What would you think?

 

The windmills of my mind

 

Is it my imagination or are there more and more of these wind turbines being built all over the place? Wherever I drive in the countryside I see them there in the fields like daffodils in Spring. They suddenly appear where previously they were not. We went to the beach the other day and there they were paddling in the water along with the holiday makers.

I am told that they are good for the environment. Now I am not a scientist and do not understand all that. But have you considered how much electricity is used to make those windmills go round and round? How can this be good for the environment?

They also say that these turbines emit a sound that we cannot hear and it is bad for us in the long run. So I now take just short runs to the pub and back; and drive for other journeys whatever the distance.

Also, I read somewhere that these turbines are bad for birds because they perch on the blades and fall off as it goes round. 

Some people have suggested that to improve the countryside and beaches the turbines should be built inside caves instead of open spaces. An idea worth trying.

Anyway, the fact is they are building them everywhere. The other day I got up at night and found they built one in our bathroom. I was desperate to go and there it was blocking my way in. By the time I ran to the other room downstairs it was (almost) too late. Another team of engineers were building one there too; but I threw them out in time.

Can any of our bright and intelligent readers explain the benefits of these turbines? I am afraid that if they build so many around the world the whole planet will take off and fly somewhere else instead.

Look right ----->

 

Family Tree Surprises

 

Whilst searching my family tree I discovered some branch or other flourished in Greece. One such old ancestor is Quentin Zorba the Greek. He lived around 370 BC and worked as an assistant to a certain doctor called Hippocrates. As the name implies, he was a vet who treated hippopotamuses. Hippocrates that is, not my relative Quentin. He invented the Hippocritical Oath which promised that he'd heal any hippopotamus regardless to the danger to himself. As there were no hippos in Greece his promise was never tested. So he healed hippies instead. 

Another Greek relative I discovered also went by the same name; Quentin Bouzouki. He lived around 470 BC and knew the Greek philosopher Heraclitus. Apparently the philosopher didn't like people in general. He was always sad and melancholy, (face like a melon and body like a collie), and always cried in his beer in the pub despite Quentin's corny jokes. He was known as the "Weeping Philosopher"; especially on that day when Quentin put some lobsters in his bath-tub as a joke.

One day Heraclitus got sick with dropsy and no doctor could cure him. So he decided to cure himself by covering his body with cow manure and sitting in the sun for it to bake. This certainly did the trick. He died within a day. Which goes to prove - when you're up to your neck in **** don't sit in public for all to see.

As a sideline, and also leading to the discovery of another relative named Quentin "the writer"; I have not been able to find his surname. As you know, Homer was a Greek author living around 850 BC and is thought to have written two outstanding books called the Iliad and the Odyssey. Unfortunately, opinion is divided as to whether Homer actually wrote both works; a bit like the debate about whether Shakespeare did actually write all that he wrote. After various attempts to contact the  original publishers to find out the truth it was discovered that they'd gone out of business. However, rumours have it from my research, that Quentin was the writer and Homer the editor of these works. I tried to read them but did not understand a word. It was all Greek to me.

Money Money Money

 

I’m sure you know the story about the rich man who was told by Jesus to sell everything he had, give it to the poor, and follow Jesus. (Mark 10:17-27)

The man just could not do this, and went away sad.

Jesus also says that famous saying about it being harder for a rich man to enter Heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.

 What did it mean? Did Jesus refer to a gate called Needle, or was it a mountain pass which was so narrow you had to unload your camel of what it was carrying, pass the camel through, and then load it again.

It really doesn't matter. What matters is what Jesus meant in what He said to the rich man.

Jesus advised him to sell all he has and to give the money to the poor; and then to come and follow Jesus.

On hearing this the man went away very sad; he was not willing to follow the advice given.

 What would you have done?

Let’s assume God spoke to you right now, in a dream, or a vision, and you were certain it was Him speaking. Just as certain as Abraham, Moses, Noah, Mary, Joseph and many others were when God spoke to them. And God asked you to sell everything and give it to the poor, and become a missionary or a volunteer helper somewhere far off your community.

Would you be able to do it? Would you leave your spouse and family behind and follow Jesus wherever He asks you to go? Would you sell off everything you have, give up your job, leaving your children with nothing; and move on to a new life?

On reflection, perhaps we sympathise a little with the rich man. For we know not whether he had a family, friends and servants who relied on him – although we can assume he had. All these would have been left with nothing if the rich man followed Christ's advice to the letter.

Jesus was testing where the man's heart really was. What was more important to him, wealth or God? 

