I had a terrible terrible nightmare the other night.
I dreamt I was in hospital and I had to undergo a serious operation. When I woke up from the operation I discovered they had transplanted a new hand on me. A third arm and hand had been transplanted on my stomach.
I had my two normal arms and hands and this third one out of my stomach at the front. What's worse, it was a female arm and hand.
It seemed to have a mind of its own. You should have seen it come out of my shirt and wave at people at the most inopportune time. The old lady on the bus fainted and nearly fell off the bus when my third hand waved goodbye at her.
I tried tucking it in under my belt but it was most embarrassing having it struggle to come out again.
Mind you, my third hand proved quite handy at the supermarket when I had to carry all that shopping!
I really should stop eating cheese before going to bed.