Tuesday, 5 July 2022

Notices


 

AMUSING NOTICES

In an office building:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.

Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).


23 comments:

  1. And a few Religious ones Victor....
    "The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."

    "Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons."

    "The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."

    "This evening at 7:00 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."

    "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a great chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

    "Great news! Doctors have performed a CAT scan on Pastor McLaren's head and report that they have found nothing!"

    "The visiting monster today is Rev. Jack Bains."

    There ya go...Sorry! Must get back to the garden...! :O).
    🧦 🎶 🦌 🧝 🌟 🍪 🥛 🍴 🎀 🧦 🎶 🦌 🧝 🍪

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only people check again what they have just written ... I check and double check and never make miss steaks.

      God bless, Willie.

      Delete
  2. Dearest Victor,
    Some real good ones and at times one has to scratch his/her head indeed!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People just do not check what they have written to see it makes sense.

      God bless, Mariette.

      Delete
  3. That's why it's important to proofread your work carefully :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny ... and frightening at the same time. They walk among us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amazing how many illiterate people there are around. I know from several educationalists.

      God bless you, Mevely.

      Delete
  5. Enjoyed the entry and had a lot of laughs but this one means a lot: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES...... We backpacked nearly 2000 miles on the Appalachian Trail, some of the trail goes thru farmers pastures.... TRUE!
    Smiles here... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, the bull charges. I guess they are just as territorial as dogs and feel you're intruding on their domain. So good to have you back from holidays, Jack.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. LOL, some very funny signs!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Heeheehee! Thank you for the giggles.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love the laughs that visits to your blog bring. Thanks and have a wonderful day. :)

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    Replies
    1. How kind of you to say so, Liberty. Please call again soon and invite your friends. God bless.

      Delete

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