He certainly was not teaching against wealth in itself. Wealth creates wealth. It creates jobs and it creates the wherewithal to help others less fortunate than ourselves.

Christ condones, nay encourages, the creation of wealth in His parable about the servants given a gold coin each by their master. When he returned from his travels the master discovered that two servants managed to make their fortune increase whilst the third just didn’t bother. So he rewards the hard-working servants and punishes the other. (Luke 19:11-27).

In this story about the rich man Jesus was teaching responsible wealth. There’s nothing wrong in working hard and amassing a fortune honestly. As long as we use it responsibly. As long as we don't make wealth more important to us than God.

Those who are fortunate to have wealth should remember their responsibility to share it with others, and to help others, as best they can. This doesn’t mean sell everything and give it to the poor. It means be aware of those around you who are less fortunate than yourself; and share your good fortune with them.

In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31) Jesus does not condemn the rich man for being wealthy; but for not even realizing, never mind caring, for a poor man starving at his gate.

And wealth does not necessarily mean riches and money.

Some people are wealthy in different ways: wealthy in wisdom and knowledge, wealthy in health and stamina, wealthy in talents and so on.

Those amongst us who are well educated and knowledgeable should not look down on others haughtily and with disdain. Use your knowledge to teach others.

Those who are fortunate to be healthy should remember the sick and if possible visit them or help them as best they can.

Those with talents for music, the arts, sports or whatever should share their talents with others. Imagine the good you can achieve as a professional sportsman if you visit a school and share a few moments coaching children in whatever it is you do. Or if a musician or celebrity shared a few moments with less talented yet aspiring youngsters. That visit would be imprinted on young memories for life – and may well inspire them to do better and achieve more.

Let’s all look at ourselves deeply and discover what wealth God has given us.

Money, good health, a talent for music, painting, singing or whatever … and let’s share it for the glory of, and in thanksgiving to, God our Creator.  

Round the planet in 80 spins

 

We are told we have to save the planet. What we are saving it from I still do not know. The way we're all behaving right now suggests we should save it from ourselves.

People talk about global warming - we are burning too many things which are bad for the planet and cause its temperature to rise, and this is bad because the icebergs will melt and the seas will rise and only the strongest swimmers will survive. 

Others don't agree with this theory and believe temperatures rise and fall in a cyclical fashion and as in the past we had the ice-age we are only going through a phase and we will survive through it.

Personally, I am not clever enough to understand one argument from another. It's like the argument about the extinction of dinosaurs. Some say they all died because they could not withstand the cold temperatures of the ice-age; others say they died because they were killed by a meteorite, or asteroid which hit the earth. Although why they were all standing in the same place at the time is a mystery to me.

Now about this global warming thing. I feel it is because of candles. Can you imagine how many candles are lit at any one time in the world? In churches, in restaurants, at romantic dinner tables, in the bathroom - I mean; whoever thought of candles in the bathroom? Very dangerous if you happen to singe your hair. On birthday cakes too? Come on - admit it. How many candles are on your birthday cake each year? They all contribute to global warming.

That and cows breaking wind apparently. Cows break wind more than other creatures because they have two stomachs. It seems that all the gases coming out of cows float up to the sky and make a hole in the sky through which the sun rays get in and makes us warm.

Another reason for global warming, I am told, is deforestation. The other day I was sitting at the library reading about global warming, and a man beside me said, "“Do you realize that all the time you've been sitting here 500 square miles of rain forest have been destroyed?” So I got up and sat elsewhere. I don't want to be blamed for destroying a forest.

Yet another reason for global warming is books. Books are made of paper which comes from wood from trees. Do you realise that there are millions of books being printed in the world each year and most of them go unread? Including mine. Which is a pity because you're missing out on a good read. Just click the link to find out more. Or you can get them in Kindle formats and save on a lot of paper and trees being cut down.

Family Tree Surprises

 

It's amazing what surprises you discover when you search you family tree on-line. I have found out that one of my ancestors dates back to ancient Romans time. His name was Quentin Caesar Salad. He was called salad because of the varied and interesting amount of knowledge and accumulation of facts he had stored in a lifetime of studying. Indeed he was a sage who knew his onions. Nicknamed sage and onions stuffing.

Quentin Caesar Salad invented Roman numerals. He convinced the Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus that instead of counting his enemies as individuals it would be easier to mark on the wall a vertical line like an I for each enemy he had and then count all the Is. The idea soon caught on and Quentin was a hero. Everyone counted in Is instead of counting the items in question. 

