Remembrance Day

 Armistice Day and Remembrance Sunday- 11 November

IL SILENZIO

Smiling is a state of mind

 

I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

And I'm thinking, "Who is going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"

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My son asked me what procrastinate means. I said, “I’ll tell you later.”

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My wife called me today while I was at work and said, “Honey, I’ve started to get contractions. I need you to drive to the hospital.”

Forty-five minutes later when I got there, I called her back and asked, “Right I’m here, what do you want me to do now?”

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I walked into the dentist’s and said, “I think I’m a moth.”

The dentist said, “I don’t think you should be here. You need to see a psychiatrist.”

I said, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.”

He said, “What are you doing here then?”

I said, “The light was on.”

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Scientists have finally discovered what women really want.

Trouble is, now they’ve changed their minds … (sorry ladies).

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I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all.

“How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me.

“Nothing” I slurred.

“Look at me!” she shouted, “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought, and said, “It’s you, I can tell by the voice.”

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My computer said I had to change my password. I entered “beefstew”.

My computer said “Sorry password not stroganoff.”

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A lumberjack applies for a job and gets called for an interview.

The interviewer asks him, “So, what experience do you have?”

The lumberjack replies, “Well, I used to work in the Sahara Forest.”

The interviewer is a little taken aback and asks, “The Sahara Forest? Don’t you mean the Sahara Desert?”

The lumberjack says, “Yeah, that’s what they call it now.”

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Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex any more. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

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They say childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience.

Maybe I was too young to remember, but I don’t think it hurt that much.

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So many people these days are too judgemental. I can tell just by looking at them.

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I’ve recently developed a phobia of elevators ….. I’m taking steps to avoid them.

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Bad Luck

 

It was another one of those “Questions and Answers” sessions which were held at the Parish Hall every now and then. The parishioners would gather of an evening and after enjoying hot drinks and cakes they would ask their priests any questions about the running of St Vincent Church or indeed about the Catholic Faith and the priests would answer as best they can.

“Is it a sin to be superstitious Father?” asked a parishioner sitting at the front.

“Well ... I’ve never been known to walk under a black cat!” replied Father Ignatius as everyone laughed.

“You mean walk under a ladder surely?” continued the questioner.

“Yes ... of course you’re right. Some people believe you shouldn’t walk under a ladder. Do you know where this belief comes from Harry?” asked the priest of his questioner.

“No Father ... there are so many superstitions and I wondered if it is a sin to believe them.”

“It may surprise you to know that a lot of superstitions derive from the Christian Faith, believe it or not,” explained Father Ignatius.

“The Holy Trinity was often symbolized in ancient times by a triangle denoting God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

“A self-standing ladder is shaped like a triangle, and so is a ladder leaning against a wall. So to walk through it, or under it, if it is leaning against the wall, was considered walking through the Trinity; which is wrong. And therefore, bad luck.”

“That’s interesting ... I never knew that!” said another young man sitting at the front.

“Personally ... I would advise you never to walk under a ladder,” continued the priest, “especially if there’s someone standing on top with a pot of paint in his hand!”

They laughed again.

“You will have noticed that a number of people touch wood, or knock on wood, when they say something,” Father Ignatius went on.

“Yet again, this originates from Christianity when the Crusaders returned from the Holy Lands with wood which they claimed belonged to the Cross Jesus died on. Apparently, so much wood was brought back that you could have built your own Cathedral!”

“So is it a sin then?” asked Harry once more, “to believe in these superstitions? Or is it harmless fun?”

“Well ... I suppose it could be considered a sin. Although I’ve never had anyone confess it to me,” joked the priest.

“Why Father?” asked someone else, “what’s wrong in saying knock on wood? Or wearing a good luck charm or something like that. God didn’t say it’s a sin did He?”

Father Ignatius paused for a while.

“I’m not so sure about that,” he said, “it says in the Commandments ‘worship no other god but me’ so it could be argued that if we put serious reliance on our superstitious belief then, strictly speaking, we are sinning against God.”

“Wow ... so it’s a mortal sin then?” retorted Harry.

“It could be,” said the priest cautiously, “but let’s not run away with ourselves. We need to ask how much relevance, and how seriously does a person take these beliefs.

