The Environmental Footprint of Britons in the Middle Ages

 

Last Saturday, on this Blog, Barbara set me a challenge to write about the Environmental Footprint of Britons in the Middle Ages.

My dictionary defines the Middle Ages as the period from the 5th to the late 15th centuries, (from 400 to about 1500 AD), so it gives me plenty of room to comment on.

I guess at the time the Britons did not care much about the environment any more than they cared for fashion. Anything goes, as is apparent from the lady above who wore her bra on her head to keep her ears warm. Environmentally friendly? Yes, it saved her from buying a hat!

I have included the Tudor period, (1485 to 1603), to make a point on the environment. They had open sewers in the streets and toilets were a hole in the ground in the back garden. They often emptied chamber pots out of the window onto the people in the streets down below. Hence the phrase "Gardyloo !!!" which roughly translated meant "watch out for the water" (and what's in it) !!!

Not much care for wildlife either at that time. People had to use quills to write with. These were feathers of various birds which had to be sharpened daily with knives - hence the word pen-knife. Once they sharpened the quill they used it to tap the keys on their computer keyboards.

If a woman did not marry she often stayed at home with her parents and spent her time spinning - hence the word "spinster". Women could be punished by law for nagging and scolding. Women were warned to stop nagging and if they continued they were punished by ducking. They were tied to a chair and lowered in the river a few times. If a woman continued nagging and scolding she was made to wear a metal mask which clamped on the head with a metal bar in her mouth holding her tongue down. She was then paraded in town as a warning to other women.

Talking of parading in town.  Lady Godiva, was an 11th-century Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who lived in Britain all that time ago. Lady Godiva took pity on the people of Coventry who were paying too much taxes imposed by her husband on the town. She pleaded to her husband to lower the taxes. Eventually, to shut her up, he said, "I'll lower the taxes if you strip naked and ride a horse through the streets of Coventry!" To his surprise she agreed. 

She issued a proclamation that on a certain day everyone should remain indoors and shut all their windows because she was going to ride naked on a horse throughout town. How naive is that?

On the day in question Lady Godiva rode naked on a horse and paraded throughout town.

But a tailor called Tom succumbed to temptation. He made a small hole in his window shutters and had a good look at what he should not have been looking at. And that's where the name Peeping Tom originates from. Not an environmental friendly act would you say, drilling a hole and damaging a window shutter!

And now another Briton from the Middle Ages. Robin Hood is believed to have lived in the late-12th-century; at the time of King Richard the Lionheart of England.

Robin and his Merrymen lived in Sherwood Forest, (environmentally friendly living), and they robbed the rich to help the poor, (economically conscious). 

Robin and his men always wore green. Some believe it was to camouflage themselves in the forest from the Sheriff's soldiers; but truth be known it was because washing machines had not yet been invented, and clothes do get dirty when you spend your life climbing trees like a monkey. (Again, environmentally friendly albeit smelly clothing). Their habitat was environmentally friendly too. They lived in a damp and wet forest which froze them to death in winter and gave most of them rheumatism and aches and pains.

When Robin Hood got very old, (18 November 1247, about 87 years of age), he lay on his death bed breathing lightly and reminiscing about "olde tymes" when he could climb trees without the aid of an elevator.

His Merrymen surrounded the bed and regaled in "olde tales" about how they got the better of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Maid Marion was there too making endless cups of coffee to keep everyone awake until Robin went finally to sleep.

The Merrymen whispered to themselves about where they would bury Robin when he died. Little John suggested a nice spot in Sherwood Forest. Friar Tuck preferred a burial in Nottingham itself, to make a political point so to speak. Others suggested a burial at sea would be more fitting ... there's no record as to why they wanted this, but then we can't assume that those people were either intelligent or logical.
Much the Miller's son suggested cryonics preservation but this was dismissed since the fridge was broken at the time. Robin Hood then said: "I know what you're talking about ..." They all looked innocently at the ceiling and whistled or hummed silently. The ceiling needs repainting, thought Maid Marion.

Robin continued: "Give me my bow and arrow. I shall shoot an arrow high in the sky. Where it lands that's where I wish to be buried!"

They gave him his bow and arrow. He put on his spectacles and weakly pulled back the string on the bow with his shaking hand. They all looked silently in anticipation. He raised his arm high, still shaking, and released the arrow.

And that's how Robin Hood came to be buried on top of the wardrobe.