There were Is everywhere in ancient Rome. You couldn't go anywhere without Is staring at you. Hence the saying, "walls have Is".     

All street names, days on the calendar and chariots registration numbers had the Roman numeral I for identification. Can you imagine writing the day 31 January as IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Count them. (You did?)

The idea stopped because chariot registration numbers grew so wide with the number of IIIIIs on them that the registration plate knocked pedestrians over as the chariots rushed by. Often chariots got stuck between two trees, (sorry ... II trees), as chariots sped by.  

That's when Quentin came up with a new idea to save losing his head. 

He suggested the introduction of new symbols. When we reach the number 4 it be written as IV, 5 as V, 6 as VI and so on until 8. Then he changed his mind and decided that IX would represent 9, X for 10, XI for 11 and so on. Then he added new letters for good measure. For example L for 50, C for 100, D for 500 and M for 1000.

For a while all was well and the Romans were happy counting in this new way. Then one day, the Emperor Nero received a strange text saying – I LV CLAVDIVS – and he didn’t know whether it was a misdirected amorous message from his wife to Claudius the slave, or his wife’s new telephone number.

So in a rage the Emperor banned the use of all cell-phones from the whole of the Roman Empire.

Nothing was heard from Quentin Caesar Salad after that. Or Claudius the slave for that matter.

Invitation

 

INVITATION

PLEASE JOIN US

IN

THE NATIONAL WEEK OF PRAYER

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Till death do us part

 

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

SERMON HERE

WORTH READING AND SHARING

 

Family Tree Surprise

 

Some of the most observant readers here will have noticed on the right hand side-bar the Coat of Arms of one of my ancestors dating back to medieval times. His name was Richard the Lion Liver. Click on the Coat of Arms to learn more about him.

I hope in the next few weeks to introduce other relatives of mine as I research my family tree surprises. 

Another relative I discovered some years back is Aunt Gertrude who at the time lived in Australia. I contacted her and she came to visit us for several (long) weeks.

Whilst she was with us we also heard that our Uncle Herbert from Dundee was not well. So we decided to drive up to Scotland as a family, with Aunt Gertrude from Australia, and stay with him for a few days until he is better. The old man lives alone, and for some unknown reason he got to like Aunt Gertrude. So we decided a visit would do him the world of good.

Unfortunately, the day before we were due to set off I fell off a ladder whilst cutting a tree in the garden. Not much damage done to the tree but I twisted my ankle badly and could not drive.

So it was decided that I’d stay home, and the family with Auntie would travel by train. But she refused. She said the journey was too long for her and she’d rather not go.

This is a woman who came a thousand plus miles from Australia and yet is refusing to travel a few hundred miles to Scotland.

I tried to encourage her to no avail. I would have gladly paid for a one-way ticket to anywhere in the world to avoid being in the house alone with her but I could not shift her. The last time I was alone with her she fed me cat food!

On the day in question they all left and I was alone with Aunt Gertrude who decided to make me better. She prepared chicken soup which apparently is good for invalids.

I told her it was mid-summer and that I hated chicken soup, and besides a twisted ankle does not make one an invalid. She said it contained pearl barley which is good for you!

After I was fed the soup she suggested we pray together for me to get better.

What? I had no intention of praying with her. But she insisted.

She started with the Rosary and then a number of readings from the Bible followed by other prayers and pleadings to the Lord for my health and that of the whole family, including their safe travel there and back, and not forgetting Uncle Herbert.

To be fair, not once during the prayers did she say “cobber” or “fair dinkum” or “no worries” or any of her other Australian sayings; which no doubt pleased the Good Lord no end.

Then, to make conversation, she said she’d been to that posh department store in London on her last visit and bought something unusual to send back to a friend of hers in Adelaide.

“Oh yes …” I said feigning some interest.

“It’s a Santa Claus costume” she said, “I bought it for a friend who has been asked to be Santa at the local church fete!”

“But … it’s the middle of summer!” I mumbled with a smile.

“I know, cobber … I’ll be posting it to him on Monday … I’d like you to try it first to check the size is right. My friend is about the same size as you and well rotund round the waist too …”

She has a nice way of flattering people, I thought. Before I could say anything she’d been to her room and returned with the red costume. I tried the heavy jacket on first, and then the red trousers too, and I even put on the white beard, just to humour her. As I stood up so she could check the costume for length I accidentally stood on a stupid plastic toy which had been left on the floor.

I heard it crack underneath me and felt the pain of my twisted ankle shoot up my leg. I let out a cry as I collapsed back on the sofa.