“Personally, I wouldn’t consider anyone saying ‘knock on wood’ as having committed a mortal sin, especially if said in jest. But if the individual honestly believed that by touching a piece of wood he has averted evil from happening, then this does become more serious, and yes ... it could be a sin.

“Our Christian Faith teaches us to believe and trust in one living God, Who loves us and cares for us.

“God protects us from many evils every day without our knowledge and beyond our imagination.

“So to seriously believe that touching a piece of wood has the same effect is surely an insult to Him!”

“I understand,” replied Harry.

“I would also like to say something about wearing good luck charms, as someone has just mentioned,” continued Father Ignatius gently.

“Many of us wear a Cross on a chain round our neck, or a medallion of Our Lady or St Patrick. I would like to ask you to consider why you do this. As a reminder of the sacrifice Our Lord did for us ... or as a reminder to pray to Our Lady or the Saints?

“There’s nothing wrong with that of course. As there’s nothing wrong in having statues in church or at home and lighting candles to them.

“But there’s certainly a lot wrong if you believe that the medallion or Cross, or the statue has some mystical or magic power. Be careful, as this is verging on idolatry.”

The silence that followed underlined the seriousness of what Father Ignatius had just said. He hoped to say something to lighten the mood a little when another questioner asked, “I suppose taking horoscopes seriously is also wrong Father?”

“You’re so right Debra ...” replied Father Ignatius.

“There’s absolutely no relationship between the position of the stars and the planets when we’re born, or at any moment in time, and our character or our future. It’s all nonsense ... Except for one thing ...”

He paused for a short while to gain their full attention. “I knew someone who was born under Taurus the bull ... and boy did he smell bad!”

Inspired by Jack

 

My blogging friend JACK posted the other day some photos of his trail walk. Inspired by his photos here are some from a place nearby here.

The area is a nature reserve for birds, fish and many insects and other small creatures such as field mice. Whenever I walk there one can hear the sound of many songbirds in the trees; although I cannot tell what they are - except for the ducks, swans and geese who follow you for something to eat.

Love thy neighbour

 

When Jesus said "love thy neighbour" He did not specify which neighbour we should love. Is it the one living on the left of our house? Or the right? Or the one whose house is opposite in the street or behind our house?

Or indeed the one living five houses down the road from us? Because it is he I am having problems with. 

In my front garden I have put a statue of Superman. It is life-size and made of marble. It has professionally been installed there by professional statue installers. It is on my property. It has been there for about three weeks now. No one has complained.

Except ... the neighbour living five houses down the road. 

At first he wrote me a letter which he put through my letter box. It said that the statue was an eye-sore and should be removed. He did not have the courage to come and speak to me. I ignored the letter.

A few days later he saw me in the front garden as I got home from work. He asked me if I got his letter and I said that I threw it away. He said the statue brought down the tone of the neighbourhood. I pointed out that another house down the road has two lions on either side of their front gate. Another house has a fountain and a statue of a naked woman with water splashing all over her. They are also made of white marble like my statue. Will he object to them too?

He replied that those statues were art. Mine was an eye-sore. It is not classical in design. He added that people often put lions outside their doors, and statues of nudes either ladies or of Michelangelo's David or similar in style. These are considered stylish. Whereas no one has ever put a Superman with his hand raised to the sky and about to fly. 

I politely bid him good day and went in my house. The next day I received a letter from his solicitor threatening to take me to Court for lowering the tone and house prices in my area with my Superman statue. I was asked to remove it at once or they will file a case against me.

I went to see my solicitor. He was not there. Another solicitor was there instead. I had my doubts about him as soon as I saw him.

Instead of having a handkerchief out of the breast pocket of his jacket he had a KFC chicken leg instead. Now I like KFC, but there is a place and time for everything. And putting a chicken leg in your top pocket whilst meeting a client is neither the place nor the time. 

He stood up to greet me and realised he had a packet of French fries potatoes stuck to his bottom. He had obviously left it on the chair and then sat on it. He took it off and put it in his drawer "to eat later" as he said. Apparently, he was not expecting me to come in and was having lunch because he was too busy.

Then he asked me, "Do you know how to spell jurisprudence?"

