Close encounter of the spaceship kind

 

I was out in our back garden late at night with our dog. He was running here and there as he usually does. I noticed up above me, about 30 feet or so high, a UFO. It looked like a small plane, the size of a wheelie-bin used for trash. It was some 3 feet long and 18 inches wide. At first I thought it was a toy; but who would be flying a toy at this time of night? And it was not flying. It was standing there in mid-air about 30 feet up. It turned red, and then orange, and then green, and then red again. It took me a while to realise it was the reflection from the traffic lights outside.

Then a light shone on me from the spacecraft and I started to float slowly up in the air. I did not know what was happening to me. How could I possibly fit in a spacecraft so small?

I was suddenly in a room a hundred times the size of the spacecraft. It was well lit. There was a man there who looked like Charlton Heston as Moses in the film The Ten Commandments. He was actually dressed like Moses.

"Are you Moses?" I asked in trepidation.

He smiled as Heston did and replied, "No ... we can take any form that would be recognisable to the people we meet so as not to panic or frighten them."

How accommodating I thought; and I immediately started thinking of Marilyn Monroe, Gina Lollobrigida, Raquel Welch, Brigitte Bardot and any other desirable woman in the hope he'd turn into one of them; but he remained as Charlton Heston. Then, for some unknown reason, I thought of my mother-in-law and nearly had a heart attack.

"You're afraid of her," he said reading my mind.

"It's ... It's that she's everywhere," I stammered, "I sometimes get home from work and find her broomstick in the hall and wish I was still at work!"

"That's what we like about you earthlings," he said, "you have a sense of humour. Remember when you first started experimenting with space travel and you sent up a dog out there? We thought you must be really clever if even your dogs can fly a spaceship!"

I said nothing.

"Joke!" he said smiling again. "Apart from your humour, and one or two other good points, unfortunately overall you earth people are a bad lot. You are obstinate, you think you're always right, you do not forgive easily, you're violent, you settle your differences with wars and killings, you lie, you cheat, you steal, and you break everyone of The Ten Commandments by debating them and re-interpretating them to suit your selfish needs! Need I go on?"

"I ... I ... I'm sorry," I mumbled. I'd never seen Moses so angry even in the film he starred in.

"I didn't mean you personally," he said calming down, "but your whole human race. Although you're not a Saint yourself are you?"

"Is there no hope for us?" I asked hesitantly.

"I am not allowed to tell you," he replied.

And with that I landed with a bump in my back garden and discovered I was sitting on one of my dog's deposits.

Moses sure has a sense of humour!

Who's watching you?

 

There's a rumour going round here, from a friend who studies outer-space and visitors from other planets, that aliens from other worlds have landed here and are able to take the form of animals in our homes and farms. A bit like the shape shifter named Odo in Star Trek. Do you remember Odo? He could change his shape into anything or anyone.

Well, according to my friend, Ivor Anomaly, space aliens have landed on our planet years ago and take the shape of our pet dogs, cats or farm animals; parrots even, or birds in your garden. This way they infiltrate our lives and observe us quietly and send back information to their mother-ship parked nearby in the shape of a tree, trash bin or even a fire hydrant. Just like the telephone box in Doctor Who's Tardis.

Have you noticed how sometimes your dog would look at you intently with his head tilted to one side? He is gathering information ready to transmit to his colleagues nearby; like the recipe of your favourite cookies whilst you're baking, or the items on your shopping list.

Ivor warns us to be careful whilst undressing in front of our pets. They look confused at first and think that we are shedding our outer skin; yet all the time they are transmitting all they see to their spy satellite nearby. Also, never take a shower or have a bath with your pet dog or cat watching you. It may well confuse him and send the wrong information to his colleagues.

Another friend of mine is convinced that his new memory mattress is in fact a shape shifter from another planet because the mattress is now blackmailing him about who he had in his bedroom. 

