My marriage breakdown ...

 

We've been having marriage problems. After such a long marriage we've decided, reluctantly on my part, to seek the advice of a marriage counsellor. 

He sat us down and asked politely how he could help us.

My wife immediately went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem she claims we've ever had in the 25 years we've been married.

She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, not listening to her, not helping in the house, and a long list of unmet needs she said she had endured over the course of our quarter century of marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist/counsellor  stood up, walked around his desk and, asking my wife to stand, he embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth. I was appalled. It lasted for a couple of minutes. I'd never seen kissing like that before; with his hands wandering all over her like that. 

When he finished, my wife shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down.

The therapist turned to me and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?"

I hesitated and thought for a moment then replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays to Fridays, but at weekends I'm playing golf, football and I go fishing with my friends!"