Tuesday, 11 June 2024

A spoonful of humour

 


An old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage. The doctor asked him a series of questions:
“Do you know where you are?”
“I’m at Bolton General Hospital.”
“What town are you in?”
“Bolton.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Dr Hamilton.”
The old grandfather then turned to his son next to him and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” 

“Why?” he asked. 

“Because all of those answers were on his badge.”

=======================    

I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs. I stand corrected.

=======================   

Struck up a conversation with a spider today at home while dusting.  Nice guy. He's a web designer

=======================  

There's a highway to hell but a stairway to heaven. Says a lot about the expected traffic

=======================   

Friends, just a reminder to those who received a book from me at Christmas ...   They are due back in the library on the 29th.

======================= 

Back in my day I went to the store with only £1 and came back with 2 bags of potato chips, 1 carton of milk, and 3 boxes of chocolate. Now they have CCTV cameras everywhere.

======================= 

What do you call a politician with half a brain?  Gifted.

=======================   

A self-made unqualified doctor could not find a job in a hospital. So he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads 

"GET TREATMENT FOR £20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK £100."  

A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn £100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."
Doctor: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me my £20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to try to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I can’t remember anything."
Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me £20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, then comes back a week later determined to get back £100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I cannot see at all."
Doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this £100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is £20, not £100!”

Doctor: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me £20."

17 comments:

  1. ...keep laughing, it's good for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are classics, you had me laughing all the way. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's good to laugh, Bill. God bless you always.

      Delete
  3. More than a few laugh-out-loud moments here! Sharing ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Mevely, for sharing this with your friends.

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  4. Lots of fun here. thecontemplativecat here. Stairway to Heaven is a favorite song.

    ReplyDelete
  5. These were great, Victor! My favorite was the one about the half-brained politician. We have more than our fair share in the States. :)
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I was in politics I gave people a piece of my mind; I could hardly afford it.

      God bless, Martha.

      Delete
  6. Enjoyed the laughs. Favorite one was about the highway and stairway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it is a telling message isn't it? God bless, Happyone.

      Delete
  7. Sorry, Cheerful Monk, that Blogger is not publishing your comments. Thank you for calling here. Please try again soon ... and often. We like to see you here.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A very good collection here Victor ... thanks for the laughs.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed them, Jan.

      God bless always.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.