Romance

It is amazing the number of TV programs these days about meeting a partner and match-making. In all of them, it seems, the individuals featured are looking for a quick solution to an age old problem. They all want to find the perfect partner who will love them and cherish them and be by their side for ever more - and they all want to find him or her quickly. Instantly. No waiting.

In almost all cases the individuals searching for their knight in shining armour, or their beautiful princess, seem to focus their desires on physical features mostly. They all want their partners to be handsome or beautiful, smart, wonderful, kind, with a sense of humour, and all the other superlatives one can think of. And there's very little attention paid to shared values, education, aspirations or the like. All they seem to need is an instant physical attraction and hey presto we have romance; now let's jump into bed.

In their search for instancy they forget that their interpretation of romance, if such it is, wanes and often gets tired as time goes by. What is important is true love, affection and respect for one another; caring for one another; companionship and friendship.

But what is romance exactly, or intimacy; which is a more delicate way of putting it.

Romance should be cultivated, like a delicate flower. The mood should be right. The moment should be right. How can one be "romantic" when your wife puts all sorts of creams on her face and has her hair in curlers before going to bed? The sight of a creamed-up face with cucumber slices for eyes is enough to make any man's heart miss a beat - and for all the wrong reasons.

How can you have "romance" when your girl is lying on the bed and as you're about to kiss her, she looks up at you and says: "The ceiling needs painting again!"

The time for "romance" should be right. No point in her fluttering her eyes alluringly and wants to be friendly just as the football is starting on TV? Don't you ladies realise the importance of sport in a man's life?

And don't believe everything you read. It said in a magazine article that "romance" is more exciting when spontaneous and unexpected. Well, that's another supermarket I've been thrown out of !!!

Some men complain that their partners suddenly appear in the bedroom all alluring in a new sexy negligent, (that's a negligee made in Britain), without giving them enough time to focus their  imagination as to whom they're romancing.

Men, on the other hand, are more understanding and more sensitive when it comes to matters of "romance". 

We know full well that you ladies want flowers or chocolates as prize tokens of our esteem. Fortunately these days, many a gas filling station has these items available at the check-out as you pay for your petrol. 

But let's be honest here, ladies. We men just cannot understand why you need all this constant re-assurance and repetition of our affection for you? Isn't it obvious that we love you? We said so when we got married.

I remember years ago I said to my future father-in-law that I wanted to marry his daughter. He said: "Have you seen her mother?"

I replied: "Yes. But I still prefer to marry your daughter!"

We men don't go for this constant repetition and re-assurance of our affection. For us men, it goes without saying, or repeating. We said we loved you once, years ago, and that should suffice. After all, one would not thank a kettle, or a toaster, or a fridge every day for being there, does one?