Oh ... it's you again.
Yes Father, it is Alphonse ... I normally sit right at the front pew.
I know ...
It's been a week since my last confession.
I recall it well. I suggested then that you seek medical attention. Your doctor perhaps, or even a psychiatrist.
Yes that's right ... I wrote it here in my notebook. Do you want to see it?
No ... ... ... so, what did you do? Have you been to see the doctor?
Not really ...
What do you mean not really? You either did see a doctor, or better still a psychiatrist or you didn't.
Well, I thought I'd go on the Jerry Springer Show instead.
What? Whatever for?
Well ... he might be interested in my condition ... he is good at this sort of thing ... he has people on his show with various problems and he is good at talking to them. And he always ends the show with some good words! He says 'Take care of yourselves and each other!' You never say that in confession. Have you seen his show? The audience often sing ... Jerry ... Jerry ...
Is he a doctor?
What does your wife think of this?
About my problem or about me wanting to go on the Jerry Springer Show to talk about it?
Well ... both!
She is worried about my problem but excited about going on the Jerry Springer Show. She has bought a new dress to wear if we go on the show. New shoes too!
Look my son, my job here, which is badly paid I might add, is to hear your sins, dish out some advice, and absolve you if you really repent. Technically, you are not committing a sin as such. Although you are getting pretty close to it, if I remember well what I was taught in seminary. But I honestly think you should seek medical attention.
Do you want a ticket to the Jerry Springer Show, if I get on it that is?
No I don't ... thank you. I shall pray for you ... and your wife!
Bye Father ... ... ...Isn't life exciting?