TIME FOR REFLECTIONS: More One-Liners

Thursday, 9 June 2022

More One-Liners

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce - Groucho Marx

The punishment for bigamy is two mothers-in-law - Victor S E Moubarak

Marriage: a friendship recognised by the police - Robert Louis Stevenson

The secret of staying young is to lie about your age - Victor S E Moubarak

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure - Ann Onimous.

Penguins don't use a dating app because everyone looks the same - Victor S E Moubarak

A pessimist is someone who when he has a choice of two evils chooses both - Oscar Wilde.

Be a pessimist. If all goes well you'll be happy. If not, you can say "I told you so!" Victor S E Moubarak

I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks - Groucho Marx

As one door shuts, another opens outwards and hits you in the face - Victor S E Moubarak

Is there no beginning to your talents? - Clive Anderson.

Were you born with this nose or did you pick it yourself? - Victor S E Moubarak

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she invulnerable - Ann Onimous

And from whose nose were you picked? - Victor S E Moubarak

Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble! - Ken Dodd

24 comments:

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder9 June 2022 at 02:32
Dearest Victor,
Those are hilarious and very much are yours!
It is good to laugh; need that badly but I'm feeling fine and the sun is shining.
Hugs,
Mariette
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WILLIE...! =(^..^)=9 June 2022 at 03:01
Ken Dodd jokes...
"My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, 'Is this a joke?'"

"I love my girlfriend, my girlfriend loves me. She loves my hair, she loves my eyes, she loves my teeth. She loves my teeth because I'm the only person that can peel an orange through a tennis racket."

"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."

"My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night, saying: 'Well, that taught me a lesson.'"

"Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn's cocktail party? He pulled a mussel."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wft33huUPVk

♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫ ♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫ ♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫
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Tom9 June 2022 at 03:55
...Victor, you are in good company!
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Mevely3179 June 2022 at 07:04
You should write a book! (*or several*) My favorite is the two mothers-in-law.
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Nells Wasilewski9 June 2022 at 10:51
I thought your one liners the best. My tickles for today. Blessings!
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Bill9 June 2022 at 12:58
LOL, funny man you are Victor.
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Lowcarb team member9 June 2022 at 14:36
A fun read Victor, thank you.

All the best Jan
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Kathy G9 June 2022 at 14:48
So nice of you to quote yourself. Isn't there a book by that name? :-)
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messymimi9 June 2022 at 18:51
Heeheehee! There is no beginning to some people's talents, that's certain.
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TIME FOR REFLECTIONS

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UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.

IF ...

Thursday, 9 June 2022

More One-Liners

24 comments: