Friday 15 January 2021

Mistaken Identity

 

Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? A celebrity perhaps? An actor or singer? Tell us about it.

Some years ago I was at a coffee bar in London. I remember the man serving behind the counter. He'd had a charisma transplant. I mean he had all charisma taken away from him. Hardly the sort of person you'd put at front of shop meeting customers.

Anyway, I was sitting there with my latte coffee when I was approached by two young ladies. They were French, judging by their accents. They could have been Belgian or any other nationality for all I knew. But they had a French accent.

"Excuse moi ... me ..." said the first one, "you are being zee actor from zee America TV show Friends? N'est ce pas?"

I awoke from my daydream and mumbled, "Hein?"

"You are Jennifer Aniston!" she declared. 

Now I can assure you that I do not look one bit like a woman. Whether it is Jennifer Aniston or anyone else. For a start I have a beard.

I was about to say something when the young lady interrupted me by adding, "my friend 'ere ... she says you not Jennifer Aniston ... you is Gregory Peck. Zee man from zee film Magnum who is friends wiz Monica Geller!"

Well, to cut a long story short, I spoke to them in perfect French and put them right. I told them I was the man who plays the gorilla in the film King Kong, and that I was on my way to an audition for the part of a dinosaur in the latest version of Jurassic Park. 

They believed me and got my autograph!

The other day, the same thing happened again.

I went to see the doctor to check up on my sense of humour. As I entered the Insulting Room I said, "Morning doctor ... you must be new here. Not the usual doctor I always see".

"I am not the doctor," he said, "I am the painter, as you can tell from my paint stained clothes, the pots of paint, and the brushes".

"Why are you in the doctor's office?" I asked.

He was rather irritated. Probably related to the coffee bar worker in London from all those years ago.

"Because the butcher, the baker and the candle-stick maker do not want their premises painted," he said with total lack of charisma and a personality as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

"But ... but ... I have come to see the doctor!" I mumbled.

"You won't see him today," he growled, "he is sick!"

"Oh dear ..." I sympathised, "I hope it's not serious!"

"That's a blue herring," he replied picking up a pot of blue paint.

"Actually, it is a red herring!" I corrected him, "not blue."

He looked at the pot of paint in his hand, which confirmed it was blue. He shook his head and said nothing.

I ventured a question, "Do you have a relative who works in a coffee bar in London?" I asked.

He replied, "Coffee is not everyone's cup of tea!"

23 comments:

  1. Oh my!! I keep thinking about our words and I laugh again!! This will haunt me all day!!! Thank you for the bright light in this day!! Have a grand weekend!

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    1. It's great to know I made you laugh, Cathy. Wishing you a brilliant weekend.

      God bless always.

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  2. ...this has never happened to me, but of course I don't drink coffee.

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    1. I'll keep away from coffee houses from now on, Tom. I don't like coffee that much. I just go there to get noticed.

      God bless you my friend.

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  3. Fart in a spacesuit .... BAHAHAHAHA! But my favorite is the charisma transplant. I've never been quick with a timely witticism, but THAT I'm going to remember.

    PS - PB & J's every American mother's standard fare: A peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. Update coming this afternoon!

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    1. I'm so pleased you liked my quotable quotes, Mevely. I'd heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; but not the abbreviation PB & J. I have peanut butter and then I put some raisins too in the sandwich. I saw Detective Colombo do that on TV some years back.

      God bless.

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  4. "As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit . . ." Love that line, Victor! I know my ten-year-old granddaughter would get a laugh out of that, too.
    Blessings!

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    1. It's good to spread the laughter around. I bet your granddaughter will enjoy the joke.

      God bless you and yours, Martha

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  5. "As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit". That was a stinking funny line, Victor. :) You come up with these incredible funny lines. A good evening to you, my friend.

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    1. I am so glad I brought a smile to your face my friend. Have a great evening and weekend.

      God bless, Bill.

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  6. Too funny! Our Dad gets mistaken for a celebrity every once in a while, pretty funny.

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    1. It's good to know I'm not the only one.

      God bless, Brian.

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  7. When I was much, much, much younger, I was mistaken for Olivia Newton John on several occasions. It was most likely the headband and the feather on it, as that carried more resemblance to her than I did.
    God bless.

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    1. I remember her. Great singer. How great to be mistaken for her.

      God bless, Nells.

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  8. The guy who plays "Dude" in "The Big Labowski" which I have not seen.

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    1. Have you ever been asked for an autograph, Dude?

      God bless.

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  9. I got a good chuckle out of the fart in a spacesuit too. :)

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    1. It's good I made you chuckle, Happyone.

      God bless you.

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  10. Dearest Victor,
    Yes, at certain times, people can react very funny or strange for that matter!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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  11. Your sense of humor seems to be in fine shape to me, but i'm not a professional shape checker.

    Have a blessed and beautiful day!

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    1. I'm so pleased you like my humour, Mimi. Thanx.

      God bless you.

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