Let's imagine this conversation between an old lady living alone and her pet dog.
Old Lady: You know Fido, it's been very cold today. That's why I didn't take you for a walk.
Fido: (Getting up from his bed) She called my name. I think it's time for a walk. (Waggles his tail).
OL: No Fido ... we're not going out. I said it's too cold outside.
Fido: (Barks and runs round in circles in anticipation). Hooray ... we're going out ... we're going out. She said so!
OL: Sit down you silly dog. You're lovely really, but sometimes you act silly.
Fido: (Sits and waggles his tail happily). Perhaps she's going to feed me. Is it dinner time yet? What time is it? I wish I could tell the time. I know I'm hungry.
OL: What a good boy you are, Fido. Who's a good boy? You are. Yes, you are! You're my lovely little darling, aren't you? Yes you are ... you are!
Fido: Come on hurry up you daft bat. Give me something to eat!
OL: Perhaps we'll go out for a walk tomorrow. We'll go to the park and you'll meet that pretty lady dog! You like her don't you? Yes you do ... you do!
Fido: I'm getting fed up with this. Are you going to feed me or not?
OL: You're such a good companion Fido I could just kiss you right now. Yes I could ...
Fido: After I've licked my privates perhaps ... since you can't be bothered to feed me.
OL: Oh don't do that Fido. It's so uncouth. Here ... have a biscuit.
Fido: It seems to work every time. Whenever I start cleaning myself she gives me a biscuit. She's a glutton for cleanliness.
OL: OK ... that's enough biscuits for now. Go to bed and I'll make myself a cup of tea.
Fido: I want to go out now ... I'm dying for a pee.
OL: Oh stop jumping again ... I told you we can't go walkies today. It's too cold. Maybe tomorrow.
Fido: Open the door you old fool. I'm bursting here.
OL: I said stop jumping, Fido. Go to bed!
Fido: Open the back door and let me out in the garden you demented dumb ass. Or I'll do it all over your leg!
OL: Since you're being such a bad boy I'd better throw you out for a minute or so to cool off!
Fido: At last ... I could hold it no longer. Pity humans are too stupid and dim-witted to be trained to understand us pets.
...sorry, I'm not a pet talker.
ReplyDeleteWoof ... Woof ... let me out, I want to go to the bathroom.
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
Oh Victor....you would make for a great "Talking Dog Trainer." Enjoy this beautiful day that awaits many blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shug. I'm so glad you enjoyed my humour today. Best wishes. God bless.
DeleteI've always talked to the animals in the house, and I'm quite sure they understand what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteYou're lucky they understand you, Kathy. I had a French poodle and he did not understand unless I spoke in French. So he listened to me but not my wife.
DeleteGod bless.
My dog understands certain words and she is able to decipher when we’re spelling. I guess they recognize our tone. However I do speak fluent “cat”
ReplyDeleteMy cat loves to go out for a walk. I put a lead on his collar and we go "walkies". The other day I took Felix for a walk and I fell off a tree. We also had a parrot who could spell his name. We wanted to call him a "bird" type name. So we called him Gregory Peck.
DeleteGod bless, Debby.
This kept me laughing from start to end, Victor. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteIt's my sense of humour, Martha. It takes over some times. Do you think animals talk in different accents depending where they are from?
DeleteGod bless you. Keep smiling.
Too funny!
ReplyDeleteSome of my best conversations take place between Macie Ann and me. At least, she's one of the best listeners I know.
I guess dogs understand a lot when we talk to them. Not so much cats, I don't think. God bless, Mevely.
DeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteA good read Victor, thank you.
All the best Jan
So glad I made you smile, Jan. God bless.
DeleteI don't have a pet right now, but when I did I always talked to her.
ReplyDeleteNow I talk to all the farm animals I pass by. :)
I wonder whether all animals understand when we talk to them. Some are pigeon-brained; especially pigeons. God bless, K.
DeleteI don't have a pet now - but when we did - Disco - was the best comfort ever - and I think he understood a lot!
ReplyDeleteI think he'd understand if he was a dog; not sure about a cat. God bless, Sandie.
DeleteWalking or not, you must let the dog out. If I had a dog, I'd want a fenced yard and a doggie door.
ReplyDeleteWow ... you're generous. The dog has his own door, with key and doorbell, for his guests and visitors? God bless you, Mimi.
DeleteVictor, if I was not a believing Christian I would say to you 'Was you a dog in a past life.'
ReplyDeleteWoof ... Woof ... Woof Woof ...
DeleteGod bless, Brenda.