Seeing it is St Valentine's Day I thought I'd write a romantic novel for a change. Something nice that pulls at the heart strings and will survive the passage of time and stand out there in the world of literature as a great monument to love, loyalty, passion and ... well, whatever!
Here are a short few lines I have written so far. Tell me what you think.
They stood there holding hands watching the sun go down as the waves lapped the shores beneath them. A light breeze from the East blew her blonde hairs softly. He ran to fetch them as they entangled in the bushes.
She put her wig back on and whispered softly, "let us go upstairs and turn out the light and unite in our thoughts of love".
"But the ships rely on our bright lights," said the lighthouse keeper.
"Take me in your arms," she breathed lightly, "lift me, carry me, take me to our love nest my darling!"
"What? All the way to the top of the lighthouse?" he said rubbing the small of his back to soothe away the pain.
She bit her lips delicately to hide her disappointment. "I think our relationship is on the rocks!" she said, wiping a tear.
"That's inevitable," he replied, "seeing we are by the lighthouse".
Just then the air turned sour and somewhat toxic on a love that was not to be.
"Och aye, ye ken," he said in his broad Scottish accent, "I see the tide has brought in some rotten fish once again!"
So ... what do you think? Is it a bit too romantic? Or will it be memorable like all the other great works?
I also thought of writing another novel at the same time. This one is an adventure with a Super Hero who can do all sorts of things that no other hero in history can do. For example, he can disguise himself as a table. One moment he is a man, the next he is a table. In a restaurant perhaps, or a house, or a manor. Whilst people are eating from on top of him he is listening to their conversations and evil plots to conquer the world.
He can use his super powers to smell round corners. He can control time by ten seconds before something happens. For example, he would say, "Bless you!" before someone sneezes. He can eat the hottest chilli con carne even though he is a vegetarian.
His name is: SUPERHERO
Here is what I have written so far. Let me know what you think.
Hello ... Hello ... Is that Superhero?
Yes it is. What can I do for you?
HELP ... HELP ... I am hanging on by my finger nails at the edge of a cliff. I can hold on no longer. If I fall I shall surely die. HEEEELP !!!!!
Let me take some details. What is your name? And where are you exactly? Damn, my pencil broke ... hold on ... got another one. Where are you caller?
I don't know where I am exactly. My speed boat was caught up in a hurricane, I flew in the air and landed on top of this cliff. I got thrown out of the boat and only managed to hold on to the edge by my finger nails. I don't want to die. Help me. Can't you use your super powers to hear where I'm screaming from and fly to my rescue?
Normally yes ... but I lost my hearing aid. I've just found a suppository in my ear though!
Help me ... help me Superhero!
All right ... all right ... just hold on!
He did not hold on. Now I have to use my frequent flyer miles and search all over the world for him.
Hello ... Superhero! Is that you?
Yes, it's me ... where did you go? I won't be able to find you if you keep moving.
I fell off the cliff and I am now hanging on to a branch a bit lower down. Please come and help me soon. The battery on my cell phone is running low ...
I am coming as fast as I can. I have to change at least three flights on different airlines to reach you. Also take a bus and possibly hire a bicycle to get to your location for the last few miles.
Just hurry up ... I can hold no longer ... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Damn nuisance. He has moved again. How can I save people in distress if they keep moving? They are so inconsiderate these days!
Hello ... Hello ... Superhero?
Yes ... that's me ... and it's you again. I notice your cell phone is loud and clear now.
I'm not on my cell phone. It broke when I fell. I am now at the bottom of the cliff. I am phoning you from the bar at the hotel on the beach. I'm OK. No need to come and save me.
I'll charge you double for wasting my time, you fathead!
So ... what do you think? Am I better at romantic novels or adventure?
Or do you prefer my other books?