Doing my bit

 

There's so much talk these days about saving the environment, helping the planet, reducing our carbon footprint, plastic waste, global warming, climate change and similar slogans that mean very little to most people.

We did not have all this when we were young. The planet seemed able to look after itself without our interference. 

The other day I was in the library standing by the Natural History section reading a book. A man approached me and said, "Do you realise that whilst you've been standing here they have pulled down 25 square miles of rain forest?"

So I moved somewhere else. I don't want to be blamed for the deforestation of any forest. 

I sat at a table reading. The man next to me was reading a book on World Population. Apparently, there's over 8 billion of us. He was reading a chapter on births and deaths. He told me, "Do you know, every time I breath in and out a person dies." I suggested he uses a better mouthwash.

In my own minuscule way, I am doing my bit to save the planet.

I have now decided to wash only half of my car at a time. Some weeks I wash the left side, other weeks the right side of the car. I plan beforehand where I'll be parking my car and whether people on the side-walk will see the left or right side of the vehicle. I'm saving water, soap, and ultimately the planet.

I've also decided to stop adding ice or water in my whisky. I drink it neat saving more water.

I often look at people from on top of my spectacles to save wearing out the lenses.

I used to walk home following the route the bus would take from town in order to save money. Now I follow the route the taxi would have taken and save even more money.

When people ask me for help or favours I usually make an excuse and ignore them thus saving the energy it would take in doing what they want or need. My wife is particularly upset about this; but I ignore her for the sake of the planet.

So you see, all this saving the planet and the environment talk is good as far as I'm concerned because I can get away from doing a lot of chores. Like painting the fence and gate - I said let's save some paint and do the job in a year or so. Like mowing the lawn - let's save electricity and not use the lawnmower that often; how about doing it next month. Like visiting the in-laws - let's save some gas and do it next year.

If you put your mind to it there's a lot of jobs you can postpone and procrastinate on in the name of saving the planet! What do you think?

Angry.Vic

 

Sit down and relax. I am about to vent my anger and you're the receiving end of my frustrations.

We hear a lot of moaning and groaning these days about global warming, and the planet overheating, and the melting of the Polar ice cream, and all other dire warnings leading to mass diarrhoea and the sewers cannot cope.

There is an obvious cause staring us in the face and we ignore it.

I don't know how it is where you live, but for many years I have commuted by train on a daily basis to London for work. There are millions doing this journey backwards and forwards each day. Not only to and from London, but I guess also Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Glasgow and other cities everywhere.

What a waste. Millions of cars, buses and trains going backwards and forwards. Can you imagine how much petrol/gas could be saved if we did not need these vehicle journeys? And how much electricity would be saved if we did not need all those trains?

And let's not forget the cost of heating two premises in winter. Your office, and your home for when you return.

And how about the human cost? Often my train used to arrive at a major London station and I had to run from one train to another platform to catch another train for an onwards journey. We would all get ready for the train doors to open and we'd run like ants to the next platform before the other train left. What does that do to your health every day? Especially if you are elderly and not well. On one occasion I saw a man collapse with a heart attack. Was it worth it?

When I worked in London, in my office there was a desk, a cabinet or two, a computer and a telephone. Oh ... and a chair in case I got tired working standing up. I could have had the same at home and worked just as effectively. In fact for a short period I tried it successfully.

The people working for me had the same equipment. They too worked in small teams but had no reason to be in a London office together. There was no reason for me to be with them or they near me. The work I gave them was project based. They had to do certain things by a certain time at a certain budget. To do this they used computers and telephones. They could have done it from home. There was no need for them to come to London daily. And we could all meet face-to-face once a month or so as long as they bought the beer. 

Come to think of it, there were other people too who could have worked in groups and individually from home. 

The only one who had to come in was the door-keeper. But then, with an empty buiding we would not need a doorkeeper.

If we're serious about global warming and the environment, let us think of obvious and easy solutions which we can implement quickly for the benefit of all.

I am getting tired ...

 

I am getting tired of being told what I should do in life by some so-called expert fathead on TV.

There was a program on TV blaming me for all the pollution out at sea harming and killing the fish. 

I'll have you know that I live miles from the sea and all my trash goes in separate bins to be re-cycled or dealt with according to what the so-called experts think is appropriate. I dispose of my trash according to the instructions given by the local Authorities. Can anyone explain to me how it ends in the sea? And how this is my fault?

Then there was another fathead expert on another program advising us all to stop eating meat to save the planet. He didn't say who we are saving the planet for. Idiots like him?

He claimed that animals such as cows, sheep and so on let off gases at both ends of their bodies and that this is bad for the ozone layer. His solution was that we stop eating meat and have fewer animals.

Now I don't mind people being vegetarians or people eating meat. It is a personal choice. But I resent being told and coerced into following a particular lifestyle because some idiot has deemed it necessary.

Has this man worked out what the world would be like if all of us on earth stopped eating meat? What would we do with all the cows, sheep, pigs, chickens and other creatures on our daily menu? Would we kill them all to extinction and burn them on a funeral pyre? 

