She contacted me

 

 

 You will recall I mentioned that I went to a high school reunion. At first I did not want to go, but in a way I'm glad I did because I met Mini Apparitions once again.

She was a popular and beautiful girl even then in those school days. As she grew up she developed into an even more beautiful and no doubt popular person.

Anyway, to get to the point, she contacted me. I don't know how she got my phone number. Perhaps it's because it is on my visiting card. I carry a small number of visiting cards with me in case I have to remember my name or address. I may have inadvertently given Mini my card at the reunion. I can't remember. I know I had ten cards with me at the reunion and when I left I had nine. Maybe she picked it up when it fell out of my pocket and out of my wallet and into her hand by accident perhaps. Who knows?

Anyway, as I was saying before; Mini contacted me. Why do I keep repeating the word anyway? It's such an annoying habit. I'll have to stop it.

Anyway ... Mini phoned me and suggested we meet. I did not know if I should. I mean ... what is there to talk about from the old school days? All I can remember is that at high school she always wore mini skirts and sometimes she had a button or two undone in her blouse; hence her nickname Mini Apparitions. And she was very good at Maths. And that the teacher suggested that able pupils like her should sit next to and help those less able. And that I was awful at Maths. And I sat next to her all year. And she had lovely brown eyes. And a beautiful smile. And I did not improve at Maths at all. Anyway ... there isn't much else I remember about Mini from when we were teenagers.

My wife thought I should meet up with her. I was surprised at her encouragement; especially when I had told her why we called that woman Mini Apparitions. But my wife laughed and encouraged me to meet her. I thought either she has great trust in me, or she thinks I'm too lazy to misbehave.

 

Anyway, my wife said if Mini took the trouble to contact me I should at least meet up for a coffee. It's been years since we last were at high school and there's a lot to catch up on. I could tell her about how life is with me, and she could tell me about her life. How she became an accountant. Perhaps she has a family and children ... and all that. There's a lot to catch up on when you haven't seen someone for years.

My wife insisted I wear a nice suit and clean my shoes. Women tend to look at men's shoes. It says a lot about you if your shoes are not clean. And brush your hair. And your teeth. And no it is not OK to go in jeans and T shirt. You don't want her to think I'm easily satisfied with any old hobo for a husband. And none of your stupid silly jokes. No one laughs at them anyway. They only smile to be polite or out of pity. Just be yourself. On second thoughts no ... don't be yourself. That's the problem with you. Being yourself makes people wonder why I ever married you. I was not that desperate you know. My mother told me I could do better. Just ... just ... be normal. Be like any other person. No it is not boring to be normal. On second thoughts it is perhaps better not to meet her at all. Look ... you meet her and you'd better behave or else I'll kill you. Honest to God, I can't take you anywhere. Even on your own I can't take you anywhere.

Anyway, I did meet up with Mini. She was as beautiful as when I last met her at the school reunion a couple of days earlier. We met at a local very posh hotel where they serve English tea with triangular sandwiches and scones with jam and clotted cream. You can choose Earl Grey, or Darjeeling or many other teas including herbal teas and such. Coffee too.

All went well at first until I accidentally put the cup of coffee down on the edge of the saucer and the coffee went all over the table and into my lap. It was very hot. I pretended not to mind as I wiped myself with the serviette. As I picked up the serviette there was a plate with some biscuits which fell to the ground and broke with a big noise. Everyone was looking at us. The waitress was kind and helped pick up the broken pieces of plate and biscuits from the floor. As I got up I stepped on her fingers. She let out a yelp like a wounded animal. Another waiter came to help. They cleaned the floor quickly. As I sat down again my bottom missed the chair and I landed on the floor. 

Apart from that it all went well, as I said. The meeting with Mini that is. I did my best to always look her in the eye and no lower. Did I mention she became an accountant? I can't remember much else she said, although I can still see her in my mind. I think she said she was married. Oh yes ... she must be ... she has two children ... a boy and a girl ... or is it two girls ... or two boys ... she did mention Terri ... is that a boy's name or a girl's name ... or is it her husband ... perhaps it's her dog's name. I remember saying we had a tortoise as a pet named Speedy Gonzales on account it was very slow. She smiled at that. It was not a polite smile like my wife said. I think she appreciated my humour. I hope people do ... I am not boring am I with my jokes?

Anyway ... she said we should keep in touch. She lives far away in a city in Wales. She said she made the trip especially for the school reunion. She was glad she did. She met up with many dear friends. I hope she meant me ... one of her friends. She must have ... seeing she suggested we meet for coffee and that we keep in touch.   

When I told my wife what happened she said I am a disgrace. Pouring coffee all over myself, stepping on the waitress' fingers and falling to the floor. She said I did it on purpose to attract attention to myself. I always attract attention to myself, she said. She wished she had not encouraged me to meet up with Mini. I can't be taken anywhere, even alone. My wife did not think my Speedy Gonzales joke was funny.