Bon Appetit

I don't deny that eating a nice steak, or a lamb casserole, roast chicken and freshly cooked fish and chips are a delight at any time. I can smell the delicious aroma of these and many other favourites of mine right now as I am typing these words.

But yet ... there's another delicacy which most of us have probably not partaken in, which goes unnoticed by our culinary experts and is indeed far cheaper than anything you can buy at your supermarket, delicatessen or top of the range boucherie!

ROADKILL !!!

Can you imagine how much meat is left lying there on the road every day to rot away in the sun instead of resting nicely on your plate next to your favourite vegetables? And it's FREE folks. You don't have to pay for it.

Just stop the car and pick up the remains of that squashed squirrel. You may need a spade for this, but on the positive side the meat has already been tenderised by the weight of the vehicle which run him over.

If this makes you squeamish, don't worry. 

Drive on a few more miles and you'll most likely find a dead rabbit, or a dead fox which will serve you as a neck scarf as well as a meal.

Or if you're lucky you may find a dead pheasant, (I said pheasant, not peasant - pay attention). Or indeed some other bird like a crow or a sparrow even, or maybe you could enjoy the delicacy of dead frogs and toads attempting to cross the road and not quite making it to the other side. They may be a bit squashy on the road, but a few minutes in a blender with some spices will make you a delicious soup, or gravy.

The possibilities are endless. And the beauty of it all is that the cuisine varies depending on which country you're in. 

Can you imagine kangaroo steaks from Australia? Sheep from New Zealand or Wales? Reindeer or moose or buffalo? Geese and turkeys? Prickly hedgehogs or even wild haggis in Scotland's Highlands?

The roads are full of food for you to enjoy. Even scraping the dead insects from the front of your car can provide an appetising meal if you put your mind to it.

So help the environment and keep our roads clean. Take a roadkill to your kitchen today. Nothing looks better when viewed on your plate with some vegetables.

Except that bicycle you ran over the other day!

Eating Healthy

I don't know what it's like where you happen to live, but over here in the UK we've been encouraged for some time by health experts to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day. This has lately been increased to seven portions a day because of inflation.

Personally, I think seven, or even five, portions of fruit and vegetables is far too much for anyone to take. Can you imagine munching on a carrot, an apple, a piece of broccoli or spinach, a banana perhaps, (that makes four) and a box of chocolates with fruit centers? That's only five! Still two more portions of this healthy food and I won't have any room for steak and french fries, or pizza or a burger in a large bun.

Obviously the thing to ask these health experts is what do they mean by a portion. Apparently it is the amount of fruit or vegetables which you can hold in the palm of your hand.

So having a large watermelon or a pineapple is OK then; is it?

But before we scoff at this advice given to us in order to lead long and healthy lives, let us look at the science behind the advice.

According to studies carried out by nutriologists and such like boffins the proof of healthy eating is overwhelming.

They had two groups of 50 people. One group of 50 was fed seven portions of fruits and vegetables daily for a period of five years; and the other group of 50 were totally deprived of these items for the same period.

At the end of the five years, out of the group who ate fruits and vegetables daily, two were hit by a bus and died, one drowned when he fell off a bridge, and another broke his leg when he fell off a ladder. The rest did not live any longer than those who did not eat fruits and vegetables, but it sure seemed like it.

Yet the scientists do not relent in their advice to eat fruits and vegetables.

They say the advantage of eating so much vegetation will make us live long enough for our families to despise us and put us in an old peoples' home.

And once there, the staff will care for us so that our relatives don't have to. And to humour us, the staff will no longer force us to have seven portions of fruits and vegetables daily; which will eventually shorten our longevity proving once again that scientists were right in recommending so much fruits and vegetables in our diets.

So there you are. You can either accept experts' advice on this subject or not. Personally, I think it is dangerous to read too much between the lines, especially if you are standing in a railway station.