Thursday 4 February 2021

The Meaning Of Life


When I was young and I lived in London I got interested in all sorts of esoteric things and theories; like: are we the only ones in the universe? At what time do trees arrive in the forest? Why some tomato ketchup always gets stuck at the bottom of the bottle? The last one always foxed me. Adding water to the bottle does not solve the problem but only washes the bottle out.

I used to visit libraries and spend a lot of time searching for the answers to all those questions that were whizzing round in my mind, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel, like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind.

I hate plagiarism, don't you? I long for a world without plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will have no plagiarism whatsoever.

Anyway, as I was saying. I was young and got interested in all sorts of world problems, like the meaning of life. Then I read in the papers that a hermit type character was visiting London to talk about such things like the brotherhood of man, living peacefully and simply with few possessions, minimalism, happiness through simplicity rather than wealth, the meaning of life, and the composition of tomato ketchup in relation to its speed of travel out of a bottle.

I was suddenly attracted to this man and the wisdom and knowledge he had to impart to society. Here was a man living life the way he preached it. In poverty and simplicity sharing what little he had in wisdom with his fellow beings.  

So I visited him at his posh hotel in the luxurious part of London where all the wealthy tourists go. Unfortunately, as I got in I caught my ear in the revolving door. The door kept going round and I found myself in the street again with a bleeding ear. I tried again, but this time going backwards through the door. Sadly, I caught my other ear and got thrown out again.

There's a lesson to be learnt here, I thought. Although I could not work out what it was.

Eventually, I was led to the penthouse suite of the hotel where the hermit man lived in isolation and utter poverty. He was eating a humble meal of shell-fish rather than sumptuous food you would expect to find in such a hotel. He had a plate of oysters, and another of moules marinières, whatever they are. Also lobster thermidor with real thermidors in them.

He spoke quietly in short little sayings rather than in conversation.

I asked him, "What is the meaning of life?"

He replied, "Life is a bowl of cherries. Some ripe, some still to ripe, whilst others are rotten and mouldy!"

"I don't like cherries," I replied.

"All right," he continued softly sipping some liquid with bubbles from a crystal glass, "Life is a basket of bananas. Some are yellow and ready to eat, others are green and would give you tummy ache, but they are all bent."   

"What advice would you give a young man like me?" I asked.

He smiled and said, "If you walk in someone else's shoes for a mile or two you will be accused of stealing them!"

"Anything else?" 

"A man who has been swimming will be wet when he gets out of the water."

I did not understand the meaning of that. So I asked him. He continued.

"It is not good having such an open mind that your brains fall out of it!"

"That's deep!" I smiled.

"Depth is comparative to one's perception," he responded. 

It seemed that every time I asked him something he answered in these riddle type replies, leaving you to find any hidden meaning you wish from what he said. 

So I attempted another question. "The world is in turmoil right now, " I said, "what advice would you give today's generation from someone as learned and wise as yourself?"  

"Too many oysters give you the runs," he answered as he rushed to the bathroom.

The interview was stopped abruptly. His helpers and minders saw me out. I never got to find out why tomato ketchup gets stuck at the bottom of the bottle when it is nearly empty.

Any ideas? 

25 comments:

  1. ...I've never given all of this that much thought.

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  2. So much for this guy living in poverty! And I think his wisdom is impoverished, too.
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. He did not know the answer to tomato ketchup.

      God bless, Martha.

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  3. Dearest Victor,
    Wow, you were very persistent for meeting with this con-man. His terminology of poverty and the meaning of life was a big joke. He answered with more open questions - thus revealing who he really was!
    Glad you went through this eye-opener. People so often are not what they pretend to be.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. That's true, Mariette. And I still do not know why some ketchup remains stuck at the bottom of the bottle.

      God bless you.

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  4. Since I do not like ketchup, this has not been a problem for me.
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. I have ketchup on everything; even sliced tomatoes in a sandwich.

      God bless you, Lulu. Glad to see you visiting here.

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  5. We just turn the bottle of ketchup upside down to get the rest out of the bottle. It's quite simple if you remember. :)

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    1. Yes, I've tried that, Bill. Balancing the bottle upside down and hoping no one knocks it over. The last drop is as delicious as the first one.

      God bless you.

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  6. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the hermit being so destitute he lives in a penthouse and dines on such a sumptuous feast. (Excepting oysters, that is.) Is it all the royalties he garners from his sage advice?

    Thanks for today's ear-worms ... I enjoy both songs.

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    1. So many people make money by giving advice that is not worth a dime, Mevely. Counsellors, life coaches, agony aunts and so on. They're on TV everyday. Yet they know nothing about ketchup.

      Glad you liked the songs.

      God bless you and yours.

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  7. The ketchup stays on the bottom because a vacuum is created while emptying the bottle. The air pressure from the vacuum keeps the ketchup on the bottom. The simple solution is to use a vacuum cleaner to suck out the bottom contents.

    Now the meaning of life:
    Life is like a good cigar, the best part is when you get to the end, just as you appreciate and enjoy it, it is done. If you fire it up it will end, if you don't light it, it just gets wasted.

    I don't know what that means either!

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    1. Good explanation about the ketchup ... I think. As for the cigar? I'm still trying to understand it.

      God bless you, JoeH.

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    2. You bought that vacuum crap?

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    3. Yes thanx JoeH. I used a vacuum cleaner with a thin nozzle. It clogged the whole works. My wife is angry. And we may need to buy a new cleaner. You're a great friend.

      God bless.

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  8. Dear Victor, you've lifted a weighty mood. While reading this post I was shocked by a noise heard too rarely in these troubled times --my own laughter. True communication is oft-attended by laughter. You did good here. Thanks.

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    1. Geo. let me tell you; often, I write these articles to make myself laugh and to lighten my mood. I've just switched off the TV because every program seemed negative and likely to make viewers depressed. Even the weather channel was depressing.

      My wish is that these articles bring a smile to my readers' faces. Or better still, bring out a cheerful sound from the orifice on their faces. From anywhere else and we've got a problem!

      Keep smiling. God bless.

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  9. Ketchup is considered to be absolutely necessary by my husband. If a luxury meal was served to him, he would ask for ketchup. What deep meaning could be gathered by that?

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    1. I think your husband is a connoisseur of good food. I always ask for ketchup at restaurants. Sometimes, I take my own bottle with me.

      God bless, Susan.

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  10. Mission accomplished, Victor, I laughed!!

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    1. That's great, Wanda. Thank you so much.

      God bless you and yours.

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  11. You aren't buying the right kind of bottle. Here we have the plastic bottles that actually open at the bottom, and you squeeze the ketchup out of the flip bottom, so you don't lose any.

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