Tuesday 12 March 2019

A Banana Stole My Bicycle

In town there is a pedestrianised street to allow people to shop and sight-see away from any vehicles and cycles. There are bollards at either end of the street to stop any vehicles from entering and signs asking cyclists to dismount whilst going through.

I leant my bicycle against one of those bollards and walked six feet or so towards the newspaper kiosk to buy a paper.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a banana appeared, rode my bike and cycled at speed up the pedestrianised street.

I chased after it to the shouts of the paper vendor screaming: "Hey ... come back ... you haven't paid for your paper!"

The vendor's assistant got out of the kiosk and chased after me.

There we were ... banana on a bicycle chased by me being chased by the paper assistant. At one stage I believe a small dog got away from its owner and chased after us too barking like mad.

The shoppers moved aside like the parting of the Red Sea for Moses and let us run down the middle of the street. What a sight it was ... chasing a banana on a bicycle!

I suspect the public thought it was some "flash mob" type stunt; so they stopped to see what would happen next. At the time I was wearing my usual green cowboy hat with a feather on the side, turquoise shirt and red tartan trousers. I heard someone say: "It's a Candid Camera stunt! Look how this idiot is dressed!"

I could have stopped and took umbrage at being called an idiot; but my desire to recover my bicycle exceeded my taking offence at the insult. So I kept running as fast as my little legs and rotund figure could manage.

I nearly caught up with the cycling banana and at one stage almost caught him ... her ... it ... What gender is a banana anyway? But it was too slippery and gave me the slip.

Eventually I ran out of stamina or energy or whatever it is people run out of when they can run no more. I stopped; huffing and puffing and struggling for breath.

The paper boy caught up with me and started arguing. A policeman appeared out of nowhere. I tried to explain that a banana stole my bicycle. The policeman asked me if I'd been drinking and why I was dressed as a clown. The paper boy accused me of stealing a newspaper, which technically was correct, although there were proper extenuating circumstances.

As we were all talking at the same time and no one was listening there was a voice over a loudspeaker booming "Cut ... cut ..."

We looked round and there was a small crowd of people with cameras, lights, microphones and all the paraphernalia used when shooting a film. The public watching all this suddenly started applauding and whistling their appreciation.

Apparently, some film crew were making a short TV commercial for a new fruit shop which opens shortly in town. The banana man was meant to pick up a bike from the bollard point and cycle up the street to introduce the advert. He inadvertently took my cycle by mistake, and my chasing after him ruined the whole shoot.

I paid the paper boy and got my bicycle back.

The icing on the un-wanted cake was when a small group of people asked me for my autograph thinking I was part of the whole ridiculous show.

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18 comments:

  1. I was visualizing the entire escapade through your colorful words, Victor!! Always entertaining!!

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    1. It's good to be entertained here, Terri. Tell others about it.

      God bless you and yours.

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  2. A funny story, Victor. Your life is full of interesting happenings. A very talented person you are. I will send the link to some people I know and hope to help you increase your audience.
    Have a lovely evening!

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    1. How very kind of you, Bill. Thank you so much. I write humourous stories in the hope of attracting new readers who may venture to read my other Christian articles.

      God bless you always.

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  3. Funny! I hope you were awarded a royalty for your (unintentional) cameo appearance!

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    1. No not really ... I was told to take my bicycle and go away.

      God bless you, Mevely.

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  4. This story is so "appeeling," Victor - lol! Love how it turned out to be a commercial shoot. Hope you gave out your autograph; that would be a perfect excuse to let others know about your books.
    Blessings!

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    1. I gave one or two autographs, Martha, but most people did not know who I was. What is it they say about a genius is not appreciated in his own land? I am not appreciated anywhere!

      God bless you.

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  5. I'm never sure where your reality stops and imagination cuts in...always entertaining.

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    1. I have difficulty with that myself, JoeH. In fact I'm not sure if it is me writing all this or whether I am imagining that I am writing it.

      God bless you, my friend.

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  6. Sounds like you enjoyed your 15 minutes of fame, Victor :)
    May I have your autograph?

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    1. I wish I was famous to deserve giving autographs, Chris.

      God bless you always.

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  7. I did enjoy your story here Victor, thank you.

    All the best Jan

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