Thursday, 15 November 2018

Nun of your business

I had a most odd encounter yesterday. It was a beautiful, sunny, somewhat warm day. A bit unusual for this time of year. I sat in the park in town reading my newspaper. A few minutes later a nun came and sat on the bench near me. She was in her early fifties, I would say. She opened a lunch-box and started nibbling at her sandwich. A bit odd, I thought, a nun with a lunch box.

A moment or two later she said, "The highway to Heaven is paved with good intentions!"

"Yes," I replied with a smile, "I suppose it is."

She continued eating her lunch and then said, "It will be a glorious day when we get to meet St Peter face to face!"

I stopped reading the article about the increasing price of frying pans and said, "Yes ... I guess it will be a great day!"

She coyly sipped a drink from her thermos flask and then, hesitating, she said, "The angels in Heaven are glad they found the lost sheep!"

It was obvious now was not the time for me to discover why frying pans are so expensive. I looked up from my paper and replied politely, "I guess you're right. Although I doubt there are any animals in Heaven. I would hate to meet the Sunday roast telling me off for having eaten it!"

She looked puzzled. Hesitated again, and then asked, "Are you known as Fire Balls?"

What a cheek, I thought. It is none of her business what I am called in the privacy of my own home. I mean ... for a nun to be so direct and so personal. The Catholic Church has certainly changed from the days when I was young.

She noticed my subdued, hidden anger, silent reaction and then apologised saying, "You do look like Fire Balls. The picture I have got is all creased and you do have a lot of wrinkles on your face; a bit like a bed that's been slept in!"

I was fuming yet retained my composure. What business is it of her what the state of my bed is in and what I am called in it? I would have liked to have answered something intelligent, pointed and articulate but I did not have my dictionary with me at the time.

Before I said anything, she got up and left.

I hate it when people walk away with the last word. Not giving me a chance to respond.

"My face is wrinkly is it?" I thought to myself, "well ... your sandwiches still had the crust on!" Whatever that means ... but at least my mind had composed an answer albeit I never said it.

22 comments:

  1. Just about how long were you sitting in that warm sunshine that made you fall into a dream state "Fire Balls"!
    Didn't your mother ever warn you that the sun causes wrinkles :)

    Blessings 💮

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wrinkles in my Fire Balls? What are you saying Jan?

      I was reading my paper peacefully when this nun came and sat next to me with all her stupid questions.

      God bless you.

      Delete
    2. You're just upset because she didn't offer to share her lunch with you.
      I am of the opinion that "Fire Balls" was a code word and that she wasn't really a Nun at all...nor a female. Hmmmm...a secret agent of some sort. You were just sitting on the wrong bench at the wrong time ;)

      Delete
    3. You mean she works for Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson)???

      I did not check whether she was a man. How could I? I could not see her Adam's Apple.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. There is something about Nuns. If a joke falls flat, just tell it over with a Nun as the foil, it always gets a laugh.

    My first encounter with a Nun, my neighbor Danny Tully told me his Aunt the Sister was coming for dinner. Had me confused for a week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true, JoeH. Any story starting with a nun is bound to be funny.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. It's hard to have the last word with a nun, is it not? I know I wouldn't feel good about talking back to one, but as always, your predicaments evoke a good chuckle.
    Blessings, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not quite sure who she was or what she wanted, Martha. Maybe she was meeting someone from those dating agencies, do you think? And she mistook me for the man in her photo. Do nuns go to dating agencies, Martha?

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. So there!
    Thanks for the smile, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right Chris. How rude was that nun?

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. Is this what they call a "new age" nun these days. :)
    Thanks for the happy smile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure what kind of nun she was, and her age was not so new either. She had wrinkles on her face you know.

      God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  6. I think her coif and wimple might have been just a tad too tight!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. No animals in Heaven? Pray, tell me that's not so!
    Yep, sounds like secret agent code to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you think there are wasps in Heaven, Mevely? And mosquitoes too?

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  8. So did you ever discover why the cost of frying pans are on the rise? : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually Happyone, I never got to finishing reading that article. I was so angry she said I had a face like a bed that's been slept in.

      God bless you always.

      Delete

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