"Are you accusing this Elevator Company of corruption? You are going down!"
"I'm not afraid of your threats. They are like breaking wind in an elevator to me!"
"Breaking wind in an elevator is wrong on so many levels!"
*******
I bought a dog off a blacksmith today. As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
*******
I made a chicken salad today … The ungrateful so-and-so didn’t even eat it.
*******
What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
*******
The final four letters in the word “queue” aren’t silent. They’re just waiting their turn.
*******
The last time I was someone’s type … I was donating blood.
*******
My wife’s such a bad cook she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
*******
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
*******
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
*******
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
*******
My New Year resolution was to read more so now I put the subtitles captions on my TV.
...when you have lost your sense of humor, you've lost everything.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Tom. God bless.
DeleteNo joke..up until a year ago l used a smoke alarm
ReplyDeleteas a timer..had to change it...as it end of use date
was 2010..HeHe! So now l've got three combined
smoke, CO, detectors one in the kitchen, front room,
and top of the stairs, now...none of them go off..! :(
Monopoly...Yes! Wow! I'm a monopoly champ, or
l used to be for a number of years...love the game,
though have'nt played it for a while now..! :(
And..I've still got my original Monopoly game, with
the original price on the box..19/11d...£200 if you pass
goal...! :0).
HeHe! Why did the rabbit cross the road...?
Because it was the chickens day off...!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road..?
To see his 'flat' mate..!
What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
Poultry in motion...!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know, why?
I don’t know—I asked you....!
That's it..best get on..lot's to do..But...
Why did the strawberry cross the road?
There was a traffic jam...!
✨ 💛 ✨ 💛 ✨ 💛 ✨ 💛 ✨ 💛
A great sense of humour, Willie. God bless.
DeleteHahahaha! And now I'm craving chicken salad! Stay cool, my friend.
ReplyDeleteIt's really very hot here today. So hot the chickens are laying boiled eggs.
DeleteGod bless, Mevely.
Thanks for the smiles. This one is true!
ReplyDeleteMy New Year resolution was to read more so now I put the subtitles captions on my TV. TAke care on that side and be safe. Love from our first coast...
It's the only way to read, Jack. Especially long books like Les Miserables, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment and so on.
DeleteBest wishes from all of us. God bless.
LOL, thanks for the laughs, lots of them. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling my friend.
DeleteGod bless, Bill.
LOL...some really good ones there. Particularly like the subtitles on the tv!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you visiting here again, Sandy. Thanx. Invite your friends.
DeleteGod bless always.
Enjoyed your one liners today. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Happyone. God bless.
DeleteAnd , and I did like: The last time I was someone’s type … I was donating blood.
ReplyDelete;-)
It's good to laugh, Jack.
DeleteGod bless.
Heeheehee! Donating blood, that's great, they all are.
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling, Mimi.
DeleteGod bless.
These were so entertaining and funny. Thank you, Victor. Blessings
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling my friend.
DeleteGod bless you, Nells.
Many thanks for the smiles Victor :)
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
Smiles make us happy.
DeleteGod bless, Jan.