The (Selfish) Ten Commandments

THE (SELFISH) TEN COMMANDMENTS

1             Thou shalt be selfish at all times and look after Number One first – that is yourself

2             Thou shalt have at least two holidays a year, preferably abroad, as a right and not as a fortunate personal circumstance to be thankful for

3             Thou shalt be greedy in every personal respect whether relating to food, drink, or any other form of personal pleasure

4             Thou shalt be personally enslaved in some form of modern deity, whether it be a sports team, TV personality or celebrity of any kind, or anyone else or thing you admire; and thou shalt follow their fortunes and be personally affected by them be that in a positive or negative way

5             Thou shalt create thyself as a celebrity in your own right by engaging in whichever social media vehicle is available for you to publicise yourself, your lifestyle, your thoughts and opinions as well as your innermost personal information, in order to gain and obtain as many idolising followers as you do unto others

6             Thou shalt go on a spending spree at all times regardless as to whether you can afford it or not, be it for clothing, property or in whatever other material form, and then to flaunt it unto others thus creating in them the overwhelming need and desire to compete with you

7             Thou shalt take total disregard to any health advice given and convince yourself that you will never be affected as it will never happen to you anyway

8             Thou shalt never accept any personal responsibility for anything that happens to you, your loved ones, or any other person as it is never your fault; and it is always the responsibility and fault of someone else whether in authority or not, whether now or in the past or in the future, or whether or not have they ever had the slightest jurisdiction of that element of your life. Remember that it is always someone else’s fault and never yours since you are a hapless victim of circumstances. Remembering also that revenge is the new forgiveness and to do unto others before they do it unto you

9             Thou shalt always consider yourself to be in the right and never in the wrong and in being so it follows that everyone else is wrong and should be called out, vilified, labelled, libelled, slandered and persecuted into silence unless they agree with you

10           Thou shalt never consider anything in the long term since it is better to live now and forget about tomorrow or any other morrow, thus concentrating your pleasure on the here and now and not the thereafter since there is no thereafter anyway

 11          Being selfish, thou shalt have more than just Ten Commandments – add others as you desire hereinafter