I shook my head. He said he did not know what it means but it would sound good in a legal letter he was writing.

Eventually, we discussed my case. He advised me to turn the argument or debate away from the statue and side-track it into a discussion as to what is art.

Is Michelangelo's David art? How about a statue of Mickey Mouse? Or how about Rodin's "The Kiss" with a naked man and woman kissing each other? Would it be appropriate to have that in my front garden? What if, instead of Rodin's statue I had a large bigger than life-size painting/mural or photo on my wall of two nude people in that pose? Would my neighbour approve of it or say it is not art?

"Tell him you will remove the statue of Superman with a beard and glasses to make him resemble you, and you will replace it with Rodin's The Thinker. You know the one? A naked man sitting on a toilet," he concluded with a smile.

"What is art?" he asked with a wry grin, "What is truth? What is beauty? What is a KFC chicken leg?"

I left him and wrote a polite letter to my neighbour's solicitor (five houses away) asking him what is art anyway and suggesting that I will remove the statue and replace it with another one of Rodin's Kiss.

He replied the next day saying there is no need to remove my Superman statue.

God's Logic and our logic

 

Harry was a practical man. Pragmatic, calculating and very very logical. He always thought things out thoroughly and his conclusions were logical and well worked out.

One day he asked Father Ignatius if he could spare some time for a chat. The always approachable priest took Harry to his office in the Parish House and after a cup of coffee and biscuits he encouraged him to speak.

“It’s something I’ve had on my mind for years Father,” started Harry, “I’ve never actually confessed it at Confession, which might be a sin in itself I suppose, but it still keeps niggling me at the back of my mind. So I’d assume this chat is a Confession in itself.”

The kindly priest smiled and nodded to encourage him to continue.

“Years ago,” Harry said, “someone hurt me very badly. It totally changed my life, and even today, my circumstances and my life are the result of that person’s action towards me.

“That person then moved on to another town far away and we haven’t seen each other since.

“I believe I have forgiven that person. Truly and honestly forgiven them in the sense that I do not seek any retribution, revenge and nor do I bear any ill will whatsoever towards that person. Even though, as I said, my life is still affected by what that person did. I even pray for that person sometimes, would you believe Father!”

The priest smiled and said nothing.

“But I tell you in all honesty Father,” continued Harry, “I hate that person. I don’t wish that person bad as I said, but I don’t like that person at all. I still get angry at times, thinking at what has been done to me. Even though I forgive again deep in my heart I still hate.

“That person never asked for forgiveness. And the likelihood is that the person doesn’t even care for forgiveness.

“Does my private hate negate … wipe away my forgiveness?”

Father Ignatius said nothing for a while; then, cautiously he said.

“When we forgive, our forgiveness should be total. Without any conditions and given in love.”

Harry interrupted.

“Yes I understand that. And strictly speaking Father I have forgiven totally. But how can I possibly love a person who has totally changed my life for the worse; and that of others too?

“My hatred, as I call it … my anger towards that person … is a private hatred and a private anger within me. The person does not know about it and is not harmed by my personal feelings in any way.

“That person has moved on to another life and doesn’t even care about forgiveness.

“How can a personal feeling, which technically speaking does not harm another person, be considered a sin? Surely God can’t accuse me of harming that person?”

Father Ignatius waited a while and then replied, “You say the person does not know nor cares about your forgiveness, and is therefore not harmed by your private thoughts and feelings towards them.

"But … is your sin against God perhaps. In that your forgiveness is not total since you hold some hatred back?”

“But Father …” Harry continued, “I have done my utmost best to forgive totally in that I wish that person no ill-will whatsoever.

“I just can’t help disliking, and sometimes hating that person.

“Surely God knows how I am made up as a human. He created me and He gave me all these emotions we humans share.

“Dislike and hatred are such emotions. God knows very well that my hate is borne from anger and perhaps unhealed hurt and a sense of injustice within me. God gave me all these feelings and He can’t possibly blame me for reacting naturally to what’s happened to me.

“If my hatred resulted in harm and revenge towards the other person, then I understand it’s wrong.

“But my private hatred hurts no one. Neither that person, nor any one else, knows about it so how can it possibly hurt them or be a sin?

