Monday 28 November 2022

Sur le Pont d'Avignon

 

Sur le Pont d'Avignon
L'on y danse, l'on y danse

Meaning: On the Avignon bridge people dance.

There I was on the bridge dancing, as it were, when I got too near to the balustrade and fell over into the river.

Now I hasten to add that it may or may not have been the actual bridge of which this song refers. Suffice it to say that I was dancing on a bridge and fell into the river.

Normally, as I fell, my whole life would have flashed in front of me. But this did not happen on this occasion because the fall from the bridge into the water below lasted three or four seconds at the most. Too short a time for one's life to flash in front of one's eyes. 

My first thoughts as I plunged into the cold and dark water below were my mortal fear of being attacked by a shark. Once again, I hasten to add, that at that particular time, I did not know whether the river in Avignon does contain sharks or not. When I panic, I panic big time and I had no means of checking.

I started shouting, "HELP ... HELP ... HEEEELP !!!"

Almost immediately, ten minutes later, three locals appeared on the bridge. One of them said to the two others, "Wot eez zees ELP E eez ze speaking about?"

I did not know whether it was a French or German accent. Or it could have been any other accent. When you're drowning all accents sound the same.

I searched my pocket for the English to French dictionary but it was all wet and of no use. At that point one of the three locals pulled out of his pocket a French to English dictionary and said, "Allo Monsieur ... c'est interdit ... not allowed ... four bitten for you to do zee swimming in ze ri ... ver!"

"I am not doing ze swimming," I said imitating his accent, "I am being afraid of ze shark!"

Have you noticed that when you speak to foreigners you tend to imitate their accent almost without intention. It's as if we subconsciously feel that by imitating their accent they will understand us better.

So I told him in English French that I was terrified of sharks.

"Wot eez eet ze shark?" replied the local after a few minutes having consulted his dictionary.

"Eet eez a biiig fish!" I shouted back in a French accent whilst trying to remain afloat.

"Oh non Monsieur," he replied, "eet eez also ze four bitten to do zee fishing wizout zee licence ... you 'ave zee licence, Monsieur?"

I did not reply because at that point I went under the water for a few seconds. All three of them jumped in and fished me out. I don't know whether they had a licence for this or not.

"You are sa ... ved!" said one of them, "sa ... ved from zee ri ... ver in Avignon!"

I thanked them by saying "merci" several times and one of them offered me his coat to keep me warm.

"Bienvenu to Avignon," said one of them welcoming me to his town.

The other then said, "Good you not do zee fall in zee ri ... ver in Paris. Zis would bee insane!"

17 comments:

  1. ...sadly God didn't give me the dancing gene!

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  2. Dearest Victor,
    Well, why dance on a bridge—not a smooth flooring for making such moves... Haha and then falling off the bridge.
    That is devastating indeed!
    But I've never ever been tempted to imitate (or mock) anyone's accent. Just trying to speak as clearly as possible the way I got taught.
    Got at least lots of compliments for being a 'good' lay reader.
    Well, that has been our profession for decades to educate others and that in several languages.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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  3. Ta-da .... that's a cute parting shot! Like Tom, I'm grateful not be a dancer. These days it's all I can do not to trip over my own feet.

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    1. I'm not a good dancer either, Mevely, because of my big feet. I learnt to ballet dance. Whenever I stood on tiptoe my head hit the ceiling.

      God bless.

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  4. I have enough to concentrate on when I'm walking never mind dancing. I believe my dancing days are way in the past. :)

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    1. I learnt to dance in water. I was a member of the Solo Synchronised Swimming Team. I self-taught from a book, but it got wet and the pages stuck together.

      God bless, Bill.

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  5. Believe it or not, I remember singing that song in my high school French class, Victor! Hadn't thought of it ever since just now. Watch out for those bridges, Victor!
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes, it was a first step to learning French in our school. That and Frere Jacques. I did not help me when in France. I wanted to ask for direction and I sang Frere Jacques.

      God bless, Martha.

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  6. Water has so many good and healing properties, inside and out. That was a lovely story.

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  7. I'm just glad you're still here to tell the story.

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    Replies
    1. Just to tell people not to dance on bridges.

      God bless, Mimi.

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