Wrong Decisions

 

Do you ever make the wrong decision and regret is afterwards. Happens to me often. I decided to improve myself so I went to the local college to enrol on an evening course; one evening a week. I had a choice of Emergency First Aid or Cookery. All the other courses were fully booked. 

I enrolled on the cookery classes to impress the family like those TV cooks do. A few weeks in the course, as I was leaving, a young lady walking ahead of me broke the heel of her shoe. The heel just came off. Her leg twisted and she fell to the ground in pain. She started crying. I approached her and got down to the ground beside her. I did not know what to do. I offered to cook her an omelette. She said something rude I'd rather not repeat here.

If only I had taken the First Aid course I could have given her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

There was this old lady standing at the bus stop hopping from foot to foot and watching up the road. It was obvious she wanted to cross the street but was too scared of the heavy traffic. Being the gentleman, I held her by the arm and said, "let's cross together madam!"

I walked her across the road. She was generally reluctant and kept looking back. She was obviously scared but I encouraged her along. When we got to the other side she hit me on the head with her umbrella. 

"You made me miss my bus, you idiot!" she said, "I was in a hurry to get home to go to the toilet. If I pee myself again it will be your fault!"

I gave up the cookery course. No one appreciated my food except the dog. I took up a Health and Safety course instead. The instructor was a young engineer. The first day of the course he had his arm in bandages. He lectured us on the dangers of falling off a ladder. He said that when working at heights you must always have someone hold the ladder for you in case it slips. He explained, "Don't do like me. When holding the ladder for someone, if he happens to fall, move away quickly in case he falls on you!"

I gave up that course too. There was another place available in the Self-Defence course. They advised me it would be useful in case I am attacked or mugged in the street on a dark night. Good idea, I thought. It is always dark at night where we live.

They taught us karate. Breaking planks of wood and bricks with a chopping motion of your hand. It hurt a bit but was effective. I got good at it.

One night I was attacked by a mugger. He took me by surprise. He hit me from behind and as I dropped to the ground he hit me again and again and took my wallet. As I lay there on the ground I saw a brick. I broke it with one chopping motion.

I complained to the college. They moved me to carpentry class. A few days later I was mugged by another thug on my way home. I offered to build him some shelves and he let me go. 

I always wanted to learn to play the guitar. I enrolled on that course too. By this time the college was getting a little fed up of me changing courses so often; but they obliged especially when some people had left their courses creating vacancies.

The instructor taught me how to use the plectrum. It’s a small triangular bit of plastic used to pluck the strings of the guitar. It’s easy to use, according to my instructor. Hold the plectrum with your fingers and pluck the strings one at a time. He showed me how to use it and then asked me to try.

I wish I didn’t … and so did he. I plucked the string so hard that the small piece of plastic flew out of my hand and hit the instructor in the eye. What he said next could not be put into music no matter what instrument you use. It was a string of unrepeatable words, none rhyming nor musically melodic, and hardly likely to be ever used in any lyrics I can think of.

Whether I liked it or not, the college moved me to Art Classes. Painting, drawing, pottery ... that sort of thing.

The first lesson I attended we had to paint a nude. I did not know what to do. Should I go or should I stay? The instructor sat us round in a semi-circle whilst the model got ready behind a screen. When he removed the screen ... ... I recognised the naked lady as someone from work!!!

Making decisions

 

There I was, ironing the creases out of crêpe paper and watching football on TV; and I started to think of times gone by when I had to make many a decision on the spot, or after long deliberations, even.

Decisions are often difficult to make. I've always been a little indecisive, but as I grew older I became less sure. For example, I can never decide whether to buy crunchy or smooth peanut butter. So I get neither and buy some Guinness instead.

Anyway, there I was watching TV one day when the kids came in with their new pet, a young and lively golden Labrador. "We're thinking of calling him Tulip", they said. 

"That's a silly name for a dog," I replied, "you need to call him something masculine to make him feel proud!"

"What shall we call him?" they cried.

The film Jaws was on TV, so I said, "call him Shark".

That was a bad decision when I had to call a runaway dog on the beach the following year.

Another bad decision is when I received a letter from the Headmaster of the children's school. Apparently, the Religion teacher had asked one of my children, "who broke the walls of Jericho?"

