Showing posts with label detective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label detective. Show all posts

Thursday, 11 May 2023

Defective Detective

 


A Policeman is interrogating three men who are training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect; how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect; how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair, and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course, only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contact lenses or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the third guy replied." He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Thursday, 18 March 2021

Stupid ... Stupid Questions

 

Now I consider myself as capable at asking stupid questions as the next man, or woman. What I require is some sensible answers to my stupid questions.

I watched a TV detective type program the other day. This private eye had to spend the night in the same apartment as a pretty woman to protect her from the baddies who wanted to do her harm. It was an impromptu unplanned decision.

Now the questions running through my mind:

Did he have a change of underpants for the next day?

Did he brush his teeth in the morning?

Did he wear the same shirt on both days? He certainly looked nice and neat the next morning.

Why did he not need a shave the next morning? He looked well groomed to me.

And whilst we're at it ...

Why is it in these action type films where the hero often fights, runs and jumps from tall buildings, drives fast cars, and does all sorts of heroic things ... why does he never stops to go to the toilet? How come he can do all this fighting and running and shooting and everything without needing a pee? He must have a great bladder.

And one more thing ...

Why is it when I want to make lobster thermidor I can never find the thermidor? Can one buy thermidor at the supermarket?

Over to you for the answers.