Saturday 3 November 2018

Go Away ... I'm Busy


Why is it when you are busy trying to do something you get as many interruptions as you can accumulate in a short space of time?

There I was at home busy writing an urgent report which just had to be finished for work that day when the phone rings.

"Hello ... yes, it's me. How can I help you?

"No thank you, I do not need to have new windows fitted in my house. Why? Because I live in a tent, that's why. Good bye!"

I got back to work. A few minutes later the phone rings again.

"Hello ... how can I help you? No thank you I do not have time right now to take part in a shopping survey. It's too inconvenient right now ... why? Because a horse has just got in my house through the window and left a pile on the carpet which I have to clean up before my wife gets home! The vacuum cleaner does not work. So unless you can deliver a new vacuum cleaner in the next ten seconds. Good bye!"

I put the phone down feeling proud of my impromptu response which made me laugh even if it did not amuse the other person at the end of the phone.

Why do they phone when I'm busy? I have to answer the phone because I'm expecting an urgent call from a work colleague. So I can't leave the answer-phone machine to take the calls. (I remembered later about call-screening).

I get back to work. The door bell rings. I open the door. Someone is standing there with a collecting tin.

"This is a collection for fallen women!" he said.

"Sorry ... I haven't got any here!" I reply flippantly.

Then, feeling a little guilty I give him a penny. That's four pennies I have already given away so far this month.

Why do these people with collection tins make you feel so guilty in your own home? A few weeks ago it was a collection for a Home for Distressed Weasels. Then it was someone collecting money for the local Museum of Shoes Throughout The Ages.

Museum of Shoes? If you want to see shoes ask any woman. What is it with you ladies and shoes? Why do you need to have so many? Shoes and chocolates ... that's what a lot of women crave for. If you want to confuse a woman give her a shoe made of chocolate!!!

I really don't see the point at all in being charitable. You give money away to charity and don't get any benefit from the transaction. What's so clever about that?

Anyway, after the latest interruption I got back to work and the phone rings again.

"Hello ... goodbye ... go away!" I shout.

"Oh sorry auntie ... I did not know it was you? Is it urgent? Only I have a lot to do right now ...

"No of course you're not interrupting auntie ... only ... I have to finish some work and then go to the vet ...

"No, I am not with Yvette. Yes, I know she is a wonderful young lady. Yes ... I know she has been a bit down-hearted lately. Ever since her poinsettia plant died. I know they're delicate plants, auntie ...

"What is it I can do for you auntie? Can it wait or is it urgent?

"No ... I said I am not busy with Yvette. I have never been busy with Yvette or any one else for that matter ... well, my wife maybe ... every blue moon it seems!

"I said I was due to go to the vet ...

"No not a bet ... you know I don't bet. I said VET with a V for Violet ... not a B for Batty Old Aunt ...

"No auntie, I am not shouting. There's nothing wrong with my vest. I am not with Violet either ... No Yvette and no Violet ... I am here alone. Here ... listen ... You see ... you cannot hear anything because there is no one here ... except me.

(Sotto Voce - Deaf Old Trout).

"No I did not say Deaf Old Trout ... (You heard that all right!) ... I said I agree there is no need to shout ...

"Oh ... don't get upset auntie ... I'll come over to see you later OK? I'll buy you some flowers and some chocolates from the gas station to cheer you up.

"Hello? I can't hear you auntie ... I am loosing the connection ... the train is going into a tunnel and I'll lose the ..."

I put the phone down with a smile wondering whether she will ever realise she had phoned me at home and not on my cell-phone.

The phone rings again.

"Hello auntie ... yes, I can hear you OK. The house has just got out of the tunnel. Bing Bong. Bing Bong. Sorry auntie. I have to go now. There's someone at the door."

I put the phone down.

It rings again immediately. It is my work's colleague. The report I am writing is not that urgent now. Management needs it in a week's time.

23 comments:

  1. You are absolutely spot on, Victor. The phone comes alive and crazy right when we need to focus or complete or start something important.

    But in the light of eternity, not much is all that urgent, is it.

    Enjoy your weekend, 'ol chap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you mean by eternity? Will my phone be ringing for ever then? Do we get given new phone numbers in Heaven?

      Happy Weekend Linda. God bless you.

      Delete
  2. I didn't see the end coming but I should have. That doesn't happen often, but it does happen. You took me back to my working days.

    Have a fabulous weekend. 😎

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Comedy Plus,

      It's great to see you visiting me here. Thank you. Please call again soon and often.

      Happy weekend. God bless you.

      Delete
  3. We are all busy until we are not!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Chocolate Shoe" That line is classic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women would not know whether to eat it or wear it.

      God bless you JoeH.

      Delete
  5. "This is a collection for fallen women!" he said.

    "Sorry ... I haven't got any here!" I reply flippantly.


    Hahhahaha! ;-D


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you enjoyed this line, Sandi.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  6. Living with a hearing-impaired hubby, I can SO identify with using my 'sotto voice' … then, BUSTED! No-one ever told me, the lower register is oftentimes more recognizable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think my aunt uses her hearing selectively. She knows full well what she is doing.

      God bless you and your family Mevely.

      Delete
  7. Always, always, always seems to happen to me, too, Victor, when I'm most pressed to pull a blog together or simply have a lot on my plate to get done. It can be so very frustrating, but here, you've made it humorous, and that's easy to swallow!
    Blessings, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Humour is good. Did you know the humerus is the long bone in the upper arm? It is located between the elbow joint and the shoulder. Have you ever hit the inside of your elbow in just the right spot and felt a tingling or prickly kind of dull pain? That's your funny bone!

      Funny bone, humerus, humour or humor in the US.

      Not to be confused with hummus - a paste made with chickpeas. Good to eat. But funnier if you stick you elbow in it. You then have a humerus hummus - and that's humour in my book.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  8. Funny post Victor. If I get a phone call that interupts what I'm doing or if it's a sales pitch, I just talk in Inupiaq Eskimo language which my wife and I studied years ago and it just stops them in their tracks. They don't know what to say and I just hang up. Works all the time.
    Enjoy your evening with no interruptions. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good idea, Bill. Just brilliant. I could talk in my French accent:

      "Comment? Je ne comprends pas! Wat eez eet you are telling ze moi?"

      Just brilliant. God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  9. Politics and insurance... a dozen calls a day during this time of year. Block, block, block... and still the come. Frustrating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed Terri. People selling things on the phone. We get them all the time.

      God bless you and yours, Terri.

      Delete
  10. Many??? You say MANY... Hahahahaha your funny.
    It is more like SLAMMED!

    ReplyDelete
  11. ooof I thought I was following your blog. My Bad, I am now :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's good that you're following my Blog. Now you will not miss anything good.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  12. It's not shoes so much for me as purses and totes. : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have any made of chocolates, Happyone?

      God bless.

      Delete

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