Meet my Book Promotions Team

Bonzo Bookcase - Marketing Manager 

I have a new Marketing Manager and a Public Relations Adviser. His name is Bonzo Bookcase. You can see his photo above.

We met today to discuss ways of promoting my books and how to get help from my loyal readers to pass the word around about my books and recommend them to other potential readers.

The conversation went something like this:

Marketing Manager: You must stop monkeying around Vic and take this question of book promotions seriously.

I didn't pay much attention as I was eating some monkey nuts he had in a bowl at the time. He threw a banana at me to get my attention and asked: How many books have you got published so far?

Larry Adman - Public Relations Adviser 

Me: Forty - and a cartoon one available to download FREE from my website (HERE).

Larry Adman, the PR Adviser smirked as he chewed on a banana.

Bonzo Bookcase shook his head in contempt, scratched his armpit for a while, and then said: Forty? You have a lot to say for yourself. Are they all available on-line as well as in the shops?

Me: Yes, some are available in paperback and Kindle format from AMAZON, whilst others are available in Kindle format only. I have a website which shows my Christian books and my Funny books too.

Marketing Manager: Funny books?

Me: Yes, they attract new readers who may then hopefully read my Christian books too. My website has an option called "more" at the top of the screen where people can choose the style of book they want to read (HERE).

Marketing Manager: Good ... have you had any feedback from your readers. And I don't mean have they sent you bananas and peanuts!

Me: Yes, some have e-mailed me saying they liked the books, others have left Reviews on the AMAZON website.

Marketing Manager: Why don't you encourage them to write more Reviews on AMAZON for you?

Me: How? Anyway, I don't want to impose.

Marketing Manager: You're not imposing you ape! If your readers genuinely like what you write they'll be happy to spread the word for you in AMAZON Reviews or by word of mouth even. If some of your readers have Blogs or contacts on social media like FB, X or whatever, why don't they write about your books there? That's the greatest compliment they could pay you? Better than just good wishes. 

Ask them ... beg them even ... to tell others about your books. If they are as nice as you say they are, they will oblige.

Me: Sounds a good idea! I just don't want to bother my readers.

Marketing Manager: Your books are not expensively priced ... why is that? Some are the price of a cup of coffee or a bunch of bananas; peanuts even!

Me: The intention is not to make money. The price of the books is based on production costs and postage. The royalties I get are very low ... just a few cents per copy.

Marketing Manager: No wonder you pay me peanuts then? WAIT A MINUTE !!! Are you mad Mister? It says HERE that you are giving some of your books for FREE. For FREEEE!!!!

Me: Well ... my intention is that people would like what I write and then get to read my Christian books and ...

Marketing Manager: Giving away books for FREE! Well that's an excellent business model that is. Are you trying to make a monkey out of me?

Me: Well ... I thought ...

Marketing Manager: That's the problem with you ... you thought ... well, stop thinking and leave the planning to me. People these days want to know the person behind the author. Who are you? What kind of person are you? They like to get to know you ... and a heart-rending story helps ... it makes them like you more.

Tell them a sad story about you to make them feel sorry for you and buy your books. I can arrange to have you run over by an elephant for example. I have an elephant friend at the zoo, or a rhino if you prefer. Or get a bear to bite your backside ... or a lion to maul you over ...

NOTE: At this point I decided to run out of Bonzo's office without signing a Contract with him. Any ideas or advice as to promoting my books gladly appreciated. Or an AMAZON Review perhaps. Thanx.

Emma Penniless - Accountant