“Dear Lord … are you OK cobber!” she cried in a panic, “don’t move fella …” she continued as I nodded that I was OK.

She went out of the room and left me alone to recover slowly from the shooting pains. About ten or so minutes later I heard voices from the front door. Two ambulance men entered the room …

Apparently, when she heard the loud crack under my foot she thought I’d broken a bone and phoned for an ambulance.

The two paramedics checked me out and said I was OK. I tried to explain why I was wearing a Santa costume and one of them said: “Don’t worry sir. We’ve been to a number of call-out situations and have seen many sights. We’ve learnt to be discreet and never ask questions!”

What exactly did he mean by that?

To make matters worse, the other ambulance man, the one who said nothing, is a Deacon at our church, and he plays golf in my club too.

I am so angry at the mad woman that I am still fuming days afterwards. The rest of the family think it is all very funny.

Auntie Gertrude said, “Lighten up cobber … if you’d lost some weight round your waist you would have seen the toy on the ground!”

EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK

 

AMAZON LINK HERE

The Samaritan Today

 

Once upon a time an elderly man was making his way home through the park after a long day at work. Some youths set upon him. They were carrying knives. They mugged him, injured him badly and left him lying in a pool of blood.

A while later a city gent happened to pass by. He looked at the bleeding man on the ground and thought: This may be a trap. If I stop to help him someone might come out from the bushes and attack me. I'd better hurry home.

And so he did.

A while more later another man happened to come along. He saw the elderly man on the ground and thought: I'd better pretend not to have seen him. If I stop and call the police and ambulance they will ask me a lot of questions. They will want a lot of information. I'll be a witness and I'll probably have to go to Court eventually to say what I saw. I really can't be bothered with all this. I'd better rush home.

And so he did.

A few minutes later a learned man came by. He had studied sociology, philosophy, and many other important subjects and he was now a famous professor at the local University whose opinion and views were often sought on matters of importance. He looked at the injured man on the ground and thought: Whoever did this needs help. They must be from an under-priviledged background and up-bringing. Poor souls!

And he hurried home thinking about modern society and decided to write a paper on crime and poverty.

Two thousand years after Jesus told a similar story, (Luke 10:25), life hasn’t changed so much in this world.

Let's get real

 

This article is likely to be harsh, brutal even. It was inspired by a discussion on TV.

It seems that in the 21st Century we have bred a generation of "entitled" people who believe the whole world owes them something as of right, even God. This selfish attitude is symbolised in the belief amongst some Christians that a loving God would not really send any of His creations to Hell for eternity.  Surely God would not do that, they say. A loving parent certainly wouldn't, so if God is our Father, as Jesus said, then He would not let His children perish in Hell for eternity.

Such belief is wrong and totally stupid. For a start, God does not send anyone to Hell. People choose to go to Hell by their own behaviour here on earth and when they die they are judged accordingly by a fair and just Creator God. Hell exists for sure, as does Heaven. Jesus taught this so many times as recorded in the Gospels and elsewhere in the Bible. Whichever is our eventual destiny is up to us and no one else.

Another false belief is that God is forgiving, and He will eventually forgive all of us anyway, even the devil. Another load of nonsense. Of course, God is forgiving, but He is no fool; no push-over. He will forgive those who, in this life, genuinely repent of their sins and seek His forgiveness. 

The devil exists all right, he is no euphemism for being naughty and doing wrong. He is a living spirit like angels. In fact the devil was an angel originally who rebelled against God. God in His infinite love and mercy let him and his followers go free throughout the world. Their rebellion is accentuated by the fact that they roam free to encourage us to follow their example and turn away from God.

God can hardly forgive someone who has never asked for forgiveness and is intent to work against God's wishes and Commandments. This applies to the devil and also includes us.

Yet another contorted logic questions why a loving God does not hear or answer our prayers. Let's get real about this. God owes us nothing. He loves us and listens to all our prayers but that does not mean He has to answer. 

He does not have to explain why some prayers are answered and others are not, or why some things happen to us like tragedies, disasters and so on. If God answered every prayer then there would be no more funerals in the world and we would live for ever. God is not a magician or genie ready to respond to our every selfish demand. He is God. We are not. It is time we remembered this and treat Him with love and respect rather than serve Him in an advisory capacity.

There is right now a lot of false teachings amongst the Christian communities; and this does no good to either Christians, or to those who are interested in joining our beliefs. 

Christianity requires Faith. Faith is to believe when your common sense tells you not to. 

To be sure of the things we hope for and to be certain of the things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1)