Wednesday, 27 March 2019
Nothing Makes Sense
Let me give you some examples. For years people have been known to love a drink or two. I like a drop of whisky, and also Guinness every now and then. People also like ice cream. My favourite is chocolate flavoured. There's nothing wrong with liking a drink or ice cream or whatever foods you prefer. The other day in the supermarket I discovered Gin and Tonic ice cream. There were other drinks too. I don't mean G and T flavour but actual gin in it. It even had a warning not to be sold to under 18s and it stated on the packet the amount of alcohol in it.
I asked myself why? But as I was the only one around I did not answer myself.
Why would someone want to have an ice cream at home with alcohol in it? And if this is your particular weakness, why not buy ordinary ice cream and pour whatever drink you wish on it?
And another thing. Many people around here have hanging baskets outside their homes, one on each side of the front door, in which they plant things like fuchsias, daisies and so on. They look lovely. Now you can buy ready made hanging baskets with plastic plants and flowers you don't need to water or look after. What is the point of that? Why not have plastic lawn in your garden with plastic trees, bushes, hedgehogs, birds and whatever else you wish; like plastic fish in your pond? Better still, why not concrete the whole area and have a large picture of a garden all around the fence marking your territory?
When I was growing up shopping was a little easier. You went to the butcher for meat, the greengrocer for fruit and vegetables, the stationers for pens and papers and envelopes and so on. You get the idea. Now with supermarkets you get everything under one roof. As well as your food you can buy electric appliances like toasters and kettles, (our supermarket even sells fridges and washing machines), and some supermarkets have their own bank and can give you a loan, or a credit card. What's all that about? Is it progress or are we putting small traders out of business?
The other day I went to the optician. He always likes to sell me some new glasses, (after cutting my hair). He suggested reading glasses for downstairs when reading the newspapers; and another pair by the bedside when reading my tablet or a book. The other day he suggested a new kind of purchase.
"Would you like some new glasses?" he said, as he finished trimming my beard.
"I already have enough glasses," I replied.
"These are different," he interrupted. "These are glasses you can drink from. We have a new line in whisky glasses, wine glasses, champagne flutes, and whatever else you like." And indeed he had. He had started a new line of business playing on the word glasses. I ended up buying a couple of beer mugs to pacify him.
So there you have it. My cell phone takes photos, and every time it rings I press the wrong button and take a picture of my ear. The car talks to me and tells me I have left a door open. And my old friend whom I visit at home had a suppository in her ear. When I told her about it she wondered where she had put her hearing aid.
Nothing makes sense any more.