Stupid Things People Say

 

I'm amazed at the number of stupid things people say these days. Has stupidity become the current currency and no one told me? If so, I'd be rich and can compete with the best of them.

Here are some examples I heard lately:

On a TV dating program: "I am very spiritual. I believe the Universe will send me the woman of my dreams; the one to spend eternity with."

What does that mean exactly? Will his girl be from out of this world? A Martian maybe? How can he believe the Universe will send him anything? If he thinks the moon will influence his love-life he is on the way to becoming a lunatic.

On another TV program dealing with fashion: "I would like a future husband of mine to dress well. It doesn't matter what he looks like or what he thinks, as long as he dresses well!"

Good choice lady. Your future mate may be a lazy, drunken good for nothing, or of doubtful character and personal values, but as long as he wears the latest designer clothes he'll be the one for you. Have you thought of marrying a T shirt and a pair of jeans instead? Less hassle and they won't cheat on you as long as you have them in the cupboard. 

Here's another good one: "I know nothing about politics but I can debate it with the best of them."

Just great. This self-confessed ignoramus reminds me of a number of politicians I know.

An interview on TV: "I collect rocks because they speak to me. Their vibration affects our moods and our very existence. This rock here for instance would help your memory. Say you have an exam to revise for; the previous night whilst you're revising hold on to this rock in your hand. The next day take it to your exam and you will remember what you studied."

Well, this one surprised me. Personally, I would stay at home and send the rock to sit the exam instead.

On a "relationships" program: "We've been married happily for three years. We have no children. We'd like to experiment in an open relationship with other couples; it will improve our sex life and we learn from other people. I am quite happy to go with another man or another woman too. My husband agrees and is happy to do the same!"

I'm guessing this young couple will not live happily ever after. But then, who am I to know????

*******

The above have been examples of what's been on my TV lately ... apart from dust on the screen. Sometimes the dust is more entertaining.

Is it just me, or is the world moving too fast these days?

Calling all idiots

 

I have come to the conclusion that the world is full of idiots. I also believe that God loves idiots seeing He has created so many of them.

Let me explain. I'm sure, like me, you often see examples of prize idiots in your daily life. People who would do, say or think something that only an idiot would do, say or think.

Here are a few examples.

I was looking on-line for stainless steel oven trays, or roasting dish, as they are sometimes called. I searched various websites and providers and there was a plethora of choices. Almost every one, in the description of the item, warned: USE OVEN GLOVES WHEN REMOVING ITEM FROM OVEN AS IT WILL BE HOT

What idiot, I wonder, needs telling that? One description had a picture of two hands in oven gloves holding the dish; in case you used plastic washing gloves, or boxing gloves perhaps!

On another occasion, whilst looking for a dress, (NOT FOR ME), they had the warning: KEEP AWAY FROM OPEN FIRES 

A packet of peanuts I bought at the supermarket had the warning: MAY CONTAIN NUTS

I know that some people are allergic to various foods, and I feel very sorry for them, it must be a terrible condition to have. I am sure these people are intelligent enough to know the item they are allergic to. Do we have to insult their intelligence by warning them that a packet of peanuts contains nuts?

I also hate it when, on TV or radio, some idiot expert says something that you cannot contradict. By the time you write in, or text, it is too late. The item has been broadcast and your comment thrown in the delete bin.

The other day on TV someone said that the brain, (he didn't seem to have one), is not the only organ to retain memory. Apparently, someone had a heart transplant. The donor was a carpenter. The recipient of the heart, when healed, became a very adept carpenter even though he had never worked with wood before.

What nonsense. For a start, such a claim contradicts the fact that we have a soul and it is the soul that controls our behaviour. A lot of religions believe we have a soul, and the body is only the outer casing which disintegrates in time as the soul lives on. The brain, heart, liver etc ... are only various components of the body. 

That aside, such a statement by a so-called experts will only lead other people to believe it. Presumably, following this logic, if someone gets a liver transplant from someone who was an alcoholic then he too will become an alcoholic. The medical profession should be made aware of this. And should be grateful to me for bringing this fact to their attention.

Another example: A friend went to see the doctor. The doctor gave him some suppositories and said "put one in your back passage every evening before going to bed". Dutifully, the man put a suppository outside by the back door each evening. A few days later the doctor asked him how he was. He replied, "those suppositories were useless. I might as well have put them up my backside for all the good they did!"

I am sure you, my readers, can think of other examples of idiotic behaviour, warnings, comments on TV or social media, or whatever. In fact I wish you'd share them with us in the comments box below. We can prepare a catalogue of idiocy which we can then bury in a time capsule for future generations to dig up an learn about us.

I have a cardboard shoebox which I have labelled "Time Capsule" so all we need now is to fill it with bits of paper recording modern day idiocy.