Saturday 2 March 2019

Stupid Street Names


I hate it when Local Authorities name streets the most stupid of names you can't remember; or name a whole area with the same theme. Let me explain. There's an area in our town where all the streets are named after birds - Robin Road, Eagle Street, Pigeon Crescent, Dove Street etc ... fairly easy to remember, I think.

There is also another area where all the streets are named after trees, for some reason or other.

Anyway, I was out there the other day walking the dog when I met an old friend. We stopped and chatted for a while. Suddenly he grasped his chest and fell to the ground. I quickly phoned for an ambulance on my cell-phone.

The operator asked me: "Where are you?"

I replied: "Laburnum Avenue."

She said: "Can you spell it so I can enter it on my computer?"

How could I spell laburnum? I don't carry a dictionary in my pocket. And there was nowhere a street sign I could read it from. I repeated again and again "Laburnum Avenue ... Lab ur num ... I think ... Laburnum ..." but this did not help.

In desperation, I grabbed my friend by his jacket, dragged him all the way down the street, he was heavy I tell you, and phoned again the woman and said: "I am in Oak Street. O-A-K ... Oak Street."

The man died by the time the ambulance arrived.

Now the Authorities want to know whether he died in Laburnum Avenue or Oak Street.

I told them he died on the sidewalk. But this is not good enough apparently.

What do you think?

24 comments:

  1. Very funny! Except for the dying thing of course.

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    1. We've all got to die, JoeH. As long as we don't die in Laburnum Avenue.

      God bless.

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  2. WHAT an imagination, Victor! I live in an area called the French Quarter. There is also a French Quarter in New Orleans--300 miles away. The streets are all named the same. THIS could cause confusion!
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. Indeed it would cause great confusion, Lulu. I hope you never have to drag someone by the coat for 300 miles. Quicker to phone for an ambulance!

      God bless you my smiling friend.

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  3. I think the folks manning the phones should have a map of the city close enough to refer to it. Here is FL lots of the streets (and cities) are named with native American names that are hard to pronounce, let along spell.

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    1. She did have an electronic computer map; but she had to type in Laburnum Avenue and did not know how to spell it.

      God bless you, Terri.

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  4. Years ago on my blog once a week I would post a picture of a street sign with an odd names. There are some weird ones out there. One that comes to mind was, "Forty Winks.'

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    1. I once took a wrong turning and found a street called Godso Close! How about that.

      God bless you, Happyone.

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  5. :D I grew up in a town on the North Dakota/Minnesota border with a grid street system - "streets" running north and south, "avenues" east and west.

    Addresses weren't particularly colorful, quaint or poetic. But telling someone I lived at 818 10th street south told them within a dozen yards or so where that address is.

    There's much to say for "practical." But then, I'm half-Norwegian, and that's another topic.

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    1. Hi Brian,

      There's a city in England built on this grid system. A friend of mine bought three houses, one on each grid, and won at Tic-Tact-Toe (Noughts and Crosses)!!!

      God bless.

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  6. Poor chap! He'd have been in the same pickle if I had been there instead of you, Victor - there are so many words that stump me in the spelling department. So thankful for auto-correct!
    Blessings!

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    1. The ambulance service now advises that we all carry a dictionary whenever we go out walking. A friend carried the whole Encyclopaedia Britannica with him, got a hernia, phoned the ambulance and they found him on page 376.

      God bless you, Martha. Keep smiling.

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  7. The authorities have no sense of humor.
    We have a friend who lives on Chow Mein Lane - gets teased mercilessly :)

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    1. There's a farm near us owned by an old man called McDonald. His initials are E I E I O !!!

      Now that's funny. God bless you, Chris.

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  8. Poor chap. I can't even pronounce that … much less spell it! The worst I've seen is "Hamster Lane." Imagine living there and having to write that on one's envelopes and medical forms.

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    1. Hamster Lane? Was it circular and you had to go round and round and not able to go elsewhere?

      God bless you, Mevely.

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  9. laburnum...I used to live in Richmond, Virginia and we had a Laburnum street name, probably inherited from your crazy British town! ;-) I would have dragged him to Oak st too... ha ha!

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    1. I tell you, Sandi; he was very heavy. I needed the ambulance more than him.

      God bless you always.

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  10. When we lived in Alaska, we lived next to a street, easy street was its name. Now isn't that easy to remember and spell? :)

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    1. Yes Bill; but it would have been a long way to drag him from the UK to Alaska. I was out of breath dragging him to Oak Street.

      God bless you my smiling friend.

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  11. When we lived in Ireland, the directions to a place would often be something like: Go up the hill where the wall is tumbling (what one isn't) then follow the curve past Regon's old house, not the new one, and turn left where the old water pump used to be. After a few years, it actually started to make sense.

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    1. I understand, Susan. Had I directed the ambulance this way it would never have arrived though. It would have been quicker to drag him all the way to the hospital.

      I once asked for direction, and the man I was asking said, "I wouldn't start from here if I were you!"

      God bless.

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  12. Love the image you've used for this post Victor.

    Yes street names can be so confusing …
    I used to wonder why are some roads called avenues, whereas others may be streets, lanes, closes etc. Then you have some with numbers that seem to be in no order whatsoever and others where the houses are just names.
    Confusing or what … and then when you have your predicament, the poor ambulance driver wouldn't stand a chance !!!

    Enjoy your weekend.

    All the best Jan

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    1. You are right, Jan. I believe all this confusion is because of people working for the local authorities who think they are clever at town planning.

      Happy weekend and God bless you.

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