Thursday 20 February 2020

The dangers of hypnosis in a sophisticated self-assured modern society


Ah ... I knew the title to this article would spark your interest. But let me explain that this is a serious issue which affects many people in this modern society of ours. You may think that hypnotism and hypnosis are to do with the mind; and you'd be right. But I thought it's all to do with the hips really. Especially if you go to the wrong doctor. As I did.

I went to this man whom I thought dealt with hips because I'd had a minor accident which made it difficult to walk properly. I had accidentally taken the cat for a walk instead of the dog and I fell off a tree. I landed on my backside and may have hurt my hip. So off to the hypnotist I went.

He sent me to the hospital for some X rays. The photo showed me full of bones which I confess I do not recall ever eating.

I went back to the hypnotist, who apparently was in fact a psychiatrist, rather than a hypnotist as such. He used hypnosis as part of his treatment for certain conditions. Anyway, he said he'd discussed the X- rays with the hospital and there was nothing wrong with me except some bruising which will heal in time. He added that if I was a bit more "weighty" my bigger backside would have cushioned me from any pain.

I discussed with him how I am very careful with what I eat, and how I fear putting on weight. He asked me to lie on his couch. I asked him why, fearing this was serious. He replied: "Our cleaner did not turn up today, and I'd like to vacuum clean where you're standing whilst you're talking!"

When he finished cleaning the room he suggested he hypnotises me to discover my fear of eating. I laid back on the couch and pretty soon I was fast asleep.

I don't know what he told me, but he must have been very persuasive, because when he woke me up I had eaten half his couch.

He wanted to charge me for the damaged couch; but I complained that it was his fault. He may have persuaded me to find an appetite; but did he need a leather couch knowing I was a vegetarian? I said I'd sue him for feeding me a wrong diet.

We agreed that if I paid for half the damage to the couch he'd give me another psychiatric session for free.

I told him I have this terrible fear of heights. Even putting my socks on makes me dizzy with vertigo. He suggested I wash my socks more often.

Anyway, he got me to lay down on now half a couch and hypnotised me again. When I woke up I was on top of the wardrobe.

He told me to get down. But I wouldn't because I now enjoyed seeing things from higher up.

He shook the wardrobe and brought me down to earth. I paid him and left.

Let this be a warning to all of you - a hypnotist has nothing to do with hips; unless yours is afraid of heights!

16 comments:

  1. I don't think my hypnotist is afraid of heights. I'll have to ask him. 😺

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    1. My hypnotist knew nothing about hips. He said he does not deal with hips. What a waste of a good education.

      Ask yours if he treats hips.

      God bless CJ.

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  2. That explains a lot.... I'll make an appointment.

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    1. Does your hip hurt too, Ryan? Don't go to a hypnotist if I were you. A hippopotamus might be better for hips treatment.

      God bless.

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  3. Do you get a lot of headaches or dizziness Victor?
    I know that I would if my mind kept spinning and playing with words as your mind does.
    No wonder you keep falling out of trees and eating leather couches but you do tickle a lot of funny bones in your readers :)

    God Bless 💮

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    1. No Jan. No headaches or dizziness. But plenty of ideas for writings and humourous anecdotes come to mind from nowhere - sometimes so fast I don't remember them soon afterwards. I have to jot them down quick if I can. Words just trigger stories or jokes in my head. I am so glad if the results make someone smile. Hence my humourous books. Some are FREE from my website.

      Thanx Jan and God bless always.

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  4. All I can say is "Hip-Hip Hooray!" Victor, rest assured that God has blessed you with an overly fertile imagination and a unique sense of humor. :)
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes I Like it ... Hip Hip Hooray. Thank you Martha, so glad you cheered at this post.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. And tagging on Martha Jane's comment … we're the lucky recipients! Wish I might develop a fear of eating!

    PS - That 'toon' psychiatrist bears a striking resemblance to your profile picture … any relation, perhaps?

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    1. I never noticed the similarity. Yes, he does look like my profile picture. How odd. No ... no relation.

      God bless, Mevely. Keep smiling.

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  6. I have too much will power to allow myself to be hypnotized. People have tried but with effect. Buck buck bawk, buck buck bawk. It is futile for anyone to even try to Buck buck bawk, buck buck bawk hypnotize me.

    Thanks for the laughs!

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    1. That's brilliant ... and it explains my fear of hypnotists. I never know what they might change me into whilst I'm hypnotised.

      God bless you, JoeH.

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  7. "Ah ... I knew the title to this article would spark your interest."

    You betcha, and you didn't disappoint. You should have taken the cat with you to the hypnotist and see what would happen. ;)

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    1. Oh yes ... the cat ... that would have been interesting. Can you hypnotise a cat? Or does a cat hypnotise a mouse before it catches it?

      Great to see you visiting again, Manny. Thanx. God bless you.

      Delete
  8. Thanks, i will make sure my hypnotist doesn't have a wardrobe in the office, i don't need to fall from that height.

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    1. It certainly cured me of my fear of heights though.

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete

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