Ten New Year Resolutions you may want to try

 

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HAPPY AND BLESSED NEW YEAR

TO YOU ALL

GOD BLESS.

It is the time of year when we are tempted to make New Year resolutions aimed at improving ourselves or become better in some way or other. For example people resolve to lose weight and go on a diet, exercise more, or drink less and so on. Most of these resolutions are broken and forgotten within days.

To help you keep your resolutions, here are ten which you may like to try. Print them and refer to them about once a month to see how you're doing.

1    Have more fun. For example, if your spouse likes to read and keeps a photo or piece of paper in the book to mark how much they have read; then surreptitiously move the paper a few pages forward. They'll pick up the book and wonder whether they have read this bit already, or imagined it! Great fun.

2    Read more. Put on the subtitles when you watch TV. If you watch a film like Les Miserables with the subtitles (closed captions) on; you can claim you read the book.

3    Ask your spouse what resolutions you should have. If you break them you can always blame her for being too strict. My wife has not told me yet what my resolutions are ... apart from painting the front gate and fence!

4    Don't let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started as a basket case.

5    Never worry about tomorrow. It has already happened in Australia.

6    Remember that time is a great healer; but a lousy beautician.

7    Learn not to care. What was important years ago is no longer that important today. Learn what is important enough to care about and don't waste time on trivia.

8    Try to enjoy what each day brings. Whatever your situation, your health, or your condition; there is always something to be thankful for. 

9    If you have vegetarian friends, put a stick of celery through their window and shout, "The Triffids have landed. The Triffids have landed!" Or put a carrot on your shoulder and tell people you are a vegetarian pirate. Or pour cream on your shoulder and tell them your parrot had diarrhoea.

10    Don’t worry if your life’s a joke, and your successes few; remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you!

11    And finally, if like me, you're a Catholic, go to Confession and ask the priest, "Have you heard any good gossip lately?"

I've decided to take more risks in 2025. I will wear my underpants over my trousers like Superman.

Seriously though: be thankful every day as you trust in God to see you through onto eternity.