And in the Bible, Pilate is supposed to have asked, "What is truth?"
I often wonder what is truth, or to be precise, what is reality and what is a figment of our imagination. What if, for instance, you did not really exist? What if you were a character in a book being read by a Teddy Bear? Have you ever thought of this? I haven't; until I wrote it down just now.
The other day on TV they were talking about the weather. Someone said that in some place or other it was the warmest winter since records began.
Now I wonder, when exactly did records begin? Did it happen sometime in the past when someone picked up a piece of paper and
wrote "It is hot today! Records have begun"?
Did he on the next day write "It is hotter today. This is the hottest it's been since records began yesterday"?
People are claiming that
the weather is getting warmer year on year. I believe scientists call
this global warming. There are all sorts of different theories at what is making the climate generally warmer.
I think it's because
of candles. Can you imagine how many candles are lit at any one
time in the world? In churches, in restaurants, at romantic dinner
tables, in the bathroom - I mean; very dangerous in the bathroom if you happen to singe your hair. On
birthday cakes too! All these candles are contributing to global warming.
That and cows breaking wind. It seems that all the gases coming out
of cows float up to the sky and make a hole in the sky through which
the warmth of the earth escapes and the sun rays get in through the hole
in the sky and makes us warm again.
By the way, did you know that kangaroos
don't fart? Their digestive systems don't have the enzymes needed
to cause farting like in cows and humans. No wonder they hop
around so much. So don't blame global warming on kangaroos!
Because
of the warm winter this year our tortoise woke up early and got out of its
hibernation. So I put it in the fridge. The next day I found out it ate
all our lettuce. As soon as I opened the fridge it rushed out in the
garden to go to the toilet.
Apparently, the same thing happened at the local zoo. All the
hibernating animals such as lemurs, squirrels, mice and other rodents
woke up from hibernation because the weather has been so warm lately.
But they did not put them in the fridge because it was full of bears
hibernating.
Tortoises and snails are very slow aren't they. Did you know that if a snail climbed up your leg it would be
at least two days before you said "OOOH !!! What a surprise!"
I'm convinced what the world
needs now is more experts. Whenever there's some bad news on TV, an
economic problem somewhere, a medical situation that needs resolving,
some difficult political situation, or whatever else you might see on
the news - it's the lack of experts that holds us back from finding a
solution. Where are all the experts on every conceivable subject when
you need them? Why can't they explain why it is getting warmer these
days?
If we had more experts then we could all go to sleep happily at night knowing that all is well with the
world and any global warming that may or may not exist can always be
blamed on someone else and not you. Personally, I find the best way to
combat global warming is by keeping our fridge door open.
DISCLAIMER - No animals or
humans have been harmed in the writing of this Blog. No cow or kangaroo
have been forbidden from emitting any bodily gases, nor have any tortoises,
lemurs, squirrels, mice or rodents and bears been put in fridges. Nor snails been made to climb up peoples' legs. Nevertheless, please continue to write in with your comments. I like receiving your mail and answering each one personally ... personally ... personally ... (The AI machine has gone wrong again!).
