Whale of a time

 

There was a crashing noise in the kitchen whilst I was in the lounge watching Baywatch on TV. I ran to investigate and found a whale in my kitchen. It got straight through the roof and caused a real mess everywhere with broken debris, pots and pans everywhere and smashed furniture. Worst of all, it had ruined my Lancashire hotpot with potatoes, carrots, parsnips and swedes and plenty of mutton. The recipe did not call for fish and there I had a huge whale in the middle of it all.

We are over 60 miles from the sea. How did it get in my kitchen? I phoned the fire brigade but they would not come out because it was not on fire. The police said it was not on their wanted list and strictly speaking, although it was breaking and entering, it had not stolen anything. 

The Animal Rescue people turned up and said it had probably been picked up by a seagull and it proved too heavy for it after 60 miles. They could not help either because the whale was already dead.

I tried to flush it down the toilet but it was too heavy for me to carry upstairs. 

I planned to sell it to a cat food manufacturers. They declined the offer.

Does anyone out there want to buy a whale going cheap? It does bird impersonations too ... cheap ... cheep ... cheep!