Ever dabbled in the occult?

 

Have you ever dabbled in the occult? Speak to people on the other side? Spirits?

I have.

I believe that our souls live on in a spiritual invisible world for eternity. But it is wrong, and dangerous, to attempt to communicate with them.

I was at a business party once at my boss's house. I was driven there by colleagues so I could not just leave when I wanted.

The boss's wife thought that for entertainment we should try to communicate with the "other side".

I objected silently. Did I ever tell you I am very shy; also a coward by nature and I feared losing my job?

She made us sit around the table and brought out a Luigi Board she had bought from Italy.

We held the tips of our fingers on this heart shaped piece of wood, (planchette), on the board and Julie asked: "Is anyone there?"

Our fingers moved the planchette in unison on the board. The answer was: "No!"

We were all riveted in confusion. If there was no one there then who answered "No!" ???

Julie was not deterred. We moved the planchette to its original starting position and Julie asked: "Is there anything you like to say?"

Again, the fingers moved the wooden heart on the board in unison. I was not putting any pressure on the wood, but felt as if I was being "led" by the rest of the group.

The answer from the "other side" was: "You 'ave no new massages!" (It was written in an Italian accent. No doubt we had contacted an Italian ghost from the place where the Luigi Board was made. I noted we were all instinctively leaning to one side on the table ... was it Pisa?) 

We all stopped simultaneously and no one said anything. If there was no one there, then who is answering that there are no messages for anyone? 

"This has never happened before," said Julie showing her frustration, "is there anyone here who does not believe in spirits, or thinks it is wrong to communicate with them?"

At first no one answered. So I dismissed my natural cowardice and said, "I believe in spirits. Both real ones and those in bottles. I don't think we should talk to them though!"

Julie looked at me in anger. I pulled back my hand and sat a little further back from the table. She replaced the heart in its original position and asked again: "Is anyone there?"

Once more, the fingers of the remaining participants moved in unison on the board. They spelled the word, "Nein".

"There are nine of them," said one of the guests.

"Either that, or the spirit is dyslexic," I joked. Julie ignored me. Her husband smiled.

She asked one more time: "Is anyone there?"

The fingers spelled out, "Whatsa do yah wanter ... I am bizzy making dah pizza right now!"

Must have been the ghost of a pizza cook. 

The seance took a little longer than usual because we had to translate everything the ghost said.

I got a nice recipe for tagliatelle with carbonara sauce, and tiramisu with mascarpone!