I'm not old

 

I'M NOT OLD. 

 

ARE YOU?

 

Random thoughts as we age.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write this down, I'll remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

I don't trip over things; I do random gravity checks!

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

I don't have white hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I am just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

I'm going to retire and live off my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.

As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it

Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.