Mrs Fathead from 15 Acacia Avenue down the road told me that her dog turned her husband into French fries and then ate him off the dining room table whilst she was on the phone. She hasn't seen her husband since they had a row that very morning.

There is as yet no evidence that shape shifters can look like inanimate objects like your clothing, or shoes, or the lamp stand. But people are wondering how sometimes you seem to have lost your car keys, spectacles, TV remote control and other things; and they are not where you last left them. Is it a space alien moving from one place to another, one wonders? 

In summary, be careful around your pets as they may not be what they seem. Were you there at their birth? How can you be sure they are not from outer-space?

Extra-Terrestrial Aliens from Outer-Space

 

The thing is: have we been visited by aliens from outer-space? Do they exist and are they living here amongst us hiding in plain sight?

Do they work from home? Is that why we don't see many of them in the streets? And if we saw them would we recognise them as aliens from outer space? Do they look different from us?

And do they have navels? That is important as it could be a distinguishing feature between them and us. That is if they look like us. Anyone without a navel is from another planet because they reproduce differently.

What if they look like an animal? A dog, cat, bird, pigeon, fish or whatever. What if your pet is in fact an alien from outer-space spying on you and sending messages to its home planet about you? Were you there at your pet's birth? No? So how can you be so sure it is not a space creature in pet form?

I say this because a friend of ours is convinced that aliens from outer-space have turned her husband into a carrot. She woke up one morning and her husband had gone. He hasn't been seen since. Instead, there beside her in bed was a giant carrot. She said it's not the same as cuddling in bed with her husband. 

The police suggested that maybe her husband just left her. Or he went on holiday without her. Which begs another question: where do aliens from outer-space go on holidays? Do they go somewhere sunny and hot? Or somewhere freezing cold? Or underwater perhaps? Do they like to eat foreign foods? But then, what foods do they eat? Pizza? 

Do they have tattoos? Why are they here? Do they like chocolates?

A scientist friend of mine who specialises in baking pizzas believes that we are all descendants from aliens from outer space. They visited us years ago when their own planet disintegrated like in the Superman story. They came here in their millions and we are their offspring.

Personally, I think he is wrong. I believe we have evolved from cauliflowers. You can tell by the similarities between us humans and cauliflowers. For example, many people are unable to think. Just like a cauliflower. It just sits there and does nothing. Just like humans do in front of the TV. 

So there you have it. We are either descendants from aliens from outer-space or we have evolved from cauliflowers. 

Science is undecided and awaiting a decision from AI.

Sinister Encounter - True Story

This is so unbelievable that I can hardly believe it myself. But it is true. It happened to me and it has really shaken me, I tell you. I have not mentioned it to anyone since.

It happened two years ago ... twenty three months to be precise. I was driving on business in Scotland and I took a detour not very far from Loch Ness, which is a deep, freshwater loch, (lake), in the Scottish Highlands extending for approximately 37 kilometres Southwest of Inverness.

 

I can hear you sniggering already. I wish you wouldn't. This has nothing to do with the famous monster. 

 

It was late at night, dark, gloomy and wet from continuous rain. It was a winding road so I was going slowly for fear of driving off the road into a ditch. I saw in my headlights some hundred yards ahead a figure cross the road from my right to the left - on my side of the road. In Britain we drive on the left. The steering wheel is on the right of the car. I saw the figure cross the road slowly from right to left, he stopped, and waved at me to stop.

 

I had to stop or else I'd run him over. He tapped on the window on the passenger side - i.e. on my left. I opened the automatic window, (foolishly) ... he put his hand through the apperture and opened the door and got in.

"Thank you for stop and pick me up!" he said in an unusual accent I'd never heard before. I can still remember the exact words. It was as if he had a heavy cold, or had difficulty breathing. There was a certain wheeze in his throat as he spoke and took breath.

 

I felt my knees knocking. Sometimes fear gets hold of you before you've had time to realise that you're afraid. 

