Friday, 16 October 2015
I do hate to meet people in the supermarket when I am shopping, don't you? I mean, people I know, not just ordinary shoppers.
You have to stop and say hello and pretend to be interested when all you want to do is get your shopping done and get out of the shop as quickly as possible. And worse still when you see their eyes looking downwards at your trolley and noticing that you bought some cheap item or other instead of the best brand available on the shelf. And you're such a miser that you bought the "buy one get one free" offer of coffee which is no more than burnt horse manure and not one coffee bean has been used in its making.
Or even more worse still, when I get to meet the priest at the supermarket and he eyes the brand of whisky I have just bought, or the quality wines and beer; and I always pretend that I don't drink really. "It's just in case someone visits us at home, Father. Honestly! And don't take that as a hint of an invitation. This whisky is mine and mine alone. You can have the cheap one when you visit us. I always decant it into an empty bottle with an expensive label on!"
Anyway, where is all this leading to, I hear you ask. Yes ... I can hear you all right.
Well, the other day I was at the supermarket and I bumped into a lady friend from work. She's a lively young thing of about thirty or so, always bubbly and laughing. We stopped and talked, about work ... what else. As we're standing there chatting I notice that in her trolley there were no fewer than six packets of condoms of various types and quality/flavour (???)
She had made no effort whatsoever to hide them under the large packet of cornflakes or the super big box of energy drinks cans.
Six packets containing five condoms each equates to quite a lot of exercise for her and her husband or boyfriend, I thought.
As we were talking inanely about work she noticed from my eyes that I had noticed what was lying there on top of her trolley.
She picked up a packet and said "These are our favourite brand, if you were wondering! Which ones do you use?"
As I said ... I hate meeting people in the supermarket. Whether I know them or not.
Which supermarket do you go to and when, so I can avoid meeting you?