“If anything, the hatred is hurting me as it burns inside me … but I can’t help it. It’s the way I’m made.”

The priest prayed silently for a few seconds. He understood that the man was still hurting badly and yet, Harry used his impeccable logic to reason that his private feelings were no sin towards man or God.

“Let’s look at it another way,” said the priest calmly, “you’re right Harry in saying that your private hatred is not physically or in any other way hurting the other person.

“You’re also right in saying that your hatred is an emotion given to you by your Creator together with all the other emotions we have as human beings.

“But God also gave us the emotion and power to love. In fact Christ told us clearly to love one another; especially our enemies.

“So by hating the other person, however privately, you are denying them your love. You can’t love and hate at the same time. Also, by hurting yourself, as you graphically described the burning inside you, you are sinning in as much as you are self-harming your very being in body and soul. Remember Christ’s commandment to love one another as you love yourself?” ”

“So is it a sin?” Harry interrupted again, “because I can’t help how I feel about this person. No matter how I try. I bear no ill-will as I said, but I just can’t like or love the person as you suggest!”

“I understand …” Father Ignatius said gently, “the world has seen many evil leaders do many evil things over the years. It is not always humanly possible to love them and forgive them as Christ did on the Cross.

“He is God … and we are not.

"But at the very least we should try as best as we possibly can to forgive wholeheartedly, even though, in human terms, our hearts can’t always genuinely love as He commanded.”

Are you Zacchaeus?

 

Standing at the lectern in church, Father Ignatius said, “Today’s Gospel from Luke Chapter 19 verses 1 to 10 tells the story of a very rich senior tax collector named Zacchaeus. He was very short and, having heard about Jesus, was very curious to see Him. Because he could not do so because of the crowd, he ran ahead and climbed a tree in order to see Jesus better.

“Then a strange thing happened. When Jesus reached the tree He told Zacchaeus to come down because He wanted to stay at his house that day.

“In order to understand the significance of this we must remember that in those days, when a new rabbi or religious leader came to town, it was customary for the faithful to invite him to their home to dinner. This also used to be a custom in our church whenever a new priest was posted to a new parish or town. The congregation used to queue up to invite him to dinner. It was a sort of competition as to who had the priest in their home first. I’ve enjoyed many a nice meal this way!”

The congregation laughed. Father Ignatius waited until they settled down and then continued, “What is significant in today’s Gospel is that Jesus invited Himself in Zacchaeus’ house. He did not wait to be invited. He invited Himself.

“I wonder what you would think if I invited myself to lunch at your home today? You’d probably worry that the house is not clean; that you do not have some nice food prepared, or that this or that is not OK and ready to have me visit your homes. Don’t worry. I won’t come to your home today, and I look forward to Mrs Davenport’s lovely Lancashire Hotpot!”

The congregation laughed as the priests’ housekeeper beamed widely.

“What is important here,” continued the priest, “is that Jesus was not really interested in having a meal at Zacchaeus’ house. He invited Himself for two reasons. The first, He knew that the people would grumble that He went to a sinner’s house. The second reason, is that Jesus knew that Zacchaeus was ready for conversion. His heart was ready.

“And sure enough, Zacchaeus promised to give money to the poor and repay those he defrauded.

“Jesus then declared that salvation had come to Zacchaeus’ house, and that He, Jesus, came to seek out and to save the lost.”

Father Ignatius stopped for a moment or two to allow the message to sink home, and then he said, “I wonder if Jesus came to this town today. Would He invite Himself to your home? Would He be preaching to the converted in you, and go elsewhere to someone who has yet to know God and His Son Jesus?

“And how would you feel if He chose your home? Would you feel in total despair that you are a sinner in need of salvation, despite the façade you portray to others?

“Or if Jesus went elsewhere and not to your home; would you feel all proud and smug that you are OK and not in need of Christ’s saving grace?

“You see my friends, today’s Gospel is aimed at us as much as it was relevant to Zacchaeus all those years ago.

“We are all in need of salvation, and the fact that Jesus may have gone elsewhere does not make us more holy or saintly than anyone else. If we are to welcome Him into our souls, we must recognise first and foremost that we are not worthy to have Him under our roof, as the centurion said. But He needs only to say the Word and we will be healed and redeemed of our sins!”