 

"Where do you want to go?" I heard myself say, although I did not mean it. I wished I'd never stopped; but then I would have hit him for sure since he was standing in my way. Had I swerved left or right I would have ended in a ditch because of the wet greasy road.

 

He pointed forward and said, "ahead ..."

 

Hardly precise directions, but I moved on. He remained silent. I noticed from the corner of my eye that his face was a little un-natural. How can I describe it? It was white ... somewhat ashen. I'd noticed that when he opened the door and the internal light in the car came on. He had what I'd describe as a triangular head. A wide and large forehead and then the head narrowed as it went down to a very narrow and small chin and a small mouth. More like an upside down isoceles triangle. 

He didn't say much as he sat there wheezing with difficulty as he breathed. I noticed he breathed every thirty seconds or so. 

You know how your mind plays tricks on you when you're in a panic? I tried to imitate him by holding my breath every thirty seconds. I could not do it. We humans breathe more often than that. 

My fear created more panic in my mind. For something to say I mumbled, "rather terrible weather isn't it?"

"This is so ..." he replied.

An unusual answer, I thought. Normally people say, yes it's cold and wet, or something else about the weather. They don't just make a direct statement like "this is so."

To keep up the conversation, and perhaps to control my fear, I asked him what he was doing walking at this time of night.

"I am looking for the Loch Ness monster," was his wheezy reply.

Somehow, this allayed my fears a little. He was one of those people who believe there's a monster in the lake and spend their time searching for him. I smiled to myself. 

Pity none of them ever have a good camera on them when they see such a creature, I thought. It is always a blurry image that could be anything that they claim to have seen. Why is Nessie, as the monster is so fondly named, so inconsiderate and why does he, or she, not pause for a photo with the passing tourists like a good Scotsman would do in his national costume and bagpipes? Why is it alway a grey image with nothing to see or prove?

I continued the conversation as I kept driving not knowing where he wished to be dropped off. 

"There are many tourists ... and scientists ... (I added cautiously), from all over the world who visit these parts in search for the monster," I said, "where are you from?"

"I am not from earth," he wheezed, "I am from another galaxy not in your solar system!"

Somehow, maybe it was the way he said it, but those words suddenly felt true and extremely sinister. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. I kept thinking who or what is this sitting by my side.

Terror gripped every fibre of my being. I started trembling again. My knees started knocking again. I had butterflies in my stomach and their knees were knocking too. My skin had goosebumps and the goosebumps had their own goosebumps. In my sudden sense of panic and hopelessness I must have cried silently because I could feel tears trickling down my legs.

For some unexplainable reason, whilst still driving silently, I started thinking perhaps there's a spaceship flying in orbit high above us following our every movement. Perhaps he was in communication with the mother-ship by telepathy. Various films and TV program I'd seen started replaying in my mind. All thoughts jumbled up adding to my fear and confusion.

Until such a situation actually happens to you, you do not know how you will react. What else could I do? Stop the car and run? Run where? As my mind froze at his revelation all I could do is continue driving. Suddenly it all seemed so plausible. So true. So real, yet so surreal.

I said nothing because there was nothing else left to say. What do you say in such a situation? I could hardly ask him inane questions about the weather where he comes from. Or where he'd been on holiday, or what food he likes. You know ... all those inane conversational questions we ask each other to pass the time.

This was not such an occasion. I had with me in the car a strange passenger whose appearance and behaviour had from the start seemed to me to be somewhat unusual; and who had now said he was from another planet, or galaxy, or whatever. Something about it all seemed truly genuine albeit bizarre.

I continued driving, saying nothing. Hoping and praying that this is all a dream, or a nightmare, and that I'd soon wake up.

Five or so minutes later he said, "Discontinue driving here. I wish to alight!"

I stopped almost suddenly. The car stalled as it was still in gear and then jumped once or twice like a kangaroo. When it came to a halt, he opened the door, got out, and said, "with gratitude and appreciations!"

Then he vanished into the undergrowth. 

I drove away as fast as my feet could carry me.