trying to do something I get as many interruptions as you can fit in a short space of time? There I was at home busy writing an urgent report which just had to be finished for work that day when the phone rang.

"Hello ... yes, it's me. How can I help you? ... ... ... No thank you, I do not need to have new windows fitted in my house. Why? Because I live in a tent, that's why. Good bye!"

I got back to work. A few minutes later the phone rang again.

"Hello ... ... ... No thank you I do not have time right now to take part in a shopping survey ... ... ... why? Because a horse has just got in my house and left a pile on the carpet which I have to clean up before my wife gets home! The vacuum cleaner does not work. So unless you can deliver a new vacuum cleaner in the next ten seconds. Good bye!"

I put the phone down feeling proud of my impromptu response. Why do these salesmen phone when I'm busy? I have to answer the phone personally because I'm expecting an urgent call from a work colleague; so I can't leave the answer-phone machine to take the calls.

As I got back to work, the door bell rang. Someone is standing there with a collecting tin.

"This is a collection for fallen women!" he said.

"Sorry ... I haven't got any here!" I reply flippantly.

Then, feeling a little guilty I give him a penny. (That's four pennies I have already given away so far this month.)

I hate it when people with collection tins make you feel so guilty in your own home? If it's in the street you can always avoid them by walking the other way, like in the story of the Good Samaritan. 

I really don't see the point at all in being charitable. You give money away to charity and don't get any benefit from the transaction. What's so clever about that?

Anyway, after the latest interruption I got back to work and the phone rang again.

"Hello ... goodbye ... go away!" I shout.

"Oh sorry auntie ... I did not know it was you! Is it urgent? Only I have a lot to do right now ... No of course you're not interrupting auntie ... only ... I have to finish some work and then go to the vet ... No, I am not with Yvette. Yes, I know she is a wonderful young lady. Yes ... I know she has been feeling a bit down lately ever since her poinsettia plant died. I know they're delicate plants, auntie ...What is it I can do for you auntie? Can it wait or is it urgent?

No ... As I said I am not busy with Yvette. I have never been busy with Yvette or any one else for that matter ... well, my wife maybe ... every blue moon it seems! I said I was due to go to the vet ... No not a bet ... you know I don't bet. I said VET with a V for Violet ... not a B for Batty Old Aunt ... No auntie, I am not shouting. I am not with Violet either ... No Yvette and no Violet ... I am here alone. Here ... listen ... You see ... you cannot hear anything because there is no one else here ... except me. 

 Oh ... don't get upset auntie ... I'll come over to see you later OK? I'll buy you some flowers and some chocolates from the gas station to cheer you up. Hello? I can't hear you auntie ... I am loosing the connection ... the train is going into a tunnel and I'll lose the ..."

I put the phone down with a smile wondering whether she will ever realise she had phoned me at home and not on a train on my cell-phone.

The phone rang again within minutes.

"Hello auntie ... yes, I can hear you OK. The house has just got out of the tunnel. Bing Bong. Bing Bong. Sorry auntie. I have to go now. There's someone at the door."

I put the phone down.

It rings again immediately. It is my work's colleague. The report I am writing is not that urgent after all. Management needs it in a week's time.