Monday 12 July 2021

Don't Do It On The Bus

 

The other day I got thrown off the bus. Again …

The bus driver threatened to call the police unless I got off the bus. I hadn't done anything wrong I tell you. But let you be the judge of that.

You see ... when I read something I read it as I was taught at school. I run my finger over every word and read it out loud.

There I was on the bus reading loudly from my book:

A – Apple. B – Banana. C – Cat. D – Dog.  

A woman next to me asked me to stop. She said she was busy playing Bingo on her cell phone.

SIDE-LINE NOTE: I don’t know if it is the same where you live. Over here in the UK people can gamble on their cell-phones. They can play bingo, roulette, poker, and other card and casino games on their cell-phones or on their tablets or computers. There are many organisations providing this service for you. You just log in and play. They all advertise their companies and their games on TV. They also warn Gamble Responsibly.

What does that mean? If you are gambling, then you are gambling. How do you do it responsibly?

Just like all the alcohol adverts on TV for beer and liquor. They warn Be Drink Aware.

What does that mean? If you’re drinking whisky, which I do, then you are aware it is whisky, and I for one would be very angry if milk shake came out of the bottle.

Anyway … you are now leaving the SIDE-LINE NOTE and re-entering the main body of the article you were reading. Please read carefully and be Grammatically Aware and Cognisant of what you are reading.

As I was saying, this woman told me I was interfering with her Bingo game by my reading aloud. Even though her cell-phone was calling out numbers loudly for her to cross on her Bingo card on the screen.

I ignored her, politely, and continued reading. You can ignore someone politely by pretending you do not understand their language.

She said, “Are you an idiot?”

I immediately turned to the right page in the book and read: I – Iguana.

She turned the volume on her cell phone louder. There were numbers being called loud for everyone to hear. Fortunately, we were the only two people on the bus. As well as the driver of course.

I picked up another book and started reading louder:

1 – 1 Apple. 2 – 2 Bananas. 3 – 3 Cats. 4 – 4 Dogs … and so on.  

She raised the volume on her cell-phone louder, rather than move elsewhere on an empty bus. I read louder and faster until I reached number 100 then started again.

That’s when the bus driver stopped the bus and threw me out the bus. To be fair, he also threw the woman off the bus too.

I’ll never take my wife shopping with me on the bus again.

SUPPLEMENTARY SIDE-LINE NOTE: I did try to break the habit of reading aloud. I tried and tried and eventually I learnt to read silently.

Days later, in church, the usual reader was absent. The priest asked me to do the readings at Mass. I approached the lectern and read silently. He was most upset and asked me to leave. He did the readings himself.

You can’t please everyone in this world. Why try?

23 comments:

  1. ...I don't gamble, I dislike losing more than I like winning.

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  2. Dearest Victor,
    No gambling interest at all and I never will forget working in Connecticut as a consultant at the mushroom farm, facing such tragedy. One of the supervisors (female) had just gambled the couples entire home and what not! SAD and what a tragedy, they divorced but no doubt it did not 'cure' her addiction...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Mariette. Gambling is such a disease. Over here we have adverts on TV about gambling every day. People can easily gamble by playing on their cell-phones and the money goes out of their credit cards, or bank accounts, automatically.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Cute! I didn't see that coming! (Your wife, I mean.)
    I wasn't aware of gambling via cell phone but wouldn't be surprised if it's not available. Sad, isn't it, that so many still believe they're just one pull (or card) away from a windfall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Mevely, over here people can gamble in casinos, in clubs, or on the race course. Additionally, there are gambling shops everywhere where people can go and place a bet on anything: who will win at football, tennis, golf or at an election or whatever. And also people can gamble on their cell-phones, tablets, or computers. They log-in, give their credit card or bank account number, and can play a variety of games like roulette or card games or whatever.

      By the way, my wife does not gamble or play bingo on the cell-phone. I just needed a punch-line to end the story.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. Thanks again for the smiles from afar. Seems like you were right here. I thought all your busses were double deckers??? I just had to take one while visiting London and Piccadilly Circus. You must not have been on the bus, no one read aloud. But then you were still probably in diapers, or the first grade back then. LOL
    Enjoyed the visit .
    Sherry & jack still stuck on the other side.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We still have double-deckers in the UK, Jack. Look on the right hand column for the green bus advertising my first book "VISIONS". In some cities the buses are green. In London they are red. That day you were visiting Piccadilly Circus I was on another bus going to London Zoo to visit a relative. He was in a cage. I mean ... he works there. He is not an animal or a bird. He does bird imitations. Her eats worms.

      God bless you and your family, Jack.

      Delete
  5. Sometimes you can't win no matter what you do. You should learn sign language and talk with your fingers. :)

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    Replies
    1. That's the problem with life these days, Bill. Sometimes, often, one cannot win. Whatever we do is wrong. Like re-cycling. I put my plastic bags which come with the food, (like apples, pears, carrots and so on which come in plastic bags), in the re-cycling bin. Somehow, they end up in the sea. I can't win.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. A priceless punchline, Victor! I hope your wife has a good sense of humor. Then again, if she's married to you, she probably does.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes I start a story and get stuck on a good punch-line as to how I finish it. This time, somehow, I got an inspiration. Which I read out one letter at a time . I ... N ... S ... P ...

      God bless always, Martha.

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  7. The lady turning out to be your wife surprised me! :). Good story.

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    Replies
    1. I know ... she surprised me and all!

      God bless, Happyone.

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  8. OK, doing the reading at Mass silently...THAT's FUNNY!

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    Replies
    1. So glad you liked it, JoeH. I can't please everyone, it seems.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  9. It's faster to not read aloud. Having to move your lips when you read slows you down.

    Joe H is right, that was funny.

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    1. The priest did not think it was funny. I thought I was being polite by reading silently; and it was faster.

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete
  10. World wide people can gamble on their cell phones, as if there weren't enough gambling outlets everywhere already. Reading silently is much better, it makes people wonder what you are reading and why aren't you gambling like everyone else? I do think those who are using cell phones on public transport should be considerate of others and turn down the volume. Ditto with your reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Society seems to be using cell-phones everywhere these days. On public transport, in restaurants, pubs, clubs ... everywhere. Talking, taking photos or whatever. I tried using my phone outdoors but the cable did not stretch that far.

      God bless, River.

      Delete
  11. Oh the story about you and the woman on the bus, and then the funny punch line. Plus reading silently during Mass. Good one.

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you liked my story, Terra. Please call again, and invite your friends here.

      God bless.

      Delete

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