The child replied, "not me". Probably in jest. I don't know. The teacher told the headmaster and the headmaster wrote to me.

In sheer frustration and a little irritation ... I can't remember the right proportion of each, I picked up the phone and rang our priest. He was, after all, one of the school governors. 

He was very kind and promised to speak to the headmaster and get the wall fixed and paid for from the maintenance budget.

Anyway, that decision to ring the priest worked out OK at the end. Do you ever find yourself in difficult situations and you don't know what decision to make? 

This happened to me years ago when I was travelling on business. It had been a long day and I got to my hotel room really tired. I just wanted to go to bed.

There was a knock on the wall from the room next to mine and a voice said, "Is anybody there? I need help. I have fallen. Is any body there?"

How inconsiderate of him to pray so loudly, I thought. I knocked back on the wall and said, "We are all fallen. It is our sinful nature. Do me a favour mate, and pray silently!"

He knocked back and cried loudly, "I have fallen. I need help. I need help."

In sheer desperation I put a pillow over my head so that I could not hear him.

Bad decision. The Tooth Fairy wanted to take all my teeth. I told her in no uncertain terms where to go. Never put a pillow over your head or she'll get the wrong message.

Anyway, the next morning as I was going down for breakfast, I noticed there were ambulance men in the room next to mine.

I told one of them, "It's a priest this man needs, not one of you!"

I don't think the ambulance man understood me. He looked at me with disdain and told me to move on.

Just because he's got a uniform he has no right to speak to me like that. I'm not a moron, you know!

I wish I was better at decision-making, though.

Decisions, Decisions.

 I sat in my garden admiring that robin flying from one bush to another and then to the ground and then he flies away only to return a minute later. My thoughts wondered from one thought to another and led me to ask more questions leading to even more confusion.

Then the robin spoke to me and said that every decision I make has an effect on another person. I thought about that a bit. He is right, you know.

Let me give you an example. I had a brand new pair of pants. Never wore them. Bought them some time ago. They now do not fit me.

I took them to a tailor and asked him to let them out a bit. He said it will cost £x.

I asked him if it would be cheaper just to buy another larger pair of pants that would fit me.

He said, "No ... you should have me let out these pants for you to fit you. Because that is employment for me. The more you eat, the bigger you are, the more pants I have to let out for you. Which is good. Enjoy!!!"

We all inter-depend on one another in this world. Whatever choices I make in life will somehow affect you or some other person somewhere on the planet. Whether I buy this or that type of food, clothing or whatever will affect the economy or well-being of other people living elsewhere.

Let us say I want to buy a traditional petrol (gas) driven car or an all-electric car. Which one is best for me and for all those affected by my decision?

For the sake of fair comparison let us assume that both cars are identical - same shape, volume, capacity etc ... The materials required to make them, like steel, glass, plastic, rubber and so on is the same.

The robin told me to compare just the mode of motion or mobility. What makes the car move.

What I am comparing here is which engine is overall better in its environmental friendliness, and the cost of such friendliness.

The petrol driven car requires you to dig for oil from underground, transport it somewhere where it is made into petrol, transport that petrol and distribute it everywhere to petrol stations where I can go and fill my tank.

The electric engine requires you to make a battery where the electricity is stored. Then the electricity has to be made at the electric power station and distributed to me to charge my battery. 

Is the cost of making and distributing this electricity ... more or less than that of petrol? 

For example, if the electricity is made from burning coal, or from nuclear then we have to consider the pollution effects of that coal or the disposal of the nuclear bits we no longer want after we have made the electricity. This pollution/disposal costs money which should be added to the cost of production. I'm sure you understand what I mean. The robin certainly does!

Then we have to compare the actual distance travelled. If I want to drive X miles - how much petrol do I need in my car to drive that distance at a certain speed and efficiency? How does this compare with travelling the same distance and speed in an electric car?

What are the comparisons in costs, efficiencies, environmentally friendliness etc ... etc ... of the two  types of fuels.

Finally, my robin asks - is it better to have a red or a blue car? I prefer white. The robin prefers a green car.

And ... how can I attract more robins to my garden? More worms in the ground?