Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts

Saturday, 20 June 2026

Not a member

 

Once upon a time there was a Senior Citizens Care Home which was well run and had over one hundred clients from various backgrounds. They generally got on well with each other and with the various doctors, nurses and staff who ran the place.

In the big lounge, just by the large window overlooking the back gardens, an elderly gentleman always sat there just after lunch and well into the afternoon. He liked to look at the different flowers and trees and all the various birds which visited the gardens. It was mostly seagulls because they were near the sea, although there were also starlings, blackbirds, robins and sometimes pigeons. He even saw a fox pass by once or twice.

It was better than watching TV in the other lounge, or playing cards, or board games or with jigsaw puzzles as the other guests tended to do. Here he was all alone watching the gardens at all weathers for a couple of hours or so, and sometimes dozing off after a good lunch.

One day, a group of the seniors, about a dozen or so, decided to set up a Bible Study group twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays. They agreed to meet up in the big lounge just after lunch.

At their first meeting they gathered there and found the old man by the large window. They ignored him and they sat at the opposite end of the lounge round a table and started with a short prayer. They then read a passage from the Bible and discussed it amongst themselves to discover what it meant to each of them and how relevant it was in their life. The old man remained at his seat looking out of the window. When they finished their session which was about an hour or so they all left.

This went on for two or three weeks. They got there after lunch and the old man was already at his seat by the window looking out.

Then some of them said they were uncomfortable speaking about the Bible and their beliefs and their life experiences with this old man, whom they knew as a guest in the Care Home, always sitting there and perhaps listening to the conversation. In truth, he was not listening but most probably dozing off most of the time. But they were not to know. They talked about it and decided to confront him at their next meeting.

One of them approached him and said, "Hello Gerard, we normally meet here twice a week for our Bible Study and you're always here!"

"Yes I am," replied the frail old man, "I like to watch the wildlife out the window!"

"But you're not one of us," said the spokesman for the group as the others gathered round, some of them nodding in silence, "you see, we feel a bit inhibited speaking about Christianity and what it means to us with a stranger in the room!"

"What we say is personal to us," added one of them, "Christianity is a personal thing ..."

"You're not even a member of the Bible Study group," said another member.

"Actually," the old man said with a smile, "I don't listen much to what you say with my hearing aids turned down low. I just watch the birds out of the window; I've been doing so for a while. If I were a member of the group would that be OK with you? I could sit here and listen to you at the same time."

They looked at each other in silence and most of them nodded.   

"Yes," said the spokesman, "it would be OK for you to join us and sit here if you wish. We could pull the table nearer to you. Tell us about yourself." 

"I am an old retired priest," he replied with a smile, "my church was in another town far away and when I retired they offered to put me up in a monastery nearby. I asked if it were possible to come here in my old home town where my family can visit me from time to time!" 

Now check Mark 9:38  

Friday, 30 August 2024

The TWELVE Commandments

 


The Twelve Commandments for Seniors

1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.


2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.


3 – You don't need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you.


4 – Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.


5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

6 - "On time" is when you get there.


7 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.


8 – Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.


9 – Growing old should have taken longer.


10 – Ageing has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

11 – You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

And one more

 

12 - "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.

Monday, 4 April 2022

The NEW Commandments for Seniors

 


1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.


2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.


3 – You don't need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you.


4 – Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.


5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

 

6 - "On time" is when you get there.


7 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.


8 – Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.


9 – You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

10 - One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.


 AND THERE'S MORE ...

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

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A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house.
He got the outside.

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Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them.

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Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. His brother Frank was an absolute monster.

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My parents won't say which of their six kids they love the best, but they have told me I finished just out of the top five.

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Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.

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Our son asked his mother what it's like to be married so she told him to leave her alone and when he did, she asked him why he was ignoring her.

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This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.