Saturday 21 November 2020

VICTOR - Motivational Speaker

 

Hello folks and welcome to "Make Me A New Person" the most popular session in our motivational talks for enlightened and visionary people who want to start afresh in life and rise to bigger and better things.

The most important thing in life is to focus. Focus on who you are. What you are. And whatever else you want to be or do in life. Like the eagle who soars in the skies and can focus on his prey down below; you too should and could do the same. If only you could fly, and you liked eating pigeons, rabbits, snakes, rats and other vermin. 

So before you focus on being an eagle, think like an eagle. Ask yourself, do you like ratatouille? Or pigeon pie? And would you eat a dead rabbit covered in maggots? If not, then you need to change.

Yes my friends, we all need to change if we are to go ahead. We can start with our vests and underpants. When is the last time you changed yours? Be honest now. Remember, honesty is the best policy; but not when confiding in your spouse or girl-friend. Remember our motto:  

Say it with flowers
And chocolates too

Say it with jewellery

Or a good meal for two
Say it from the heart

Say what you think

But never be careless

And say it with ink

Right, we covered focussing, and changing who we are, and honesty. This is good stuff folks. It's what made me who I am today.

The next thing to consider is looking back. Never ever look back when you're moving forwards in life. I learnt this lesson the hard way when I walked into a lamp post, fell down the stairs, and on one occasion met the mother-in-law down a dark alley at night. 

Another thing to remember in life is perseverance. This means a persistent attitude to doing something despite setbacks and apparent failures. Well, my advice is, if at first you don't succeed suck something else instead. Sorry ... that was from another lecture I gave on throat lozenges.

Here's the right quote. If at first you don't succeed just give up. It is no point spending precious time and money doing something that will most probably not work anyway. Have the foresight of realising your failings and get on with doing something else instead. 

Look at me ... when I was at school I had failure written all over me. The other kids did it with their ball point pens. My teachers however said that I'd go down in history ... and geography, maths, science and practically everything else.

Did it worry me? No ... I forged on ahead and fulfilled their vision of me and became who I am. And in doing so I saved a lot of time and money trying something I'd fail at anyway. 

So, the lesson from this is - know your failures. It is no point cooking a lobster thermidor if you don't have any thermidors in the house. Just open a tin of sardines instead.

On which point, be like a sardine. Get yourself into your tin and leave the key outside. Sooner or later someone will open up and let you out.

Metaphorically speaking that is. What I mean is, do as little as possible in life. Make it obvious that you are not doing so well. Pretty soon some kind soul will have pity on you and help you anyway.

Either that, or marry Rich!

22 comments:

  1. Love this! I married poor three times does that mean I'm a failure marriage or a failure in picking husband

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    1. It means you are a lovely person that three men wanted to marry you.

      God bless, Sandra.

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  2. ...to be honest, I have no interest in being make a new person. I stick with what I am.

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    1. Good point Tom ... but a good motivational talk all the same.

      God bless.

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  3. You can count on me to do as little as possible!

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    1. That's the life. You're already successful, Brian.

      God bless.

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  4. At last, an honest motivational speaker! Love this, Victor -- especially the one about, "If at first you don't succeed...." Who needs that kind of rejection?

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    1. I've never believed in the try and try again thing. What is the point? I still cannot hang upside down from a hammock. I keep falling off and hitting my head on the floor.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  5. You can do want you want anytime. If you fail, the good news is you get a new day to try again. The brand new days are infinite so you should think of something different or else you'll be stuck in the same place as the day before. :)

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    1. I understand, Bill. But trying again and again can be so tiring. Why not try something new instead?

      God bless always.

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  6. I'm not sure this motivational talk if for me, Victor, but it sure was funny!
    Blessings!

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    1. I was being very serious, Martha. Honest I was.

      God bless.

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  7. The smart thing is once you have given it your all, knowing when to give up.

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  8. Dearest Victor,
    This had so many honest elements in it, that way too often are being used and wrapped around with way too many words! When we grew up, there were no motivational talks! Well, motivational would be a kick in the a** from your Dad and that worked very convincingly - all the time.
    Loved your phrase: My teachers however said that I'd go down in history ... and geography, maths, science and practically everything else. What a prophecy!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. Indeed it was a prophesy. In a lifetime I have achieved nothing.

      God bless you and yours, Mariette.

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    2. Not true, you're an excellent communicator! 🖋

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    3. Thank you so much for your kindness, Mariette.

      God bless you and yours.

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  9. Interesting perspective. I agree that banging your head against a brick wall is not too intelligent. When you have given it your best, it is better to give it up if you are still failing at it. I always wanted to be beautiful, but after many attempts to make it happen....well everyone knows how that turned out. Seriously, I think the point here is to encourage each other. A teacher can do long term damage by telling someone they will go down. How about finding something they do well and focus on that? Many lessons to contemplate here. God bless you.

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    1. I am so glad you enjoyed my (lack of) wisdom, Nells. I used to dislike all those motivational talks we had at work. A lot of them only repeated the obvious.

      God bless always.

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  10. Nice motivation, but my get up and go just got up and went somewhere, and i can't seem to find it. Funny poem!

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    1. Yes, I know that feeling very well, Mimi. Everything can be procrastinated to tomorrow; if only I knew how to spell procrastinated. So glad you liked my poem.

      God bless.

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