Saturday, 2 March 2019
Stupid Street Names
I hate it when Local Authorities name streets the most stupid of names you can't remember; or name a whole area with the same theme. Let me explain. There's an area in our town where all the streets are named after birds - Robin Road, Eagle Street, Pigeon Crescent, Dove Street etc ... fairly easy to remember, I think.
There is also another area where all the streets are named after trees, for some reason or other.
Anyway, I was out there the other day walking the dog when I met an old friend. We stopped and chatted for a while. Suddenly he grasped his chest and fell to the ground. I quickly phoned for an ambulance on my cell-phone.
The operator asked me: "Where are you?"
I replied: "Laburnum Avenue."
She said: "Can you spell it so I can enter it on my computer?"
How could I spell laburnum? I don't carry a dictionary in my pocket. And there was nowhere a street sign I could read it from. I repeated again and again "Laburnum Avenue ... Lab ur num ... I think ... Laburnum ..." but this did not help.
In desperation, I grabbed my friend by his jacket, dragged him all the way down the street, he was heavy I tell you, and phoned again the woman and said: "I am in Oak Street. O-A-K ... Oak Street."
The man died by the time the ambulance arrived.
Now the Authorities want to know whether he died in Laburnum Avenue or Oak Street.
I told them he died on the sidewalk. But this is not good enough apparently.
What do you think?