Friday, 31 January 2014

Dog Food lands me in hospital

At the supermarket today buying a bag of Woof dog food for my dog.
Whilst at the check-out line a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT ???
So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Woof Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time; but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Woof Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.


  1. (((I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.)))

    You've got to be more careful Victor cause had this guy suffered a heart attack, you really would have been in big trouble now.


    God Bless

  2. OK. I read this one aloud to my family...Big laughs!!

    Thanks for the laughs, Victor. :o)

    1. Glad I made you all laugh, Hand-Maid.

      God bless you and your family.

  3. Oh, I just came by to see if you replied to my comment and realized my comment never went through! I wonder if I forgot to hit publish?

    Anyway, this story is so funny! I especially laughed when I read "I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me." I can see that you know dogs well!
    You know what, Victor? I can picture you saying this kind of stuff to people who ask dumb questions at the supermarket :)

    1. Hi Mary,

      Sorry if your comment did not publish. This happens to me sometimes too. I was told that if the internet or electricity cables/wires are caught under a chair or something heavy the comments get stuck in the wires and do not go through to the computer. If you move the chair you'll find your comment will come to my computer and get published.

      I'm glad you've enjoyed this story. People do ask silly questions sometimes.

      That's my dog at the top. He is praying that my sense of humour improves.

      God bless.

  4. Victor, Have you thought that perhaps Aunt Gertrude has made a great influence on you? LOL All you'd have to do is insert 'cobber' every few sentences and you'd pretty much have a scene right out of her playbook!
    And people do ask silly questions lots of times. : )
    Blessings always +

    1. Too true cobber. She'd have a comment or two to make had she been in the supermarket with me.

      God bless you Caroline.

  5. I just laughed out loud.

    Thank you for sharing your gift Victor.

    God Bless you.

  6. ROFL, now that is a good one LOL



God bless you.