Where would we find a substitute for all the milk produced; and milk by-products like cheese, yoghurt, cream and so on? Can you make cheese from almond milk? Does this man realise how many gallons of water are needed to produce just one almond? And how many almonds you need just to make one pint of almond milk?

Has he worked out the effect on the world economies if we all stopped eating meat? Why, my favourite fast food restaurant selling burgers and fried chicken employs six people alone. That's six people who will be out of work. How about all the others who farm animals, feed them, milk them, shear their wool to make woollen ties for me, collect their eggs to make omelettes for my breakfast, and so on and so forth? 

In short, I don't think that if we all stopped eating all meats it would have that much beneficial effect on the ozone layer as this man if he stopped guffing hot air from the orifices at both ends of his body. 

By all means, he can stop eating meat. That's more left for me and those who agree with me. Let him not lecture me on TV under the guise of expert in stupidity.

As for those who worry about plastic and other trash ending in the sea. Instead of blaming the consumer, why not get the producer to clean up their act? Why is it I can buy pasta and rice from one supermarket in plastic bags that are totally recyclable, whilst in other supermarkets pasta and rice, (and other products), are in bags that cannot be recycled? The price is exactly the same. So why do the producers not use recyclable plastic? The same applies to plastic containers for milk, shampoo, washing up liquid, lemonades and so on. Some are in recyclable plastic, others not.

And why are some products double and treble wrapped? You buy a presentation box of chocolates, or biscuits, or whatever and it is wrapped in cellophane, it's in a cardboard box, and inside you have plastic trays containing no more than 12 tiny chocolates, or biscuits. The same applies for many ready-meals you quick-cook in the oven. It's as if the only way you can have a square meal these days is by eating the boxes rather than their content. More vitamins this way too!

So, Mr Fathead on TV, instead of lecturing the poor consumer about saving the planet, laudable as this is; why don't you first tackle the problem at source? Eating meat has a lot of nutritional benefits which you may choose to avail yourself of, or not. Eating cardboard boxes on the other hand will provide you with some roughage but I doubt whether it will control your hot air emissions.

Not that subject ... again.

Now look here my friends, I believe I am a very reasonable and fair-minded man. After all, I tolerate a lot of idiots at work and amongst my acquaintances and so called friends. I often listen to their inane stupid prattling and even though I may not agree with their stupidity I smile benignly and let it pass. In from one ear and out of the other and nothing in the middle to impede the travel of their ignorant opinions.

I don't include you in that comment by the way. I like you and your Blogs and I think you lot and I are the only sane ones on this planet. The people I have in mind are the sycophants we have at work.

The other day at work I was caught in a meeting to discuss how we can improve our company image. (Personally, I think the best way to improve our image is by closing down altogether; but I said nothing).

Somehow, the discussion turned into our company being seen as being environmentally friendly, planet loving, caring for our children's future ... and such similar platitudes to make one's heart melt and to see me rushing out the door. But it was a business meeting and I was trapped.

Colleagues talked about global warming, climate change, burning fossil fuels, green sustainable energy, harnessing wave, solar and wind power, wind turbines, and similar other things they had read about or seen on TV and they were repeating them like demented parrots.

I kept quiet ... but my mind was thinking in all different tangents at the same time. This is how it went:

If these guys are serious about saving the planet they will have to make big changes to their lives.

They will have to give up their company cars for a start and use bicycles to go to work, and to go to meetings in other towns and cities millions of miles away.

They will have to stop flying everywhere and going on holidays abroad at least twice a year.

They will have to save energy at home and turn down the heating or air-conditioning altogether. They will need to burn trees or coal to keep warm in winter ... oops fossil fuels!

They will have to stop eating ready meals wrapped in plastic which is only used once and then thrown away. And drinking from one-use cups and bottles.

They will have to cut down altogether on all non-essentials which waste energy to produce, to market, and to sell, and serve no purpose whatsoever. For example, the cosmetics industry making all sorts of facial paints, nail varnish, perfumes and so on ... for men as well as women. The fashion industry which encourages us to change clothings earlier than we need to and waste materials for no reason at all apart from vanity. The entertainments industry with all their productions of music, films, videos, computer games and so on. All these will have to stop if we are serious about waste and saving the planet.

All sports like car and motorbike racing, and indeed all sports altogether should be stopped. They encourage use of energy, they encourage travel, they encourage purchases of souvenirs and such like useless products which serve no purpose apart from making people happy. People should not be happy. Life is meant to be miserable so that, having saved the planet, the next generation can be equally miserable as us.

At this point my manager woke me up from my reverie by asking me for my views about encouraging industries such as ours to sponsor more wind farms and building more wind turbines both in open spaces, in farms, and also out at sea.

I hesitated ... gulped ... and then said, "I am concerned about building too many wind turbines everywhere in case as they all turn round together the earth might take off and fly to outer space!"

Maybe it was a stupid thing to say. He suggested, politely, we discuss it privately afterwards.

What do you think about this?