Thursday, 10 July 2025

Feelings and moods

 

We are all susceptible to feelings and moods; like love, anger, melancholy, humour and so on.

For instance, I sometimes wake up grumpy. At other times I just leave her to sleep and go downstairs and make a cup of tea. 

I often take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

Honestly, I love being married. It's great to find the person I can annoy for the rest of my life. She is family. I also love my family. If it was not for my family I'd be arguing with perfect strangers.

I want my children to have all the things I could not afford at their age. Then I'll move in with them. 

Before I got married I used to sell furniture. It was my own furniture. I've always been poor. Even as a child my parents were very poor. So poor that we used to tie a dead hedgehog to a stick and use it as a toilet brush. We could not afford the things people take for granted these days. I used to lie in my bed and look up to the sky and think, "I hope one day to afford mending the roof!" I often dreamt of winning the lottery. Incidentally, how come you never see a headline like, "Psychic wins the lottery"?

My friend is very rich. I'll admit that I envy him. He has two swimming pools in his garden. He keeps one empty for people who cannot swim. I don't envy or covet his wife. I certainly would not want to meet her in a dark alley at night. She is very thin, with a white pale skin, and long black hair all over her back. None on her head; just down her back. 

Sometimes in my moods I ask myself a lot of questions; but never find the answers. For example, do aliens from outer space have tattoos? Do they wear glasses, or have beards, or earrings and piercings like we humans do? Do they like Italian food, or Greek, French or Chinese?

How do they communicate with us? Do they have a translator App which translate their language to English? What if they land in Spain or some other country?

Why do we have so many Apps these days? Our grandparents got on well without them. They had books and libraries instead. Now there's an App for everything. An App for this and an App for that, how to open a can of beans, how to wash behind your ears or fart in a bottle. What's wrong with society these days who cannot live without an App telling them how to do it?

There's even an App that corrects my spelling and grammar when I type on this computer of mine; even though sometimes I want to deliberately write something wrong to make a point.  

I just read in the papers that the man who invented "Autocorrect" has just died. May he restaurant in peace!

Here's a song about feelings to make you feel better. 


 

6 comments:

  1. Victor, I don't think I have ever known of a comedian who is funnier than you, you are very talented at comedy. I listened to Les Dawson singing, no need to tell you what my 'feelings' were after listening.... ha...... ha.!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Brenda for your kind compliments. I am so glad I cheered you up a little. It pleases me no end when my readers smile a little at what I say.

      By the way, have you seen my previous post "The Soup Waved At Me"? There's a FREE humourous book to download from there. ( www.holyvisions.co.uk )

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. ...I'm not an app guy, but I try to be a h-app-y guy!

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  3. Yep, there's a app for that that's apt to make me un-appy. Victor, your sense of humor can't be beat! I enjoyed the video, too. What a hoot! God bless!

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  4. You are a good comedian - I follow a sentence and then bang - here comes the punch line.

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