It was NOT my fault

 

Why is it I get blamed for everything? It was NOT my fault, I tell you. I'm innocent. I'll let you be the judge of this.

It happened two weekends ago. On a Saturday. We were invited to a wedding. A friend of my wife was getting married. I hardly know her but the invitation was for two so I agreed to go with my wife. Besides, there was free food afterwards.

As the happy couple left the church they stopped by the door for photographs. The photographer asked all the guests to stand on either side of the couple, just out of sight of the camera, and on the count of three to throw confetti on the couple. You know what I mean ...  small pieces or streamers of coloured paper usually thrown at celebrations, especially parades and weddings. Some people also prefer to throw rice at the couple - uncooked of course. On this occasion it was just coloured pieces of paper - confetti.

I'd just received a text from my boss. An important business call. My wife gave me a packet of confetti. The photographer counted to three. We all threw the confetti at the newly marrieds.

So did I ... I threw the confetti in my hand including my cell-phone. 

It hit her hard in the eye. She screamed. The cell-phone hit the ground. I wondered who's the idiot who threw the phone at the bride. I did not know it was me ... until everyone looked at me ... she started crying. Her husband comforted her, so did the bride-maids, the photographer, the priest, the guests, including one of them who was a doctor, and another one who was a lawyer and another one who was a policeman.

Just my luck. Why did she not invite a judge too and an executioner?

It was not my fault I tell you. It was my boss. He's the one who texted me at the wrong time. 

At the reception afterwards she had a black-eye which looked as if she'd been at a boxing match.

She was nice about it and understanding. Her husband wasn't. He glared at me. All the guests were whispering, "he's the one who threw the phone at her".

I tell you ... why are people so mean? It's not as if I did it on purpose. 

They're on honeymoon now. We've received a letter from them. Well, my wife did. They told her not to feel so bad about it all. They also said that the hotel manager on seeing the bride's black eye threatened to call the police thinking her husband had done it. He just would not believe they were on honeymoon. 

He asked, "So what is this? Marriage at first fight?"

My wife is still not speaking to me. (At least I can watch sports on TV in silence). She blames me for it all.

What do you think? Was it my fault? Or my boss's fault? Or the photographer perhaps for suggesting the whole stupid thing?