I tell you folks, take my advice. Never stop at traffic lights. Dangerous things can happen at traffic lights. Over here it can take several minutes or hours before the traffic lights change from red to green so you can go. And that's when I get distracted and start thinking. Thinking at traffic lights is dangerous.
There I was, thinking something funny to amuse myself, and suddenly I came up with a story for this Blog. I had to write it quickly before I forgot it. I pulled a pen from my jacket pocket. In my hurry I knocked the pen against the steering wheel and it flew out of my hand and went on a small shelf behind the steering wheel. I reached out to retrieve it but could not find it.
I looked down and could not see it. I bent forward to see through the steering wheel and still could not see it. I poked my head through the steering wheel to see better, in between the two spokes on the wheel.
And that's when the lights turned green. I could see the reflection on the window. But I could not move because my head was stuck in the steering wheel. I could not move forwards, or pull backwards. I was stuck in the steering wheel and the cars behind me were tooting their horns as a display of lack of patience and tolerance.
Moments later the police arrived. A policeman asked, "Is your brake stuck?"
"No, my head is ..." I replied in a reclining position.
He tried pulling my head out of the steering wheel with no success but much screaming and pain ... me ... not him. He tried rubbing butter and margarine all around my head and ears but that did not work either.
He asked me, "What were you looking for behind the steering wheel?"
I replied, "La plume de ma tante!" which is a stock phrase one memorises when learning French.
Oh ... did I forget to tell you I was in France at the time? Well I was. Not far from "le Pont d'Avignon"; hence the popular French song "Frère Jacques".
Anyway, as we were in France they finally got my head free with crème fraîche.
...here, too many people have taken your advice!
ReplyDeleteIf you have to stop at traffic lights have some crème fraîche with you.
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
I shall keep your advice in mind the next time I'm in France.
ReplyDeleteVery wise, Kathy; unless you want crème fraîche all over your head.
DeleteGod bless.
Hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteMy son never stops at traffic signals either -- but that's Mondays at 3am in high-crime areas of Montgomery .... another story for another day.
Seriously; like is getting dangerous with crime, Mevely. It's the same here on the news every day.
DeleteGod bless and protect you and yours.
Another reason I'm glad I live in a small friendly town!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI used to live in a small town and it did not have traffic lights. We used to take our own traffic lights with us; stop at a crossroad, put out the traffic lights, go through, and then retrieve our traffic lights and go.
DeleteGod bless, Happyone.
Sadly, this is no laughing matter out in California. They are removing traffic lights because their communities are overwhelmed with homeless people who are severing the wires on lights and electric charging stations in order to steal the copper from them. I'm so weary of folks being able to get away with these crimes, but our God will be the final judge.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Victor!
That's news to me, Martha. I've hear of people stealing copper pipes but not heard before about copper wires. What is happening to this world?
DeleteGod bless you and yours.
Recently even my pastor, in his Sunday morning sermon, commented how too many people are fiddling with their cell phones when sitting at the traffic lights. He's right.
ReplyDeleteOver here it is a criminal offence to use a cell-phone if you're in the driving seat.
DeleteGod bless, Barbara.
Vaseline should work too. 😊👍
ReplyDelete---Cheerful Monk
Indeed, Cheerful Monk. It's better than crème fraîche.
DeleteGod bless you.