Love the top one..Good old Moses.. "Sorry Moses, but you can't join Greenpeace..." "...We're a non-prophet organization."
How did Moses split the Red Sea? With a "sea"saw....
A Christian guy named Bill saw an ad online for a Christian horse, so he went to check it out... The horse’s owner said, “It’s easy to ride him. Just say ‘Praise the Lord!’ to make him go and ‘Amen!’ to make him stop.” Bill got on the horse and said, “Praise the Lord!” Sure enough, the horse started to walk. “Praise the Lord!” he said again, and the horse began to trot. “Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!” he yelled, and the horse broke into a gallop... Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn’t notice the cliff he and the horse were about to go over.. Bill shouted “AMEN!” at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff... Relieved, Bill said, “Phew! Praise the Lord!”...! :).
That's exactly the address I used Victor and I did not get notified that it was undeliverable... May 23 and subject was Victor, some more humor. Christian One–Liners
Just read it and I'm HAPPY you got it! Need prayers on Monday morning that I will make it to get on board Delta flight 74 10:10 to New York... Hugs, Mariette
Good ones! That last one reminds me of the first (and only) Roman Catholic funeral I attended. I'd no idea what the burning incense was all about, but no-one else seemed alarmed.
The smoke of incense is symbolic of sanctification and purification. It also symbolizes the prayers of the faithful. It is an outward sign of spiritual realities, which is why it has its place in Christian liturgy.
Let my prayer be counted as incense before thee, and the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice! —Psalm 141:2
Incense has been used in Christian liturgy from its earliest days. In fact, it continued the Jewish tradition that came before it—a tradition that was commanded by God Himself and recorded in Sacred Scripture.
For example, God commanded Moses to make an Altar of Incense for worship in the Tabernacle:
You shall make an altar to burn incense upon; of acacia wood shall you make it . . . And Aaron shall burn fragrant incense on it; every morning when he dresses the lamps he shall burn it, and when Aaron sets up the lamps in the evening, he shall burn it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations. Exodus 30:1-10
I remember as a young boy serving at the Altar I used to love lighting the charcoal and making a lot of smoke with the incense.
Today, we still use incense at Mass in Catholic Churches. Not all Masses ... special ones like Christmas, Easter, Pentecost and so on. Also funerals.
God bless you, Mevely. Thank you for your question. .
The last one reminds me of a true story our pastor tells. He wanted to burn incense as a special occasion at a certain church service back when he was a young, green, new pastor. Being Presbyterian, he didn't have a censer, so he borrowed one, but didn't quite get it all right. He filled the whole church with thick smoke, and it turned out one congregant was allergic and had to be taken to the hospital.
Anyway, it's funny now (even to her), but at the time, wow!
Love the top one..Good old Moses..
ReplyDelete"Sorry Moses, but you can't join Greenpeace..."
"...We're a non-prophet organization."
How did Moses split the Red Sea?
With a "sea"saw....
A Christian guy named Bill saw an ad online for
a Christian horse, so he went to check it out...
The horse’s owner said, “It’s easy to ride him.
Just say ‘Praise the Lord!’ to make him go and
‘Amen!’ to make him stop.”
Bill got on the horse and said, “Praise the Lord!”
Sure enough, the horse started to walk. “Praise
the Lord!” he said again, and the horse began to trot.
“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!” he yelled, and the
horse broke into a gallop...
Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn’t
notice the cliff he and the horse were about to go over..
Bill shouted “AMEN!” at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff...
Relieved, Bill said, “Phew! Praise the Lord!”...! :).
Good one, Willie. About the horse.
DeleteGod bless.
...keep smiling, it's good for you!
ReplyDeleteLet us spread the cheer, Tom.
DeleteGod bless you.
😃
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Sandi.
DeleteThanks for the chuckles.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Kathy.
DeleteThanks for today's smiles. They will go miles with us tomorrow... try to be good.. ;-)
ReplyDeleteMiles and miles of smiles ... that's what the world needs now.
DeleteGod bless, Jack.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteThose are good.
Did you ever receive my email with some humor...?
Hugs,
Mariette
Thanx Mariette. No ... I did not get your email. Must have gone astray.
DeleteMy address is:
enquiries@holyvisions.co.uk
God bless.
That's exactly the address I used Victor and I did not get notified that it was undeliverable... May 23 and subject was Victor, some more humor. Christian One–Liners
DeleteI've checked again, Mariette. I cannot find your e-mail. Wonder what happened.
DeleteGod bless.
Victor, just resend it again! Hoping you get it now...
DeleteGot it. Thanx. I have replied to you.
DeleteGod bless.
Just read it and I'm HAPPY you got it!
DeleteNeed prayers on Monday morning that I will make it to get on board Delta flight 74 10:10 to New York...
Hugs,
Mariette
Praying for your safe travel. Bon voyage.
DeleteGod bless you always my friends.
💞
DeleteMoses and the fishing pole. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteSo glad I made you smile, Linda.
DeleteGod bless.
Good ones! That last one reminds me of the first (and only) Roman Catholic funeral I attended. I'd no idea what the burning incense was all about, but no-one else seemed alarmed.
ReplyDeleteThe smoke of incense is symbolic of sanctification and purification. It also symbolizes the prayers of the faithful. It is an outward sign of spiritual realities, which is why it has its place in Christian liturgy.
DeleteLet my prayer be counted as incense before thee, and the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice!
—Psalm 141:2
Incense has been used in Christian liturgy from its earliest days. In fact, it continued the Jewish tradition that came before it—a tradition that was commanded by God Himself and recorded in Sacred Scripture.
For example, God commanded Moses to make an Altar of Incense for worship in the Tabernacle:
You shall make an altar to burn incense upon; of acacia wood shall you make it . . . And Aaron shall burn fragrant incense on it; every morning when he dresses the lamps he shall burn it, and when Aaron sets up the lamps in the evening, he shall burn it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations.
Exodus 30:1-10
I remember as a young boy serving at the Altar I used to love lighting the charcoal and making a lot of smoke with the incense.
Today, we still use incense at Mass in Catholic Churches. Not all Masses ... special ones like Christmas, Easter, Pentecost and so on. Also funerals.
God bless you, Mevely. Thank you for your question.
.
I like the man and the directions!! :)
ReplyDeleteMen never ask for directions. I know I don't. That's why it takes me ages to get somewhere. I call it enjoying the travel.
DeleteGod bless, Happyone.
Heeheehee!
ReplyDeleteThe last one reminds me of a true story our pastor tells. He wanted to burn incense as a special occasion at a certain church service back when he was a young, green, new pastor. Being Presbyterian, he didn't have a censer, so he borrowed one, but didn't quite get it all right. He filled the whole church with thick smoke, and it turned out one congregant was allergic and had to be taken to the hospital.
Anyway, it's funny now (even to her), but at the time, wow!
I know what you mean, Mimi. I used to love making a lot of smoke with the incense when an Altar server.
DeleteGod bless.